Monday, May 30, 2022

An Unexpected Dress

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress
I didn't make any plans for Memorial Day weekend.  Frankly, it's only one extra day and I have been exhausted from sharing a single car to do what amounts to twice the activities we normally do.  Because of this, I planned to spend the three day weekend doing a whole lot of nothing.  The weather was perfect for it too, but when I went outside to sit on the stone patio or have tea under the trees, I couldn't get comfortable.
Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

Everything was shabby and overgrown and disorderly.  Unable to rest, I got up and got busy pulling weeds, sweeping, trimming hedges, cutting down thistles, etc.  We bought new plants and created some new little flower gardens.  It took two and a half days to set things in order, but sometimes you have to work hard before you can really relax.  So, with all the hard work done, we mixed up some spiked lemonade and headed out to the stone patio to relax and enjoy this seasonable (for a change) weather.  

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

When all the hard work and subsequent relaxing was done, I wanted to take a few photos in these lovely white wild flowers.  Selkie did a third partial drop of their Out of the Tower collection and I hadn't intended to buy any more dresses from Selkie's Spring '22 collection, but then I did. 

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

The Rapunzel print Marie Dress was on my wish list, and I had been looking at it on other sites for a couple of months, but the price tag was a little too high for it to make the final cut.  It just released on Selkie in this most recent third drop for $389, but with the holiday weekend, I found it on Aquelarre for $271  and decided to buy. 

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

It was my first time buying but it was a great experience.  There were only two left, but I got one and not only did I get a great bargain, but it arrived just three days after purchasing.  It also was wrapped with ribbon and a hand written note of thanks, which was so thoughtful and I love it when shops go the extra mile. 

This dress is lovely and a falls a few inches above my knee, so it will likely get more wear than my Marie Gowns which are floor length.  It also doesn't seem quite as poofy and full in the skirt, which I definitely love and the neckline doesn't seem as open as the gowns which is another plus.  The skirt is a top layer with ruffle and three printed layers of organza underneath.  The bodice is lined with opaque fabric so it's not see through, which I greatly appreciate.

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

Selkie has instituted a new size chart with this new collection and I think it fits so much better than the old.  Previously, the XXS was too tight and the XS was slightly big.  After consulting with Selkie, they recommended that I size down on the new chart and the XXS is now a spot on perfect fit.

Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress
Selkie Rapunzel Marie Dress

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Confront Confrontation

This pretty little dress was quite troublesome.  It has an amazing print, a price that can't be beat, and so much going for it except the awful empire waist.  Rather than avoid the dress, I immediately planned to address its troublesome area and I'm so glad that I did because I would have regretted not having this dress in my wardrobe.  While I wish that everything could always be perfect and never have any problems, if something as simple as clothing isn't this way, then all other matters in life surely won't be either.  
If there is one guarantee in this life it is that troubles will find you, no matter how peaceably you try to live your life.  Knowing that troubles are a certainty should make us more prepared to handle them when they arise and yet most of us are caught off guard by confrontation.  While I don't enjoy conflict or confrontation, I have learned that it is best to meet most situations head on and as soon as possible.
Most people in this world do not like the thought of confrontation and seek desperately to avoid it.  What they often find is that in their attempts to escape confrontation, they prolong discomfort, encourage tyranny, and become prisoners to their own fear and constant need to escape difficult situations.  Confrontation is not something to be avoided.  Before I tell you why confrontation should be embraced more often than avoided, let's briefly define confrontation.
If you think of confrontation as equivalent to fighting and fighting as equivalent to verbal or physical violence, this is where you've missed the mark on confrontation and likely why you are trying to avoid it.  A better word for fight is argument since we may have a heated discussion that accomplishes much without the use or need for any kind of violence.  Even so arguments, especially if you don't have much practice with them can be quite scary, but they actually perform a vital role in human relationships, not just romantic or familial relationships, but the way in which all humans relate to one another.  

