Letting Go of Busy Nothings

I've let a friendship go recently.  I've written about a few companions that I have parted ways with over the years, but this one was a little different.  Relationships fall away for a number of reasons, disagreements and distance being the most common for me, but this time we parted over...distraction.  

I still love my dear friend, but for the last year or so that we hung out, she was always distracted during our visits.  Always something else, either working from home (could hear the keys clicking the entire time when I spoke and could tell she wasn't listening, but noticed she stopped typing while she was speaking) or was driving somewhere, in a rush, and focusing on traffic, or brought a project to our meet ups so that there was no eye contact and a lot of disinterested mmhmms in response to my words.  

Once in a while wouldn't have been an issue, but when one person is constantly distracted by being in the middle of something else, it really lets the other person know they're not a priority.  Eventually, I (rather childishly) felt like if my friend didn't have to prioritize me, I didn't have to prioritize her either.  So, I started doing other things while she was talking.  Do you know what happens when both people are distracted and disinterested?  The friendship dies a quiet death.  And I share blame, which I fully own and admit.  It was stupid of me and I regret it.

They say we live in a busy world, but if I'm being honest, most people I see are deeply invested in busy nothings.  Scrolling social media and playing video games isn't genuinely busy, it meaningless distraction.  As a mother to grown children I want to rip the phones out of the hands of young parents and beg them to pay attention, this time with their babies is so short and everything on the internet is so fake and stupid. 

 I was blessed enough to attend four Thanksgiving celebrations this year and at more than one of them I walked into an entire room full of people all sitting silently on their phones.   I didn't even bring my phone; I wanted to enjoy the people, the food, the fellowship; I was in the minority.  As certain family members get older I am very much aware that this time could be the last time.  Social media?  It's there and it's meaningless, but it's so incredibly addictive, so that's what everyone wants to do all the time.  They're too distracted, too "busy" to see it all slipping away.

It's possible that my friendship will be renewed one day.  And I hope beyond hope that my family members and all those parents of young children will wise up before that time is lost forever, but the choice is not mine to make for anyone but myself.  For myself, I'm putting together a little internet fast.  For that I'll give up social media, shopping, the whole damn thing.  I'm still ironing out the details, but the time of changes and resolutions is just around the corner and this one has been weighing on my mind so much I think it's time to dive in.