Chasing Chelsea

I bounce back and forth between wanting a small fully utilized wardrobe and absolutely adoring all my many, many clothes and the endless options they create.  In the past year I've learned something about my brain and how it works that truly has been a lightbulb, making everything make sense.  

Oddly enough this epiphany came from a podcast on home design, not fashion or neuroscience.  The guest spoke about the psychology of our homes and how the "farmhouse/ greige minimalist/hyper awareness of the resale value movement appeals to people who are overstimulated and seeking relief.  They see the bareness, simplicity as a sanctuary from the world, exactly as our homes should be.  When presented in that light, I felt rather guilty for being such a harsh critic.  

The reverse then is true for me.  Generally speaking, I find the world very understimulating.  Every spralling Midwest town looks the same, everyone in athleisure, cars all some easy to resell shade of neutral, and all my days spent in greige cement buildings under florescent lights.  So boring.   

My brain craves new, interesting, beautiful, intricate, unusual, challenging, detailed, different.  It's why I shop so much, read four books at a time, and worked three jobs at once. Even the challenge of decluttering and living on a small capsule wardrobe is tied in to that cycle of something new, the next challenge. Then I get bored. My home and my wardrobe are naturally an extension of this.  I crave the hunt of a harsh to find dress, the challenge of alterations, the creative burst of styling it.  And then my brain wants to move on to the next hunt, the next challenge.   It's killer on my bank account if I'm not careful, but I've been this way my whole life; this is just how my brain works and it's unlikely to change.  However, it can be managed and knowing this about myself brings me a great deal of peace.

All of this has been a very circuitous way of saying, I've found another Bernie Dexter beauty from my ISO list.  This Chelsea dress in book print is one I almost never see pop up for resale.  I had to scour the BST groups, found a months old post, and had it shipped from another country to finally bring it home, but here she is and just in time for autumn styling.  No regrets.

Outfit Info:  Bernie Dexter Chelsea Dress in Books Print, B.A.I.T. heels, Vintage bag, Collectif Shrug

Roman Holiday Recreation

Travel was a very important part of my twenties and thirties.  At first I traveled for myself.  Then I traveled with my family.  Travel is an education, it's an experience that connects us with new places and makes home seem all the sweeter.  This phase in my life is more serious, less carefree.  My children's education, or at least my role in it, is complete, and travel, particularly international travel, has fallen lower on my list of priorities.  

It's been more than a couple decades at least since I was in Rome, but it was an experience I'll never forget for a multitude of reasons.  And, while I doubt I'll ever have the opportunity to visit that lovely place again, I can always see the sights and feel nostalgia while watching one of my favorite classic movies, Roman Holiday.  I cannot think of a single Audrey Hepburn movie that doesn't have stunning costumes and this film is no exception.  Princess Ann's casual travel outfit is absolutely darling and thanks to black and white film, we can imagine it was any color combo we want.

Personally, it seems more fitting with the story that a Princess wanting to keep a low profile would prefer neutrals in order to blend in, such as a white top, beige skirt, brown shoes and belt, and a navy scarf as shown in these iterations below:

I'm not exactly sure why, but I decided to try to create my own, inexpensive version of this outfit and I think I made out pretty well.  I forgot to roll up my sleeve--oof!--but it was the last of about two dozen outfits that I did on that particular evening and I was rapidly losing the last rays of sunlight, so I goofed.  I always make my priority finding clothes made of natural fibers, but it's just not always possible.  So, the top is cotton, the skirt is linen, and the scarf claims to be silk but feels more like polyester, but I love the final result and the entire outfit cost me less than $75.