Notice how in the animal kingdom, offspring are trained at a young age on how to "fight," even training each other with a certain yowl that a bite was too hard.  In this way their learn their own strength and the limits of others.  Human beings need this as well although we do not always need to use physical force as much of the rest of nature does.  While it's true that some confrontation leads to physical force, that's almost never the place to start and not a complete definition of confrontation.  Confrontation is addressing a problem.  While there are many routes to take here, the way in which you address the problem can, and should at least attempt to be, quite peaceful.  Peaceful confrontation is as simple as saying, "we need to talk about X."  Lay out your concerns, your questions, or your grievances and then work toward some resolutions, answers, and boundaries.
 
Unfortunately, there are people in this world that want control, power, chaos and they don't understand peaceful talks unless they are speaking to someone of equal power because with the exception of Jesus, no one gains power through peace. In such cases, there are only two options: assertive confrontation with the possibility of aggression, or repeated submission to an ever growing tyranny.  And, the most demoralizing thing of all is that should you manage to quietly endure a petty tyrant long enough to see them topple, you will quickly find that nature hates a void and that empty position always and will almost immediately be filled by a new tyrant-in-training, have someone new to avoid and placate, and so the discomfort continues.
Would it not be better, before the petty tyrant becomes a full-blown tyrant, to address the issues as they come up and perhaps through these initial confrontations establish some strong healthy boundaries before this person gets out of control.  And, if a peaceful solution (followed by an assertive solution if necessary) cannot be reached, then to walk away from the tyrant rather than to live under their ever-growing oppression?  It sounds simple, because it is simple and yet, I watch most of the people I know continually living with the discomfort, the oppression, rather than speaking up because they're "not comfortable with" (read that as afraid of) confrontation.  How do you overcome this fear?  The same way you overcome most fears, confront it. Confront confrontation.  
When you begin, try not to think of it in terms of winning or losing a "fight," but rather in learning something each time you address an issue.  Learn to listen, learn to stand firm, learn when to strike and when to be still, when to empathize and when to resist manipulation.  Start small and let it grow until you become comfortable speaking up, standing up, and dealing with issues instead of dodging them.  Even though it isn't easy to get comfortable dealing with issues and people, it will be worth the effort to have these burdens over and done with, off your back, instead of carrying the weight of avoidance around with you at all times. Tackling the tough stuff is part of an honest and peaceful life.  And if there is one thing I have learned it's that the sooner you deal with problems, the easier they tend to be solved. 

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Try a Little Red Dress

Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
All this talk of Little Black Dresses is very important, but I can't talk about wardrobe staples without mentioning Little Red Dresses.  Yes, black will work for any occasion, but there is something about red that makes it a must-have.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
Red is a standout color, an attention getter, and it scares a lot of women because they don't feel worthy of attention.  If that's you, let me kindly persuade you to give red a try, especially something as flattering as this Flutter Sleeve V Neck dress from Milreason. 
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
At least once in her life, every woman should be able to don a little red dress and absolutely own the room.  If you get only one LRD, let this Flutter Sleeve V Neck Dress be the one.  It has so much going for it and I feel amazing and still totally comfortable in this dress.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
With a fitted waist, flattering V Neckline and those glorious flutter sleeves, this little red dress has me in heaven.  Plus, it has pockets!  This dress costs only $35 so you can try it and love it without a big financial investment.  And the best part of all is that for a limited time you can save 10% off this dress with my code 10milmil.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
If you've fallen into the neutrals rut, it's time to be bold.  Don't shy away from color or attention.  Don't be afraid to standout, especially when it's in a dress that makes you look your most amazing.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length
Shopping Info: Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length-$34.99  Save an extra 10% with my code 10milmil beginning 5/24/2022 and only for a limited time.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail A-line Dress Flutter Sleeves V-Neck Vintage 1950s Party Dress with Pockets Knee Length


Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Little Black Dresses with Milreason

Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
There are few things in this world that make me feel more self-confident and just generally amazing than a great dress.  You know the kind I mean, the kind with the classic, timeless style and the amazing fit like this Casual Cocktail Dress from Milreason.

Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
It's been a minute or two since I've had a collab with Milreason, but I've never stopped loving their styles, and with at least a dozen graduations to attend this year, I'm more in need of a Little Black Dress than ever before.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
When it comes to LBDs it's all about the details.  This particular LBD has a lot going for it like cap sleeves with those little ties at the cuffs and the buttons down the front and the best part of all is that you can save an extra 10% off this beauty and the V Neck Flutter Sleeve dress I'll be showcasing tomorrow with my code 10milmil.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
Hello, pockets!  I can't get along without them, so I'm so glad that Milreason added pockets to this dress.  It also has a full skirt, and I added a ruffled black petticoat underneath for a little more fullness and because I can't resist those vintage vibes.  I'm feeling very Audrey Hepburn-esque in this dress.
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
While I staunchly believe that having a little black dress is the cornerstone of every well rounded wardrobe, I don't believe that gorgeous dresses have to break the bank.  This LBD from Milreason comes in at only $37 and that's before my promo code, so you'll save even more.
 
Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets
My promo code begins May 24th and is good for a limited time, so don't wait to make this LBD a part of your wardrobe and join me back here tomorrow to see my next dress in my collab with Milreason.

Milreason Women’s Casual Cocktail Dress Stretchy Cap Sleeves with Bow Tie Vintage 1950s Party Swing Dresses with Pockets

Monday, May 23, 2022

Much Ado About Mucha

Every now and then I come across a print that I positively obsess over; I just can't get enough.  This Mucha Print from Selkie is such a print.  There were plenty of nice prints in the Spring '22 collection, but the Mucha print is what really stole my heart.  I am a longtime lover of all things Alphonse Mucha, ever since I first saw a book mark with In Quest of Beauty on it, I've been a fan.  Years later I studied the great man while taking a class on the history of illustration and graphic design and I loved him even more.  
Czech artist Alphonse Mucha was born in 1860 and rose to fame in 1895 while living in Paris after creating the poster for the play Gismonda starring acclaimed French actress Sarah Bernhardt.   Bernhardt was so pleased with his work that that she ordered 4,000 copies of the poster and a six year contract with Mucha. It has been said that Sarah fancied herself as the true driving force behind Art Nouveau by so supporting Alphonse's career.
There are people in this world who make it a more beautiful place and Alphonse Mucha was truly one of those people.  From theater posters to Job cigarette labels, everything he touched became a work of art.  Not to mention that he revolutionized the idea of posters as art and forever immortalized French starlet of the stage Sarah Berhardt who led an amazing life in her own right, would surely have faded from all memory had she not been captured in Mucha's illustrated advertisements for her plays which are today still sold and displayed around the world one hundred years after her death. 
It would be another two years before I would finally travel to Paris, to see the great city with all its architecture, museums, and culture, including revered works of the Art Nouveau movement of which Mucha is surely the forerunner and poster child himself, pun intended.  
I took home many gifts for family, but for myself, I only took, photos, memories, and a single poster of Alphonse Mucha's Bieres de la Meuse, which hung in every home I occupied until it began to fray at the edges and I decided to put it away until I could have it properly framed.
And so, you see, my recent purchases of multiple Mucha printed dresses goes beyond a mere fancy for the newest fad.  It is in fact the fruition of a longstanding love affair with a time when flourish was conventional rather than extravagant, a time when skill and artistry were poured into one's work no matter how trivial it may seem.   It is the celebration of the brilliant works of a great artist in a wearable tribute.
As far as a quick dress review goes, let me just say that this dress has its issues, like there doesn't seem to be a strapped bra in the world that will not show with these wide set sleeves which are constantly falling down, and lots of buyers struggle with the bust to waist ratio, but all in all, there is a lot to love about this dress and I am willing to overlook the flaws. 
Decided Pros to this dress include that the cotton is much lighter then the Etoile dress, the print is stunning and the fitted waist and full skirt are incredibly flattering if you can manage to figure out which size you need and snag one before it immediately sell out.
If you haven't been waiting for them for seven months like me then my crazed search for these Mucha dresses may seem ridiculous but when you factor in how long I've been waiting an the fact that so many other people are still waiting and will perhaps never be satisfied, maybe this kind of obsession is just what it takes when it comes to Selkie.

