Time to Tone it Down?

Is your style is getting you a lot of attention, but none of it is the kind of attention you want?  Maybe it's time for a change.
Recently on a vintage style fan group, someone posted  the following question:  What do you do when someone makes fun of your style?

The message boards lit up with things like, Tell them to F#$k off!, They're not worth even thinking about, I feel ya, People are going to stare and I don't give a $h!t, Be you!  Originality just scares people, I bet they have no sense of style whatsoever, etc, etc.  

The internet can be a great place where like-minded people support you, but shouldn't at least one person have asked to see this gal's style before encouraging her to press on?  No one did.  They all told her she should just keep doing what she was doing, which just happened to be something that had hurt her.  

 So this was my response and I want you to hear me out:

"This probably isn't going to be a popular thing to say, but sometimes it's worth listening to those views to see if you need to tone your style down a little bit. It's possible that this person is just being horrible/jealous/rude/the-worst-person-ever, but if you find it happening more and more, it may be time to ask some people who love you if your style needs some work. Your clothes shouldn't overpower or distract people from who you are, they should enhance who you are. If your style is distracting people from the real you, maybe you've gone too far. Just a thought."

Now of course, saying such a thing can cause all kinds of outcry from a group that judging by the amount of expletives in their comments before reading what I had to say, lives their lives in a state of offense.  She shouldn't have to change!  How dare  you suggest such a thing!!  I say it because we're talking about clothes here.   I'm not asking her to change who she is.  When it comes to fashion it truly is ok to tone it down, scale it back, or if it comes down to it, get rid of it completely.  Because maybe what you think your style is saying to the world is not at all the message the world is getting, so why not change that until it truly is you that the world sees and not the crazy crap you put on your body?

This is a real person...just walking by my office,
probably thinking she looks awesome!

So often today, the message is "You're perfect just the way you are."  Well, the truth is, you're not.  You're not even close.  You need work.  We all do.  And I don't just mean a little tweak here and there, I mean serious work.  Constantly for a while and then regular maintenance for the rest of your life coupled with the occasional overhaul.  And that goes for your entire being: body, soul, spirit, and style.

You're constantly changing.  What worked for you at 19 likely won't work so well at 29, 49, 89.  And that's ok!  That's maturity and wisdom, and experience and a million other things constantly moving and changing and they all make you you.   I cringe as much when I see a 40 year old woman reading trashy teen fiction as I do when I see a mature woman wearing teen clothing, or an adult of any age who says "I don't like to eat vegetables."   Growing up means doing what's best for you, even if you don't particularly care for it.  

January is a time of new beginnings.  We're all geared up to start over or push ourselves out of our comfort zones.  So, if you've gotten stuck in a style rut that's getting you all kinds of negative feedback, maybe it's time to change.  Ask someone whose style you admire or simply who loves you what they think of your style and if it's time to tone it down.