The Pajamafication of Style

Have you noticed that there is less and less style out there? Where are the people with style? Why is every one out there walking around in some kind of co-opted sleep or athletic wear when they are neither sleeping nor athletic? Why? My two favorite fashion snobs recently referred to it as the pajamafication of America. In other words. People are trying to make laziness and apathy seem like a style, but it's not.  

Everywhere I go everyone looks the same. No matter the weather; no matter the occasion.  The dress code in this country is: Ultra (almost shamefully) Casual.  I went to a funeral a few weeks ago and was surprised to be the only one  not just wearing black, but dressed up in any way.  I've been to a few weddings like that too.  Church? Check.  Holidays? Check.  Work? School?  A nice dinner out? Check, check, and check.  No one dresses up for anything and that stinks, because it's not an income issue; it's an effort issue.  

Not only does no one dress up, no one dresses out.  No one dresses differently from anyone else anymore either.  Where are the rockabillies, the punks, the mods and twees?  Where are the goths, steampunks, cowboys, and skaters?  Coquettes, preppies, anyone? Where are all the new fashion groups people are inventing?  Where is anyone wearing anything other than disgusting athlesiure or sloppy jeans and tees?  I'm going to say this again because it bears repeating: Finances are not the explanation.  Creativity and effort are free.  A lot of the very best fashion niches were based on having no money and still creating outfits that had maximum self expression.  

Where'd they all go?  And, not on social media, it's easy enough to fake style there.  Where are the fashion subcultures, the interesting, self expressive people in real life?  I'm beyond bored with jeans, t shirts, athleisure slop and the complete lack of effort that goes into wearing them.  (Although, I will say that it's much more physically demanding to wiggle into stretchy pants than it is to just slip on a dress, so the effort saved is mainly...mental? spiritual?)  If you see the any of the niches that used to say I am me, I'm unique, and I want to I express it, will you tell them I'm looking for them, because I really miss them.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Polka Dot Dress and Petticoat are thrifted, Bag is vintage, YeMak Sweater, B.A.I.T. Heels

New Bernie? Bingo!

I am so glad that Bernie Dexter has kept her business going!  It would have been such a great loss to the vintage fashion community if her dresses went away.  I had my eye on this Kelly Dress in Bingo Card print from Unique Vintage for several months, and waited for one of their amazing sales so I could bring it home.  Golly, am I ever glad I did, this bingo card print is even better in real life and the Kelly is one of my favorite styles.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Kelly Dress in Bingo Print from Unique Vintage

 

Hot Off The Frill

Summer is here and it's time for all those lovely traditional pastimes that I enjoy so much.  I hesitate to label them as American because so many places in the world do these same things in warmer weather such as cooking outdoors.  One of my favorite summer recipes is something I picked up while we were living in Japan.  Fire up the grill and toss on some sukiyaki (thin sliced marbled ribeye), let it cook just a minute or two on each side until crisp and then serve with raw cabbage leaves cut into pieces and drizzled with a soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, crushed red pepper, and sesame oil sauce.  That's it.  So simple, so light and delicious, and perfect for summer.  

In honor of grilling season, I thought today's outfit should be this Bernie Dexter On the Grill dress that I thrifted last year.  I didn't see too many dresses come out in this style during Bernie's heyday, but I wish I had because it's so flattering!

Outfit info: Bernie Dexter Dress and petticoat are Thrifted, Heels by BAIT

When Bernie Met Jess

Not to be that girl, pun intended, but I was Twee before it was a term.  Before Bernie Dexter had a brand, and looong before Jessica Day set my heart aflutter with her dress/cardi combos on New Girl.  Before it was called "Twee" it was just loving vintage and wearing 1950s/60s dresses with cardis and flats or full skirts with a cute button down and some canvas tennis shoes.  My muses were Marlow Thomas and Audrey Hepburn to name a few, and I adored that style era so much, I sought out vintage pieces (none of which ever fit my modern frame) and even tried to track down vintage sewing patterns so I could make my own (also very unsuccessfully at first). However, thanks to fellow vintage lovers like Bernie and Jess, these styles became far more mainstream and easier for me to find rather than having to try to create my own from old sewing patterns, or risk destroying my true vintage pieces with overuse.   And for that I am forever grateful.  

It's always fun when two icons I love intersect and a Bernie/Jess combo has to be the ultimate in vintage/twee fashion.  While I don't personally own the exact dress in question, I do own a version that released at the same time and with the extra bows and flourish, I think it's even better.

For some reason, this particular Bernie/Jess dress hasn't really lost any of it's value over time.   Whereas I paid about $50 for mine, this other style still routinely list for $150-$200.  It's lovely, to be sure, but I suspect most of the value is in who wore it and when. Can't say I blame them for that.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Dress and petticoat are thrifted, Cardi is YeMak, BAIT heels, Amazon canvas sneakers

 

Times I Walked Away

Since my previous post was about highlighting my spending struggles, I thought it only fair to be transparent and discuss victories too.  I've been watching budgeting content in an effort to keep me motivated in 2026 and one habit that I decided to put into practice is: keeping a list of the times I walked away. It may sound strange, but writing down all the times I wanted to buy something and walked away instead (please note that today's photos are from a time I definitely did not walk away, but rather found a dress that has always been very pricey, even thrifted, for under $35) has really helped me to see that how far I have come at gaining self control and using discretion on my purchases. I've gone from constant impulse buys in every category to just the necessities in every area except clothes, and even then frequently walking away from things that just aren't worth it to me, no matter how low the price drops. 

 Rather than only looking at the totals for all the things I bought in a week or a month, which can feel like a tally of my failures, I can look at this list of all the things I didn't buy and see my successes as well.  For example, over Memorial Day weekend (you know, for the sales) I had a number of items in various carts.  Looking at just this thing here or there it didn't seem like a lot, but rather than immediately buying, I prepared my carts, looked at the total of everything together, and then waited until Sunday evening to purchase.  During that time I realized I didn't want to spend that much money.  I removed all the items I was buying just because it was a "bargain" and not because I really loved it.  I whittled a couple of carts down to half their contents, and the others I deleted altogether.   

In a more recent example, I needed, actually needed, some walking shoes.  They're a performance item and I found a pair with great reviews and had worn a pair in the past that I loved.  I went to buy, and found a great promo code...that only worked if I bought 2 or more pairs.  The shoes were originally $110.  If I used a promo code, it took two pairs down to $70 each.  But then I'd end up spending $140 and did I really need two pairs of walking shoes?  I thought long and hard, even asked a friend for advice on whether this was a good deal or just a gimmick.  In the end?  I found a NIB pair for $30 on a thrift site.  So, it was a win all around.

If I were to just look at the total spent on an ever continuing tally, it might not feel like a win.  But, if I look at how much I intended to spend and then didn't, combined with the fact that I had been waiting for this sale for weeks, delaying purchases to try to get a better bargain, and then took 3 days to think it through before buying, it seems like a total win.  Taking time to record the things I didn't buy or found at a bargain price is a great reminder of the fact that not only do I have will power and self-control, but I actually use them more often than I give myself credit for and that is a far better motivator to keep going than guilt and shame will ever be.

Outfit Info:  Anthropologie Maeve Star Turn Dress, YeMak Cardi, Amazon Flats