Shopping Info:  Mucha Print Day Dress from Selkiecollection.com

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Delightful Dupes

In the midst of this puff dress craze brought on by a combination of Selkie and Bridgerton, I know that it has taken a lot of time and working a lot of extra hours for me to afford my few designer puff dresses.  It would be nice to have a few inexpensive pieces in the mix, and I think I've found some really great dresses for one-tenth the designer price, so I had to share.
There are a few shops on Aliexpress that aren't pulling that old trick of using stolen designer photos.  Nope, they're taking their own product photos and videos, which is rare on Aliexpress and highly appreciated as it made me feel like I could trust what I would be getting.
This silky pink puff dress has a really gorgeous Venus print on it and all the fullness of a designer puff dress.  Rather than lots of printed layers, there are two layers of white fabric lining this dress, which I suspect is one way of saving on the the manufacturing cost, but since no one is going to see those lining layers, I don't mind at all.
Is it short like the designer dresses?  Oh, my, yes.  I had to purchase a pair of peach bicycle shorts to wear under my puff dresses, because even with a belt, there is very little dress covering the bum, and since I'm so tall, I felt I needed a safe guard.  You can see them peeking out in the pic below.
 
For under $30, this dress is so pretty, but I have to admit that even after all these designers and dupes, I am still not a fan of the puff dress style.  It looks cute on certain body types, but still not as good as a dress with a waist can make every body type look.  I don't think a single one of these puff dresses looks better without a belt than with.

So, while this style doesn't have me in an empire waist state of mind, I am leaning in to the trend a bit, especially as summer approaches.  This particular dress has very soft, comfortable fabric, that isn't itchy or coarse, and the print is very pretty.  
It comes in straight sizes, just S-M-L, and I ordered the small, since that was all that was available.  It's one size up from my usual, but still fits pretty well, so pay close attention to those measurements if you decide to order.
If you have been desperate to try the puff trend, but don't want to sink $300 on a first time purchase of a puff, this little beauty is a great way to try the trend without spending a ton.  I've ordered a bunch of Ali dupes and inspired dresses and I'll be trying them all over the next few weeks.  I should have a full video to release by the end of May, but if you're impatient, I'll be posting reviews here as the dresses arrive.
Shopping Info: Venus Puff Dress-$30 from ZJoan Headband is old from Shein, Heels are old from ModCloth


Thursday, May 19, 2022

What's Underneath Counts

Caution!  Ginormously Long Post Ahead and it will contain underwear pics! 

Ages ago during a beautiful spring, just before Easter, I was shopping with a close friend on a busy Saturday, trying to find a pretty dress for Easter services.  All the dressing rooms were full and we both needed to try on a dress, so we decided to share a dressing room.  During the course of changing I noticed the sorry state of my friend's undergarments.  Old, discolored from so many washings, elastic exposed and well past its prime, I casually remarked, "Girl, we need to get you some new undies while we're here.  Yours have given up the ghost."  She laughed and replied, "I know, they look awful, but no one sees them."  

If my dear friend had self-esteem to spare I would have let things go at that, but she didn't.  This became more and more evident each time she tried on a dress, looked in the mirror, her shoulders would slumped and she gave a depressed sigh.  When she wasn't clad in a potential dress, she didn't look in the mirror at all.  It wasn't just that my friend didn't like her underwear, she didn't like her body and that made her not like herself.  Her underwear, was just a reflection of all that.

You've probably heard it said that looks don't matter, it's what underneath that counts.  Well, I'd agree to this statement on more than one level.  It is definitely more important to be a kind person than it is be a cruel beauty.  Yes, vanity can have a much nicer veneer than humility but just below the surface you may find that the appeal dissipates if there's nothing of substance to give it roots.  However, the opening statement of this post is only half the story.  When my friend said that what's under her clothes didn't matter because no one would see it, she wasn't being honest.  She saw it and she was depressed at what she saw.

