And So, There is Snow

Here are a couple of photos of what the view from my window is like.  Yes, I did use a window overlay just for the complete effect.  Suffice to say that it's still winter and I'm glad to have this little arsenal of photos from warmer times to use on days like this.

Snow, snow, snow.  I woke up to a winter wonderland and the snow has been steadily falling all day.  My little family and I have been curled up in the family room by the fire all day.  We've done some reading, some drawing, and I believe there have been a few mines crafted today as well.  It's also been the perfect day to do a little writing.

So many of my techy gadgets have been on the fritz that I remember why having a blog was so much nicer than videos.  One update on my laptop and the editing program is so glitchy I can barely work.  And for no discernable reason the camera on my phone has stopped working properly making editing really difficult before the glitchy update and nearly impossible after it.

It's so much nicer just to sit here and write while watching those big fluffy flakes falling outside, pausing every paragraph to wrap my fingers around a hot mug of my favorite tea, dunk a few little tea biscuits, and enjoy the day lost in thought.

We're on the home stretch now, as far as winter weather goes.  For the most part I'm white knuckling it as I do each year waiting for warmer days, but every now and then, and especially on days like this, I have a vegetable stew simmering, a loaf of sour dough bread rising, and I can sit back and appreciate the winter.

Dress is old from Rock Steady and shoes are from Bettie Page

Cherish the Calm

The new year has dawned and I still have a little bit of hope that things will straighten up and turn out alright, the greater part of me feels like the world is in a tailspin and there's no pulling up.  That's for the world at large.  Personally I'm trying very hard to have order in my life, to make things better however I can.

After the calm comes the storm.  I suppose that's the reverse of how that old saying goes but for me it's not a matter of weathering the storms but expecting them.  It's that sense of unease when things are too quiet.  (This dress by the way, was one of my freebies from J.ING.  I'm so disappointed that they ended the $100 prize for submitting reviews!)

Anytime I get a nice little break from work or life in general it is immediately followed by a tempestuous season of high activity the likes of which a few days preemptive rest have barely readied me for. 

That's why I take my peace and quiet so seriously.  I know they won't last and if I don't make the most of them, I won't make it through the next storm with my health and sanity intact.

Right now I am in the middle of one of my busiest, and most physically demanding weeks of the year, so I am thankful for every morning I slept in, every healthy meal I took time to prepare, every quiet moment spent in reflection, staring out a window lost in thought.  I'll just have to hope that it's enough to get me through this crazy week so I can rest again and prepare for the next one on the way.

Shopping Info:  Melissa Black Bow Tie Dress-$69.99 from J.ING

Here in the Stillness

**I wrote this blog post in late summer/ early autumn of 2019.  I had no idea that in just a few short months everything would change and I would be spending so much time at home.

I'm trying something a little different today.  Lately I've been having trouble writing posts for the blog.  Every time I sit down to write, something comes up to distract me.  It's maddening.  So, today I've invested in a nice pair of ear plugs and I'm testing them out in a room filled with booming music and chattering family members.

 

The world we live in today is filled with distraction, filled with noise.  To tell the truth, I hate it.  I always have.  Even as a child I wasn't the sort to constantly have the television on, music playing and be talking on the phone.  One of those things at a time was more than enough for me. 

As an adult I tried having roommates several times but I hated it and my desperate need to be alone and get some quiet always drove a wedge between my mostly extroverted (or maybe just normal) roommates and myself.  People don't take it kindly when they see your light on as they're coming up the driveway and then instantly see it shutoff when they slam their car door.  They took it personally, but they shouldn't have.  It wasn't about them; it was about my need for silence.  I finally gave up on having a roommate and lived alone for a number of years.  

You might be tempted to think that living alone would create an imbalance and I would need to fill some of that silence, but instead it only grew.  No music in the car, entire days spent without television or phone calls.  I was learning to be alone with my thoughts.  I was learning to process everything so that I wouldn't rely on something to distract me as a form of self medication.  It's not good for people to be alone too long; we're social creatures after all, but neither is it good for us to be constantly busy and distracted by interaction and noise.

Eventually I had a family and I quite enjoyed all the noise that came from busy, playing children. Both my children were very verbal at an early age.  My oldest daughter was speaking in full sentences by her first birthday and never tired of talking about anything and everything.  I found her to be fantastic company and I never once asked her to stop.  I even enjoyed the noise from squalling fighting children, which happened occasionally, but was rare.  And yet, the television, music, and phone still didn't feature much in our lives.  That is a different kind of noise.

As I mentioned, it is best to stay between the extremes of isolation and socialization and constantly having something in front of your eyes or in your ears entertaining you.  It prevents you from dealing with your faults, processing the hurts, learning what went wrong so you can avoid those mistakes in the future and basically just keeps you in a state of homeostasis—no growth, no change, no life.

