The Importance of Community

Since today's outfit features one of my favorite ModCloth styles, the Community Brunch Dress, I thought it would be a great time to talk about the importance of Community.  I'm not sure the majority of people on this planet feel like they fit in, but everyone actually does fit in to one group or other and it's a good thing too because community is something we all are in dire need of.  In my opinion, the ranking for basic human needs should go 1. Food/Water, 2. Shelter, 3.  Clothing, 4. Community.

I've lived in several other countries and I have noticed that when it comes to community, America in general and suburban/rural America are really lacking in this area.  In short, American schedules are filled to the brim with busy nothings and there's very little time for meaningful connections; it's just not programmed into our culture.  My theory is that because this country was founded and then westwardly expanded by people who were constantly leaving all their family behind and learning to be isolated, we sort of lost that priority on family and friendly gatherings that is still so prevalent in Europe and Japan.  It's just a theory, but I have noticed that some cultures are programmed for success when it comes to socializing.

At the level of individual responsibility, some people have an amazing ability to connect with others.  They do this easily and often and their lives are filled with friends; if you're like me and you maybe make a friend once a decade or so and have been told a more than a handful of times just how much people immediately hated you the first moment they saw you and then only eventually warmed up to you if given enough time (but, seriously I don't usually have the time), then building community is a much, much harder task.  It's harder, but it's not impossible.

The easiest place to start now adays is the internet and as someone who is extremely shy and for some reason which I have yet to uncover, also usually perceived anywhere from stuck-up to hateable at first sight, and who also has very fringe tastes and hobbies, the internet offers the greatest pool of possible like-minded individuals.  I really love all my online groups because they remind me that not only am I not alone, that there are in fact lots of really wonderful people all over the world who love and get excited about and want to constantly talk about all the same things that I do.   While this is a great place to start, Don't stop at the virtual world because online friends can't replace in-person tete-a-tetes, plus the virtual world gets really ugly way too often.

Internet friendships can really only go so far.  As someone who has been blogging for nearly ten years and has read her fair share of nasty YouTube comments, usually posted by people who consider themselves experts because they Consume a lot of content and actually create Nothing, I can tell you that the internet is not a true reflection of what friendship and community can or should be.  What we all need more than anything is real human connections where we get together, in person preferably, to talk, laugh, share, complain, commiserate, and just generally be a witness to another human being's life and have them be a witness to ours.  A witness, not a critic like the internet seems to produce en masse.  This can be at work, church, school, where ever people gather.  If it's a place like church or school and just showing up doesn't really yield friends, get involved.  Volunteering or joining groups within these organizations opens the door for more one-on-one time and getting to know people suddenly gets easier when the group gets smaller.

Family, family, family--I cannot stress this enough.  When the whole culture seems to be in favor of "cutting people out of your life," at the slightest disagreement, I think we need to go the opposite direction.  Keep your family close, overlook the disagreements,  forgive the hurts as much as possible, and make time for your family.  They really are meant to be the first and most important community we experience, so push aside a few busy nothings to have lunch or a phone call with your parents, siblings, children, aunts, or cousins.  

We need people in our lives; we need community.  Not just like-minded people but totally unlike minded people whom we don't have to agree with to love and respect.  We need to share in their lives and have them share in ours, the triumphs, the failures, the fears and the hopes, to inspire and encourage each other, challenge and accept each other.  No matter who you are, where you live, or what you love, surround yourself with people you love, build your community.

Outfit Info:  Community Brunch Shirt Dress in Corgi Print by ModCloth is old, ditto on the Qupid Heels, Cardi is from YeMak