A Wuthering Heights Kind of Day

“I wish I were a girl again, half-savage and hardy, and free.”

~Wuthering Heights~

These days when the sky is covered in thick gray clouds, and the wind never rests, I think of the windswept moors of Wuthering Heights.  Maybe such a story of tragic romance, and such a bleak landscape should keep me indoors, but instead it sends me out to explore.  

Much like Cathy in W.H. I can't stand to be cooped up when the wide world is calling.  I don't exactly find her or any of the characters relate-able.  

For example, I've never been involved in a multi-generational love triangle that ended in tragedy for most of the nine people who had the same or very similar names.  

But, I can relate to those moments, those singular decisions (or indecisions) that unexpectedly take me further away from the very simple thing that I wanted. I can relate to being left in the fallout, reeling and wondering how did it come to this and how do I get back to that time before it all.  I suppose we can all relate to that though and that's why W.H. is such a classic.

I suppose all lives include some tragedy, some loss, but much like these dreary days that drive most indoors, we shouldn't shy away from the things that remind us of sad times.  

In the woods, along the streams, across the fields turned to gold and the oak trees gone to rust by these self-same icy winds; here I wander.  Here I remember and here I forget.

I love the way the world is different from itself from one day to the next.  I learn so much not just about the world but about myself as well.  

Something about being out here, insulates me from distraction and noise.  Here, I can process and reflect.  I find rest not only from the day-to-day, but from the past.

This is my space for unpacking all the things I carry, and laying down all the cares that burden me.  I spend so much time as my own worst critic, but here, I have learned to be kind to myself, to forgive myself, and slowly but surely, I'm working on forgiving others, all the Heathcliff's, the Cathy's, and all the rest.

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