Ode to Jove Grace Day Dress: Ivory Sheep Review

I've been a fan of the Canadian based company, Ivory Sheep for several years now.  I first encountered the owner in the Selkie fan groups as her business was just beginning.  I loved how she was just a person, a fellow dress lover who was fulfilling her dream to become a dress shop owner.  The cherry on top was that she gave prompt and personal service, and genuinely seemed to care about her customers.  When Selkie's spring launch was an utter shit show, she went above and beyond to get orders out.  I never saw a single negative word uttered about her and many saw her as someone to rely on against the chaos of that time.  Unfortunately in the wake of that and other frustrations Mackenzie and Ivory Sheep, like so many other stockists at the time, chose to end their relationship with Selkie.  Fortunately for dress lovers, Mackenzie soldiered on by launching her own collection.  I fell immediately in love with this Ode to Jove dress when it released on the spring of 2025, but the rules of my Low Buy year didn't allow me to purchase.  I determined that if it was still in stock come Black Friday that I would bring it home.

Black Friday rolled around and to my sheer delight Ivory Sheep had a 40% off site-wide sale and allowed me to stack a promo code as well, plus gave me free shipping and I was able to make this beauty mine for 50% off the original price.

The print for this dress is called Allegory of Glory.  Originally painted in the fresco style by Mariano Rossi it depicts the battle of Roman general Marcus Furius Camillus against the Etruscan city of Veii.  The Roman army lay siege to the walled city and the Etruscans were successful in holding them off, until General Camillus got the idea to tunnel under the city.  This painting celebrates his victory.  Strange subject for a dress print?  Perhaps, but you can't argue with the outcome.

Outfit Info: Ode To Jove Grace Day Dress from Ivory Sheep, Shoes from B.A.I.T.

Autumn Was a Lamb

    Autumn was a lamb. I spent the better part of autumn going outside for afternoon sunbathing and wearing light cotton dresses, enjoying every warm moment while it lasted.  Winter is already roaring like a lion. I look forward to the cozy winter days indoors, bundled up by the fire, reading an old favorite or a vintage page turner, but this year, because we've been working on our house so much, I'm afraid the cold season is upon us and we are woefully under stocked on firewood.  So, as the rain and sleet are falling outside my window this morning, I'm writing this from under the covers.  I've already dashed out to feed and water all the animals and run right back in to stoke the fire without overloading it on the precious pieces of firewood that we do have left, and wrap up to keep warm.

    As soon as this little cold snap passes, we'll get back outside to cut more firewood, so I'm not really worried about the length of the winter, but this first pass has been rough.  Even our 20 year old tabby cat has given up laying on my feet and snuggled as close to the fireplace as she possibly can.  It's hard to believe it was only two weeks ago that I the leaves were vibrant and the fall sunshine lit up the woods to create this beautiful evening in the photos for today's post.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Kitchen print Kelly Dress, Betsey Johnson Bag, B.A.I.T. Heels, Betsey Johnson Necklace & Earrings

Pink Porcelain

"sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent." 

"One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things."

"When have you been at your strongest?" asked the boy.  "When I have dared to show my weakness. Asking for help isn't giving up," said the horse. "It's refusing to give up." from The boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse by Charlie Mackesy

As the holidays approach, I know that this can be one of the most difficult times of year for many.  I've had this post written for years, but now seems like the ideal time to post it. 

    I always hated asking for help. Hate isn't really a strong enough word. I felt a physical revulsion to asking for help. Why? Well, for one thing I was a perfectionist who hated to admit that things weren't perfect, hated to admit that I was weak or had failed. But it goes beyond that.  

Asking for help means being vulnerable enough with someone to expose your weakness to them and then stand there, naked, while they consider whether or not you're worth their time and help. It means not only showing that your weakness, admitting failure, but also in the midst of all that, facing rejection. I could deal with the failure. I could deal with the weakness. It was the vulnerability and even more so, it was the utter rejection in a time of greatest need by someone who claimed to love me or be a true friend that I could not accept. If I was rejected once, even on or perhaps especially on small help, I would never ask again. If I was rejected on really big help, I found I could no longer look at those people, let alone feel kindly toward them. And, please bear in mind that on the rare occasion that I did ask for help, the answer was nearly always No.  

And, so rather than dislike and mistrust a growing number of people, I stopped asking for help. Can't get rejected if you never ask.  It was only years and years into my adult life that I found myself in such a state of utter brokenness that I cried out, begged for someone, anyone to help me, and kept begging until someone did. Even in that awful time, I got a lot of rejections, but it didn't matter anymore; I'd already experienced the worst, what was a little more? I didn't just have to face rejection, I had to keep facing it. It sounds like it would be the hardest thing to do, but it wasn't. At the end of myself, at the end of my delusion of perfection, it was either face up or give up.  

