Moments of Autumn

I absolutely love that moment when you know summer has peaked and autumn is on the way.  It's that moment when you step out your door to a chill in the air and instinctively reach for a sweater before turning the kettle on.  For me and my little neck of the woods, that moment is here.

Outfit Info:  Classic Dress in Tiny Woodland Print by Son de Flor is thrifted. Shoes from B.A.I.T., Cardigan is from YeMAK.

The Work's Already Done

    There's a hierarchy in the fashion world just like in any other and people who copy others' styles, buy the outfit on the mannequin or the store photo are met with disdain and considered to be lower tier.  God forbid you take inspiration from others, No!  Everything must be totally original.  I've always hated that stigma, because it limits fashion to only those with the creative flare for it.  Some people just aren't gifted in that way or interested in trying to be, but still want to look good, and there's nothing wrong with that.

    The outfit you saw on TV or in the product photos was designed by a professional stylist.  Why would you want to compete with that?  If nothing else, I am drawn to a piece sometimes based solely on the way the shop or an influencer styled it.  I don't need to reinvent the wheel, someone else has done all the work for me.  Particularly when I'm trying something I don't have a lot of experience with (See my post about the baggy silk blouse) Wearing it the way you saw someone else style it can be a great way to introduce something new into your wardrobe.  

    Now, I will say that I typically view that outfit as a starting point and once I'm more familiar with the way the piece fits me and works with things in my existing wardrobe, I always branch out and wear it in my own way.  Take this Postmark Bicycle print dress from Anthropologie that I thrifted last summer.  Jessica Day and Anthropologie already styled it for me so beautifully, so why do I have to come up with something else?  Over time I might, but right now, I love the way it looks with the shop and New Girl styles blended together and that's the way I've been wearing it for the past year without feeling any shame or need to try something else.  If a thing works it works and it's ok if someone else did some of the work to make you look good.

Outfit Info:  Thrifted Anthropologie Dress, YeMAK Cardigan, Bettie Page shoes are old from ModCloth

A Better Baseline

"How we present ourselves is indicative of so much in our lives: our state of mind, our confidence, our level of self love and expression.  Dressing well is not about showing off or flashing well or trying to impress other people.  Dressing well is about a baseline of self-respect."  Jennifer L. Scott.

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times: "I wish I could wear nice clothes, but I'm not spending the money until I lose this weight."  Those must be some of the saddest words ever uttered.  As someone who once struggled with her weight for many years, I can tell you that when it comes to dressing well most people have it all backwards.  Everyone wants to wait until they're "perfect" before they invest in themselves, but in reality, if you'll care enough about yourself to invest in yourself first, you'll care enough to make other positive changes about yourself.  A person who doesn't value themselves enough to dress well, probably doesn't value themselves enough to eat well, rest well, exercise well.  Dressing well, just like all of those other things, aren't about trying to earn value, or waiting until everything about you is perfect so you have permission to value yourself; it's about choosing to have a baseline of self-respect and dressing/treating yourself in a way that reflects that.  

Outfit Info: Bernie Dexter McCall's Sewing Pattern Dress is Thrifted, Cardigan is from YeMak

Paris with Bernie

There's really nothing like a Bernie Dexter dress.  I'm so glad that this brand made a comeback!  To be perfectly honest, I have been on a bit of a Bernie-spree, searching for and snatching up my favorite pieces from the past decade, and this thrifted Paris dress is a long time love of mine.  I finally took the plunge on it because the longer I wait, the more difficult it becomes to find these dresses. (Little side note here, Bernie Dexter is currently selling some deadstock on her website, so you can find a few of the old styles there.)  This one was pricey, almost the same as buying it new, but it was in my size and pristine condition, and as I mentioned, it's getting impossible to find.  So, I bought it, and I love it.  Bernie has never let me down.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Dress from birthdaylifevintage.com  Find other dresses at BernieDexter.com or BettiePage

A Spending Diary

As the new year began, I was thinking about and by logical extension talking more about my on-going efforts at becoming more balanced in my spending habits.  If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know that I occasionally talk about wanting to curb my spending.  Over the years I have tried a number of methods to rein in my shopping, and have had success in all spending areas but one--dresses.  In the end, I find that I really do love dresses and it really has been a lifelong dream of mine to have a massive dress collection.  I've also learned that I don't make connections with people easily or often and tend to use my dress collection to fill that void, so starting to form more and better relationships has been a co-goal this year.   The year is slipping by me and I can't say I've had many triumphs socially, but I continue to try. 

I know it may seem hard to believe, but I can stay on a strict budget when it comes to anything but dresses. My home has always been quite moderate, my office has always been orderly and clutter free, but when it comes to my collection of dresses...well, it's safe to say it can be overwhelming.  Since most of my efforts to stop spending have had mixed results at best, I thought I would try a different approach by instigating a Tracking year.  Instead of setting a budget, I decided to just spend 2024 writing everything down.  You can't change habits if you don't acknowledge them.

When it comes to health coaching, the most common place to begin is with a food diary.  Coaches often require their clients to write down every bite they eat for two weeks or more and then go over the data together.  Many people with health issues aren't really aware of what they're eating and have this general idea that they "eat healthy."  If they're very conscientious and honest about writing down every bite, they often find not just the culprits (i.e. lots of sugar or caffeine) but also the patterns (i.e. cravings occur at certain times of day or around certain events/stressors).  

The first step to really being honest about a problem is to focus up and examine it.  Once these patterns emerge, it's much easier to get a strategy in place to address them.  So just like the food diary, I decided this year once again to keep track of every penny.  Not only am I tracking my spending, I have been tracking the days, times of day, and the feelings surrounding each purchase in order to identify my patterns and come up with strategies for success that help me cope with stress and don't involve spending money.

Wow, has it been eye-opening.  And incredibly helpful.  For years I had a really terrible habit of not looking at how much I was spending.  I didn't want to know because I knew it was too much and if I didn't look at it, I could pretend it wasn't that bad or at least plead ignorance.  But, deep down the guilt was always there because while I didn't have a number to acknowledge, I did know it was too much.  Writing it down really has helped me to be aware of my patterns and keep me accountable.  

Again, I haven't stopped spending, because trying to do a No-Buy Year or even a Low-Buy Year when I haven't built a foundation of good habits and self-control in this area would be like deciding to take up jogging by starting with a marathon on day one; in other words it would be a recipe for certain failure.  But being on a Tracking Year felt like a good step in the right direction. As proof of this progress, I just completed a 40 day No-Buy challenge.  That's something I don't think I could have done just a few years ago.  The secret to reaching any goal is to just keep moving toward it.

Now that I have put in the time to build that foundation, a Low-Buy year feels more doable, and a No-Buy year may be on the horizon.  I may not be perfect at it, but as long as I am continuing to improve, I will eventually reach my goals.

Outfit Info:  Caterina Blackwatch Check Swing Dress