Most women believe that pretty underwear is something you splurge on only when you're trying to impress your romantic partner.  Not so, ladies.  Who you're with should make zero difference on what you wear and that includes underwear.  You are reason enough and special enough.  You don't have to wait for someone else to find your body worthy before you show it some attention.  And you don't have to sacrifice comfort for style.  When I started writing this post, it was early March, pre-surgery, and I was wearing all my vintage style undergarments.  After my surgery, I was in so much pain from the incisions (yes, you can see one scar under my navel, I decided not to photoshop it out) that I needed comfortable clothes, and my Wireless Bras and Seamless Briefs from Forlest were the only thing that made me feel comfortable and pretty.  With so many affordable styles to choose from for coverage and support, this is one collaboration that was truly a life-saver.
The simple fact is that people most often dress in a way in which their outward appearance is a reflection of their inward attitudes about themselves and their lives.  That's why we very rarely see a very ill person walking down the street and say, "Wow!  You look amazing!"  No, we often say, "You look like you feel awful, please go home."  You look like you feel.  And to that end, not looking at yourself at all, as my friend did in the dressing room, says volumes more.  It says that you don't feel worthy of even your own attention.

I'm not an advocate of self-love because the end of that path is narcissism, but I am an advocate of self-acceptance because the end of that pathway is peace. In a Christian sense, (Is she really talking Christian morals while posting panty pics?! Uh, yeah, because all of my underwear covers more than the average swimsuit.  They're tasteful, modest, pretty, and they're important and it's completely on-topic.)  we are tasked with treating our bodies as temples (not as Idols to be worshipped, but as sacred and to be respected) as things that belong to someone else, someone whom we dearly love.  So we are to care for our bodies with all seriousness.  If you were taking care of a car for someone you really and truly loved and respected, would you trash it, neglect it?  Or, at the other end of the spectrum, would you pay a fortune for a great paint job and then put cheap fuel in it?  No, you would treat the inside and the outside with equal care.

In the same way that the right dress makes you feel beautiful, the right undergarments not only can make that dress look even better, but also make you feel beautiful no matter what's on the outside (I'm thinking of you, drab work uniform). There is something about wearing beautiful, feminine under garments that adds that little confidence boost, that small dose of self esteem because, no matter what you have to put on the outside, your uniform, or your work clothes, underneath it all you look beautiful and sexy as hell.  You know it, and because you know it, you'll act like it even if no one ever sees it but you.
Beyond all of this, it's time to accept that your body is not perfect, because no one's is. But, it is beautiful; you are beautiful.  You are worthy, and you have something to offer the world.  It's time to start acting like it and dressing like it.  Sometimes in taking that first step of choosing and then wearing beautiful under and outer garments, you're planting a seed of care and acceptance in yourself that will grow into confidence and esteem for the person your are and the body you have.  If all of this has struck a chord with you, then this is your time.  Buy something pretty to wear under your clothes.  And, I don't just mean one special thing.  No, buy a week's worth of pretty undergarments and make them your go-to on a daily basis.  Victoria's Secret is the pillar in pretty under things, but there are other options.  Adoreme.com offers sets and club pricing. Forlest is the queen of affordable comfort with wireless bras and seamless briefs that feel like a second skin.  PlayfulPromises.com offers vintage and modern pieces.  Is it pricey?  Yeah, a little.  Is it worth the way it makes you feel?  Yeah, absolutely.

Undeterred by my friend's casual dismissal of the sad state of her undergarments, after we had both selected dresses, I marched her (in a very kind way) over the lingerie department and helped her select three sets of bras and panties.  She was bashful about the whole thing, but in the end she conceded.  I saw her for lunch a week later and noticed that she sauntered into the restaurant, shoulders back, a pleased glow on her cheeks.  "How are you?" She began.  I eyed her for a moment; something was different about her demeanor.  "You're wearing the new underwear, aren't you," I asked.  "Yes!" she squealed, "and I love it!  It makes me feel so pretty!"  What a big difference made by something so basic.  Even now, all these year later I hear her tell other women about the importance of buying pretty under things and the difference it can make in the way you see yourself, even if no one else ever sees it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