There were a very few who came to help and they made all the difference. Asking for help, isn't giving up, it's refusing to give up. Asking for help means that you are saying, I will keep going, keep fighting, keep asking no matter what it takes. So, keep going, keep fighting, keep asking for help until you get it. As for me, I'm no longer a perfectionist. Not interested in pretending. Not interested in trying. Far more likely to ask for help if I need it and shrug off rejection when I face it.  And far happier because of it.

Outfit info:  Selkie pink porcelain Renaissance dress--thrifted 

Songs of Love; Songs of Loss: Music Review

I have never done a music review on the blog, but a couple of new releases have me extremely impressed, so I wanted to share.  I'm not a fan of Taylor Swift, but I don't hate her either and it seems like (or at least the media wants us to believe) that all people must fall into one of those camps.   I loved Blank Space, video and song, still do.  And I wouldn't skip it if Style came up in the shuffle.  Shake It Off wasn't a favorite, but it was catchy and I did like the message.  My personal opinion of Swift is that she is beautiful, talented and she works very hard.  I'm happy she's happy and I hope it lasts.  I've heard people slam her for repeating lines across multiple songs, but that's what happens when you write your own music; You repeat yourself.   Have you ever watched some pop-whore like Katy Perry or Beyonce try to explain what a song means?  They stumble because, they didn't write it.  They just sang the words with no feeling behind the voice.  I admire that Swift did or does write much of her own material.  And, yes she's taken criticism for releasing albums directly after break-ups, but strong emotion tends to need an outlet. 

By strong contrast, her new album, Life of a Showgirl, has just released with a solid love song entitled The Fate of Ophelia, which I really liked.  It was lovely and intelligent, well written and well performed.  The videos for this album were really wonderful, well choreographed, employing a host of talented dancers and fellow singers like Sabrina Carpenter (again, not a fan of her music per say, but Please, Please, Please was smart, stylish, and catchy)  and each one is filled with beautiful scenes.  I can't say I enjoyed any of the other songs on the album as much, though I did like the fact that not all the songs are love songs.  The title song itself is a correspondence between an up and coming showgirl and one on the decline.  It wasn't world shattering, but it was a refreshing move away from all the love and hate songs out there.  It's like people have forgotten there are other things to sing about.  So, I'm giving kudos to Swift for a shift away from the break-up music, and truly, she's stepping down as the break-up queen just in time.

Lily Allen's new album, West End Girl, has just released and if it's not the most brutal work of (please pardon my language, nothing else would do) fuckoffery  in existence, I owe you a coke.  Growing up, I remember hearing Carly Simon's, You're So Vain, and thinking it was a rather scathing anti-tribute.  I even sang it in the mirror a few times to the junior high boy who broke my heart.  So, Taylor Swift didn't make this mold, but Lily Allen definitely broke it.  Simon's song doesn't even hold a candle to what Allen has created here.  West End Girl is a thorough walk through pain and loss: Allen's husband asking for an open marriage, lamentably in consenting, feeling that laying ground rules would help, and the utter implosion that followed after.  She doesn't hold back and it is achingly beautiful.  

Quite honestly, I wasn't a fan of Allen's either.  I only knew her as the woman who was with David Harbor after Alison Sudol (whom I am a fan of), and I used to love watching Architectural Digest, so had seen the tour of their home.  As the new season of Stranger Things is set to release (David Harbor plays Hopper in the show) I only looked into this album out of a shameful curiosity, like browsing through a People magazine.  What I found instead was something so raw, so viciously honest that I truly was moved by the work as a whole.  Even the accompanying videos portrayed a woman stuck in a slow-motion hell on repeat, and if you've ever experienced any sort of deep grief from the loss of a relationship to the death of a loved one, you know that's exactly how it feels as you struggle to cope. 

These amazing ladies are sharing their love and loss in such touching ways.  I recommend you at least give them a listen.  Their stories are worth hearing.

Fighting FOMO

Black Friday brought a bevy of fantastic sales on things I had at some point in the year thought of purchasing and now was ever so tempted to give in or forever miss out on these items' promises to finally make my life complete and at a special bargain price.  I so wish that buying stuff actually delivered on the promises they make, that feeling content and complete is just one purchase away.  I was fighting FOMO hard during the kick-off to holiday spending.  The Fear Of Missing Out is a normal human instinct and one that has driven mankind to pursue their goals, reach higher, go the distance, etc., etc throughout history. On the grand scale, life is a temporary condition and it can quite literally pass us by if we don't get the fear in us to make the most of it.  But, like all things there has to be some balance to it.  At some point, it's time to let a few things pass us by as we sit back and enjoy life a bit too.  The pursuit, the fear, can become addictive and all consuming.  The simple fact is, you gotta let a few go, opportunities and amazing sales alike.  That's become more difficult than ever in this age of constant advertisements of the life you could be leading if you only bought X.    