Outfit Info:  Top-Hotouch on Amazon, Skirt-Grae Cove Linen skirt is thrifted, similar style is Belle Poque on Amazon shown in photo below, Scarf-NaSo Perfect silk scarf on Amazon, Woven Shoes from SheIn

Shy Butterfly

I don't know why I feel the need to write something/anything to go along with each post.  Chalk it up to the nature of an introvert; we're shy but we still want to be seen and heard in our own way.  And somehow, having a blog accomplishes that while maintaining some sense of privacy.  Is that odd to say that something on the internet is private?  The vast majority of people who "know" me don't know I have a blog and of those who do, I never give out the address or the name.  Some people find it, if they really want to, and that's Ok.  It's public but somehow private as well.  This blog has been active for almost 12 years and yet it's still a very small place.  I like it that way.  

Outfit Info:  Anthropologie Strapless Butterfly dress is thrifted, YeMak cardigan, B.A.I.T. heels

Fighting FOMO

Black Friday brought a bevy of fantastic sales on things I had at some point in the year thought of purchasing and now was ever so tempted to give in or forever miss out on these items' promises to finally make my life complete and at a special bargain price.  I so wish that buying stuff actually delivered on the promises they make, that feeling content and complete is just one purchase away.  I was fighting FOMO hard during the kick-off to holiday spending.  The Fear Of Missing Out is a normal human instinct and one that has driven mankind to pursue their goals, reach higher, go the distance, etc., etc throughout history. On the grand scale, life is a temporary condition and it can quite literally pass us by if we don't get the fear in us to make the most of it.  But, like all things there has to be some balance to it.  At some point, it's time to let a few things pass us by as we sit back and enjoy life a bit too.  The pursuit, the fear, can become addictive and all consuming.  The simple fact is, you gotta let a few go, opportunities and amazing sales alike.  That's become more difficult than ever in this age of constant advertisements of the life you could be leading if you only bought X.    

Growing up, I believed I was born into the wrong style era and suffered the emotional consequences, because I was too young to understand that there was nothing wrong with my body, and everything wrong with the trend of clothes I was trying to fit into.  As a result, if I did come across something that actually fit or even better, actually looked good on me, I would stock up so I could have nice clothing until I could find more on some far distant day.  Scarcity mindset got a hold of me pretty early on in life. 

Over the years my body changed and styles changed too.  There are now so many options for sizes, styles, and fits that I don't really have to buy in bulk when I find something that works because there are so many options.  I have a plethora of perfect-for-me pieces of clothing and yet I find myself still constantly searching.  What started out as a survival mechanism turned to a habit and an obsession.  It was only a few years ago that I realized that I spent most of my time searching for and acquiring more, but rarely ever stopping to enjoy what I already had.   It's been a stressful year and even thrifting has been a crutch I've leaned on way too much.

I've had mixed success with spending freezes and the low buy year hasn't been a total triumph but it hasn't been a total failure either.  I've managed to stick to thrifting everything except a few Black Friday purchases and even then walked away from about 70% of what I wanted to buy.  In light of all that, I've decided to just keep at it until this gets easier and I get better at it.  I really want to just take a break from shopping, wanting, searching, obsessing, from FOMO, from all of it.  I want to spend some time just appreciating what I have.  And I have realized that if I really want to be successful at it, I have to get off the internet.  With the holidays coming, I can't just stop spending altogether, but I can stop for a few days out of each week and make a plan to shut it down for a while in the new year.  That may mean pausing the blog for a while too, but I think it will be worth it if I can see it through.

Dress Up & Show Up

    I know so many people who absolutely ache to wear nice things but are too afraid to buck this excessively casual trend we're stuck in.  I also know that it's hard to stand out from the crowd, but to me it feels harder to be miserable following along with everyone else.  If you dress up you'll inevitably face scrutiny and questions like, "why are you all dressed up?" The implication there is that if you don't have a darn good reason you are probably just thirsty for attention or showing off.  

    Dressing well isn't about showing off; it's about showing up.  It's not about vanity; it's about value.  The science is in; how you dress affects your mood, how you carry yourself and how you perform in your work and relationships.  When you dress well, you're showing up in your own life.  It's about valuing yourself enough to dress like it.  Nothing more.  

Outfit Info:  Zaza Dress from Ivy City Co., Shoes from B.A.I.T., Handbook for the Recently Deceased wallet from Amazon