Life is so very short.  I don't want to waste a single second of mine, not my very brief years with my children, not my years of being strong and healthy, not my twilight years.  I hope when I'm older you'll still find me out here, walking in the woods, enjoying the silence, or curled up in a rocking chair reading a story to a roly-poly grandchild.  With only the crickets, and our own laughter filling the air.

Shopping Info:  Hell Bunny by Vixen dress is old, Cardi, Tights, and Steve Madden Boots are old

Sometimes You Have to Improvise

Have you ever wanted something you just couldn't get?  What do you do when that happens?  I've found there are three options at moments like this: 1. Give Up, 2. Keep waiting and trying, 3. Improvise.

As far as option 1. goes, there's a time and a place for giving up, but it shouldn't be the default setting when it's something you really care about.  Option 2. is usually the best way to go, but I'm a firm believer that it's ok to give option three a try while you wait.

It very often happens that I either can't find or can't afford a style I'm looking for and I have to come up with a creative solution to achieve the look I want.  Sometimes I come up with something I like even better than the thing I was originally seeking, and sometimes my improv'd look just doesn't satisfy but it's always fun and I love the challenge.

Way back in the last year times, I was searching for the Sea Shanty Singing dress by RockSteady, but I was having no luck.  During that search, I found a RockSteady skirt and a romper and decided to put them together to make a little improvised version of Sea Shanty until the actual dress turned up.

So, my little romper and skirt set was fun, creative, and close enough to tide me over for a while until Sea Shanty turned up, which it did eventually, and then I passed on the romper to a fellow fashionista and kept the skirt for future use.  The end.

Sea Shanty Singing: How to Find Your Unicorn Dress

I thought a little something red, white, and blue would be appropriate and patriotic on this Independence Day.  Ok, be honest, is this dress on your unicorn list too?  If it is, don't give up.

This has been the summer of unicorns.  I don't know exactly why or how, all I know is that every single dress on my long wished for list has been turning up on resale sites either new or very reasonably priced and in decent condition.  Is this just the summer for clearing out closets or am I amazing at finding those missed opportunity dresses?

I'm not exactly sure, but just in case it turns out that I'm amazing at this, let me share a few tips with you on how I track down those hard to find dresses.

1.  Write it down  When you see something you love in the stores or if you missed it, make a note of the name, brand and shop, and type of style it is.  For example this dress was called Sea Shanty singing by Rock Steady sold by ModCloth and is a navy sailor dress with a red sash.  So, each time I search I use things like Sailor Dress, Rock Steady, ModCloth, Sea Shanty.  Mix it up and eventually something will pop up.

2.  Search Multiple Marketplaces  Don't limit yourself to just one hunting ground.  Check any places second hand things are sold.  Ebay, ThredUp, Facebook--not just the BST groups but the general marketplace as well.  I found one dress on my list that was selling for $75 everywhere else for $10 new with tags.  The trick was that it wasn't in a closed group but in the marketplace and under a very generic search term that I just tried out of frustration and it worked.

3.  Be Flexible On Sizing  If you really, really want a dress, and can't seem to find it for ages, but then it turns up in a bigger size than you wear, consider buying it and having it tailored to fit you.

When it comes to tailoring, it's usually fairly simple to take a dress in by a size or two and a really skilled tailor can do it in no time at all.  The only trouble is that you can only size down.  Unless there is some spare fabric lurking somewhere on that dress, there's usually no way to make a dress bigger.

4.  Be Patient  It takes time to find that perfect dress that slipped by you and this is where be a little OCD pays off.  If it's something you really want, scan the resale sites once a week (heck, do it once a day if it brings you peace of mind) but you may be in it for the long haul.  It can take months or years for a dress to turn up in the exact size and color you're searching for, but if you keep at it, chances are highly in your favor that you will find it eventually.

5.  Send Out an ISO S.O.S. The fashionista community is pretty freaking awesome when it comes to ISO's  (a post all about this coming soon!).  There are so many awesome people out there who love great fashion just as much as you and I, maybe more, and they are more than happy to help by tagging you in a post when they either have the dress you're looking for and are ready to part with it or if they've seen it out there and are more than happy to share that info.  It's happened for me a couple of times this summer and God bless them for their kindness; I couldn't have done it without them.

So, if you've had something on your unicorn list for ages now, don't give up.  Keep searching and it is bound to turn up.  And by the way, if you'd like a little help, drop me a line in the comments with all the details on your unicorn dress and I'd be more than happy to help.

Shopping Info:  Sea Shanty Singing Dress is old by Rock Steady Clothing and from ModCloth, Hat from: SHEIN, Lobster Bag from Amazon