Growing up, I believed I was born into the wrong style era and suffered the emotional consequences, because I was too young to understand that there was nothing wrong with my body, and everything wrong with the trend of clothes I was trying to fit into.  As a result, if I did come across something that actually fit or even better, actually looked good on me, I would stock up so I could have nice clothing until I could find more on some far distant day.  Scarcity mindset got a hold of me pretty early on in life. 

Over the years my body changed and styles changed too.  There are now so many options for sizes, styles, and fits that I don't really have to buy in bulk when I find something that works because there are so many options.  I have a plethora of perfect-for-me pieces of clothing and yet I find myself still constantly searching.  What started out as a survival mechanism turned to a habit and an obsession.  It was only a few years ago that I realized that I spent most of my time searching for and acquiring more, but rarely ever stopping to enjoy what I already had.   It's been a stressful year and even thrifting has been a crutch I've leaned on way too much.

I've had mixed success with spending freezes and the low buy year hasn't been a total triumph but it hasn't been a total failure either.  I've managed to stick to thrifting everything except a few Black Friday purchases and even then walked away from about 70% of what I wanted to buy.  In light of all that, I've decided to just keep at it until this gets easier and I get better at it.  I really want to just take a break from shopping, wanting, searching, obsessing, from FOMO, from all of it.  I want to spend some time just appreciating what I have.  And I have realized that if I really want to be successful at it, I have to get off the internet.  With the holidays coming, I can't just stop spending altogether, but I can stop for a few days out of each week and make a plan to shut it down for a while in the new year.  That may mean pausing the blog for a while too, but I think it will be worth it if I can see it through.

Haul, Declutter, Repeat

After a seemingly unending home renovation (yes, it's still going on), I reminded of an important lesson: You can't build something that lasts without a solid foundation.  This applies to more than just actual construction.  

The Internet abounds with quick-fix content.  Feeling unhealthy? Buy this supplement.  Feeling lonely?  Swipe right & hook up.  Want to lose a ton of weight?  Try a fad diet or a dangerous injection.  Drowning in stuff?  Just declutter.  While short-cuts might work for minor issues, they rarely work long term and never solve complex issues like addiction.

Try a short-cut and you will find that: after the supplements run out you'll go back to feeling unhealthy because you didn't address unhealthy habits.  After the hook up, you'll still be lonely because you didn't build a true and meaningful relationship or address the behaviors that lead to isolation.  Go off the diet or stop the shots and the weight will surely return (and then some) because you didn't build a healthy relationship with food.  Declutter and then watch as your home and closet fill up again because you didn't deal with your shopping addiction.

Hauls feel good for the dopamine hit of getting something new.  (I was definitely lost in a haul phase about five years ago)  Declutters feel good for getting organized and having breathing room again.  (I did a major declutter two years ago)  And while the occasional shopping spree or junk purge are perfectly fine, we are literally watching the addiction cycle on repeat with every influencer who Hauls/Declutters, Hauls/Declutters, Hauls/Declutters.  Since I've done the hauls and I've done a major declutter there's no judgement here, just observation: It's not healthy for your mind or your bank account.  And sometimes, the declutters actually trigger you to buy more because now you have all this space.  

2025 has been a Low Buy year for me.  Essentially my rule was that I would ditch the designers and stick to thrifting.  Thrifting in itself can give that dopamine hit because you've discovered a sought after treasure and for a bargain, but like all good things, it can be excessive; it can be addictive and although I know I am making progress and am leaps and bounds better off than I was years ago during my haul phase, which involved a lot of impulse buying, I still have to be careful.  Take this Selkie Day dress in rich red.   I found it for 65% off the original cost and as much as I wanted to snag it on the spot, I watched and waited for 6 weeks before buying (so there's some major progress there because it wasn't an impulse), but did I really need it at all?  No, no I did not.  I have plenty of other festive dresses; I was drawn in by the thrill of the bargain.  Rather than getting frustrated with myself, I'm going to be kind, be calm, and not declutter a whole bunch of red dresses to make up for it.