A Belated Mother's Day Wish

This post is coming a little late, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about Mother's Day.  Suddenly, Mother's Day has become one of those holidays that desperate people are trying to make all-inclusive, all-encompassing, and in doing so, they rob it of any meaning or significance.  Over the Mother's Day weekend I saw multiple posts pop up in my feed about how we shouldn't say Happy Mother's Day or post photos of our families doing nice things for us, because we don't want to offend women who, for whatever reason, whether within their control or beyond it, are not mothers.  I also saw ads that desperately attempted to completely commercialize this holiday (as if the commercialization of Christmas & Valentine's Day wasn't enough).  The ads said, send mom quick cash for mother's day, and buy mom lingerie for mother's day, and featured products geared toward "Pet mamas" and "Plant mamas," etc, etc.  It's so absurd, and important to keep in mind that most of this is due to the advertisers creating these things to make more money.  Moms don't want cash or undies for Mother's Day. What they would really love is their family thinking of them and giving them their undivided attention for an afternoon; I'm sure they'll love that more than anything material.

In some ways I understand the need to exercise some control in our lives. Holidays like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day have an element of powerlessness to them and that makes us feel very vulnerable.  We must have certain relationships in place, (romantic for Valentines, and familial for Mother's Day) in order to take part.  We are then dependent on others to express feelings for us and make gestures of love.  And if those conditions are not met, we feel left out, rejected.  So, in order to feel in-control people create "Galentine's Day" and "Self-Love Valentine's Day," and now "Happy Mother's Day to Plant Mamas and Pet Mamas" so that everyone feels included.  But these holidays aren't about inclusivity.  They are by their very nature exclusive.  They take a certain thing, like being a mother, and set it apart in order to celebrate it.  

Not only does all-inclusivity rob the meaning from those holidays, but it adds no real value to the lives of those who in engage in it.  The thing is, in doing this, they're really only exposing themselves as being unfulfilled and insecure.  While it is true that there are people who will try to lord over you what they have and you don't, it's also true that if you don't want what they have, it won't bother you when they act like jerks and try to hold it over your head.  If people weren't insecure, they wouldn't be offended or feel rejected on a day not intended for them, in the way that I don't feel hurt when no one gives me a tree on Arbor Day because I do my own gardening, but also because I don't care about Arbor Day.  

This co-opting of a sacred term for menial purposes is insulting to every woman who has ever been in the trenches of pregnancy, the adoption process, and child raising.  It's akin to walking up to a WWII veteran who landed on the beaches of Normandy and saw most of his friends and fellow soldiers gunned down and saying, "I hear ya, man, I had a big argument on twitter and won, so I know exactly what you went through.  I'm a meme war veteran."  You see how laughable the comparison is.

I never minded celebrating Mother's Day even though I wasn't a mother until I reached a certain age, was in a committed relationship, and suddenly wanted to have a family.  Then each year that passed without children was slightly remorseful to me on that day, and it didn't help when I went out with a big family group to celebrate all the moms and we all wished everyone happy mother's day.  A certain grandmother turned, looked directly at me and loudly said, "Yes, Happy Mother's Day,.....well, to those of us who are mothers."  I was the only female present who had never had children.  (2 Fun Facts: 1. My grandmother and I are not close, can you tell? 2. Growing up, she made me cry a lot.)  That moment, the intention behind those words from someone who chose to be cruel,  hurt a little, but was really part for the course in our relationship. What really hurt was the attention drawn to the fact that I wanted a family and didn't have one yet.  I wasn't even very close at that point and I had to think about some things.

The hard truth is this:  People who care for plants aren't mothers.  People who care for pets aren't mothers.  If you don't believe me, ask your plant or your dog if they will visit you in hospice care when you're 80 or hold your hand as you leave this life, or raise their own children with the memory of what you taught them and all you sacrificed. *spoiler: they won't.  Mothers are mothers.  Mother's Day is for mothers.  And that is all.  Valentine's Day is about celebrating love.  You don't have to wait until you're in a romantic relationship to tell people how much you love them and celebrate the day, and you don't need a Galentine's Day to do it either.  That may be over compensating.  Love people and tell them so.  If you're not a mother and want to be, work on that.  If it's beyond your control, make peace with that.    

Mother's day is for mother's and if you aren't one, deal with it and then make this holiday about other people, about celebrating the mothers, grandmothers, step-mothers, etc. in your life instead of celebrating yourself.  Don't change the day until it loses all meaning, change yourself until you find the meaning in it all.

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