You may remember me talking about a teacher that I had years ago who was cute and petite and way too old to try to wear that plaid skirt outfit from Clueless, at least that was the general sentiment expressed by many of her fellow teachers. Well, I saw that teacher the other day and twenty years later she looks exactly the same. Most people take that as a compliment when someone says they haven't changed, and in a way it is. She's still petite, and she looks amazing, especially for a gal who is now in her 60s and had one of her grandchildren on her hip when I saw her. The trouble is she hasn't changed. Her hair is the same color, same cut. Her make up is the same. Her clothes are the same. Her style is the same.
Not three days after seeing her, I saw another teacher of mine. This one was a kindergarten teacher and she too had not changed a bit. In fact I'd say she'd aged even less, and her clothing style and hair cut remained exactly the same since the 1980s. I see this happen with so many people, men and women alike: at some point they get stuck in one thing and stay there.
For whatever reason, at some point many people decide that this is them at their best--best style, best hair, best weight, and they stay there. I know we all fear change, but it's really not such a bad thing in many ways. I'm just as guilty of snuggling in to my comfort zone and having a heck of a time getting out of it. The thing is that changes don't always pay off. A few years ago I took the plunge and bleached my hair blonde. It's something I've always wanted to try, so I did. All these years later, I'm realized I have really still trying to get back to my hair the way it was before the bleach.
However, along the way to getting back to the way my hair was, I have had lots of fun hair cuts and tried new styles. I have had lots of fun trying different colors. And lastly, after finally deciding to stop all heat styling and hair coloring and just grow my hair out, I have realized that it has become so grey that it's acutally never going to look the way it was before. I guess I could be sad about that or frustrated, but it's kind of freeing acutally. Now that that possibility has been elimated, I can just start over and do whatever I want.
Since I've been talking a lot about change, I thought I'd devote this part of the post to just sharing 5 tips on healthy change based on what I have learned not just from my little hair-journey but from all the many changes in my life in general over the past few years: 1. Take it Slow: You can start by making small changes, little by little. It's not always necessary to go whole-hog. In fact, studies have shown that making small changes and being consistent about keeping them yields far better results in the long term than the cold turkey/whole hog approach.
2. Dive Right In: That being said, sometimes you just have to jump in instead of waiting for the perfect time. In my experience, the "perfect time" rarely presents itself. Just pick something and get going, even if you're going slowly.
3. You're in Control: Whatever it is, you make the rules that work for you. You don't always have to put so much pressure on yourself or take pressure from others. Just do what you can handle and maintain for the best results.
4. You're Still You: No matter what changes you make, at your core, you're still you. Instead of viewing these times a attepmts to become someone entirely different, or even viewing them as successes or failures, try viewing them as opportunities to improve yourself and that includes learning from things that don't work out. You're not trying to be someone else, just the best version of yourself.
5. The Comfort Zone is Boring: You've done comfortable. You've done easy. They're safe and necessary for rest and recovery in the short term, but in the long term, they're boring. Easy and comfortable will always be there if you need to go back for break, but don't set up camp there. Leave your comfort zone and try living life for a while.