While I've spent far less than last year and made great strides toward my goals, including breaking my haul habit and waiting at least 24 hours before buying something so I can truly think it over, I've definitely brought in enough new-to-me treasures that my closet is starting to feel cluttered again.  Doing small declutters at intervals is part of maintaining a tidy home, but having to do major declutters indicates a real problem with in-flow.  So, I'm committed to stemming the tide rather than doing haul/declutter on an endless repeat.  I've come to terms with the fact that I love clothing and I'm never going to completely stop shopping, but I'm getting better and better at bringing in less, reining in my spending, enjoying what I own, and addressing my behaviors by doing the hard work rather than reaching for short-cuts and quick fixes.  So, before the Black Friday and Cyber Monday madness begin, I'm doing a little internal inventory, to see what I really want to add and only if the price is right, and more than anything to just be thankful for what I already have.

Outfit Info:  Selkie Day Dress thrifted from TheRealReal, Shoes by B.A.I.T
 

Dress Up & Show Up

    I know so many people who absolutely ache to wear nice things but are too afraid to buck this excessively casual trend we're stuck in.  I also know that it's hard to stand out from the crowd, but to me it feels harder to be miserable following along with everyone else.  If you dress up you'll inevitably face scrutiny and questions like, "why are you all dressed up?" The implication there is that if you don't have a darn good reason you are probably just thirsty for attention or showing off.  

    Dressing well isn't about showing off; it's about showing up.  It's not about vanity; it's about value.  The science is in; how you dress affects your mood, how you carry yourself and how you perform in your work and relationships.  When you dress well, you're showing up in your own life.  It's about valuing yourself enough to dress like it.  Nothing more.  

Outfit Info:  Zaza Dress from Ivy City Co., Shoes from B.A.I.T., Handbook for the Recently Deceased wallet from Amazon

 

Iconic Style

There's a huge emphasis right now on "individual style."  Throngs of attacks have been launched against shows like What Not To Wear for essentially telling people that their personal style was horrid, throwing everything away, and stripping them down to a few shopping rules, and then sending them home in a cookie cutter style.  

Personal style is a wonderful thing, the trouble is that most people are not interested in having truly unique style, they just want to look good without thinking too much about it.  And many people who have individual style...well, it's bad.  Guidelines or fashion rules aren't really a bad thing, and I'm sorry to say that most people don't want to go it alone, they want trends to follow and rules to cling to so they can just get on with their lives while feeling confident they look good.  And now we can't do that.  Everyone is left to their own devices, which means some confident, creative individuals are feeling total freedom and loving every second of it, and, yes, looking good doing it.  While nearly everyone else is kind of feeling lost at this point and just wearing the very safest and most thoughtless of outfits: jeans & t-shirts, active wear as regular clothing, etc.  And really...not just looking awful, but feeling awful about themselves too.  Not everyone can handle freedom and not everyone wants that kind of limitless freedom.  In other words, cookie cutters work.

 

If this much freedom feels like utter chaos to you, if you are feeling overwhelmed and lost instead of free, or worst of all you just hate the way you dress and don't know how to change it, the best way to start is to find your own style icon and mimic the hell out of them until you get your footing.  One of two things will happen:  1.  Over time, you will isolate the key things you love about their style and begin adding in your own touches until you have a style that can be called uniquely yours.  Or, 2.  You'll continue just mimicking that style and go on living your life.  Occasionally people will say, "you like just like X," and you'll say, "thank you, I love her!" or more aggressively, "how dare you speak to me!"  Read the situation on that before responding.  By simply using a person whose style you admire, over time you realize what it is you like about their style, what works for you and what doesn't, and begin incorporating elements from others you admire or simply from great pieces you find until you find your look and what looks best on you.

Today's post is dedicated to a great style icon, Bernie Dexter, whose likeness features on this dress from her company.  Important to point out that her own icon was Bettie Page and yet she now has her own brand and style.  We all just need a little guidance now and then and there's nothing wrong with that.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Dress, Leg Avenue Petticoat, B.A.I.T. Shoes, Jessica McClintock Clutch.

Fall In Its Own Good Time

The fall colors have finally arrived and precisely on nature's own unpredictable schedule!  I think we may only get to enjoy them for a week or two, but they certainly are lovely.  Ivy City Co. recently had an amazing sale, everything was 40% off, so I bought the two dresses that had been on my wish list for three months at an amazing price. They're here just in time to wear to the Thanksgiving gatherings I have planned and I love them both, though if pressed for a favorite, I'd have to say it's this Nash dress in Sepia bows.  It's so pretty, perfect neckline and a corset back.  I adore it and can't wait to wear it 

Outfit info:  Nash Dress in Sepia Bows from Ivy City Co.  Shoes from B.A.I.T. Footwear, Cardi from YeMak