The Loft

As part of our home renovations, we've added on a bedroom and a loft so that our tiny home had a little more breathing room.  My idea for the loft was to create a very sunny, happy space for reading and tv watching.  I began collecting a few pieces that fit that theme and then put together an idea board to see how best to tie them all together.  This was my inspiration as we finished the construction and began the decorating:

Boasting the most windows of any room in the house, it is the coziest sunniest spot.  The yellow couch set from the idea photo is of the actual set that I own.  They're antique and a very unusual set as they have a strap that links them into a single couch or they can be split into two loveseats.  I found a very cheap vintage Aubusson rug at an auction and then had to figure out how to put these two pieces together.  That's where Spoonflower's Butterfly Damask wallpaper and Tea Biscuit paint came in very handy.  They really blend all the hues so nicely.  I had wanted to add a pink velvet accent chair to the mix, but there just isn't enough room up here, so that will have to stay on the idea board.

The lace curtains are vintage, and the shelving is filled with my knick-knacks and collections of vintage cameras, depression glass, and ceramics.  The room isn't quite finished yet, I haven't started putting things on the wall yet, or finished moving in all the accent pieces, but we're getting there.

Either Oar

As her junior year came to an end, my youngest daughter was debating leaving school early.  As she weighed the pros and cons, she often asked for advice.  As someone who actually did leave high school two years early in order to start university ahead of my peers, I can only give her the advice that my parents gave me when I was faced with this same decision. 1.  Every path you take will involve sacrifice.  This may be the wisest thing my folks ever said to me, because it gave me a sense of reality about the future.  Nothing will ever work out perfectly.  There is no such thing as a decision with only benefits.  Everything you choose means you will miss out on something else.  It's unfortunate and often creates difficulty, but the good news is...

2.  When it's time to leave, and you know it in your heart, nothing will stop you.  I have done my fair share of hemming and hawing when faced with tough choices, but when I left high school, I knew the things I would be missing out on, like prom, graduation, the senior trip, and I was a little bit sad about it, but I had outgrown my school and my friends and I felt like I was suffocating in that world.  Nothing I was giving up was enough to stop me from leaving.  The benefits outweighed the losses; I knew what I was giving up and I just didn't care.  When everyone else in my class was walking to get their diplomas, I was walking across campus taking night classes.  When they were on their senior trip, I was working 60 hours a week and taking classes on my lunch break.  When they were getting their first cars, I was moving out of my first apartment and across the world to another country.  It was lonely, it was difficult, it was exhilarating and challenging.  I didn't choose an easy path, but it was the only one I could live with.  Whether it's a job, a school, or a relationship, when you're ready to go, nothing will stop you.

In the end, my daughter has decided that she wanted to stay in school and graduate with her friends.  Given how much she was on the fence, this seemed to be the right decision for her.  As much as she wanted to do something new, she wasn't willing to give up all the milestones.  And what that tells me, is that leaving wasn't right for her.  If or when she's ready to walk away from the beaten path, nothing will stop her.

Somewhat along the lines of today's topic, I thought this Either Oar dress would be a fitting 'fit.  Plus, I love red for the chilly months.  This was a thrifted ModCloth piece with the lovely pun names we all miss so much from OG ModCloth.  The name reminds me of a personal mantra about the decisions we all must make.  I decided long ago that the choices between right and wrong aren't the difficult ones.  The decisions that are really tough are Right and Left.  Either this path Or that.  Both will have benefits and pitfalls.  Both come with sacrifices and opportunities.  Weigh out what matters most, what sacrifice you can accept.  Make your choice.  Live your life and try not to look back.

Outfit Info:  Myrtlewood Either Oar Dress from ModCloth is thrifted

 

The Beauty of Ordinary Days

In 2025 my posts have been confined to a single location: My home.  Different spots around the farm of course, but ultimately, all within walking distance of my front door.  The reason is two fold: 1.  I have become rather lazy about getting up early in the morning to take photos, much preferring to lounge in my robe until after sunrise when I change into my old work clothes to start my farm chores.  2.  We have spent every possible free moment in construction.  On the nice days we built with wood; on the not so nice days we built with concrete; on the bad days, well if it was too nasty out to work it was certainly too nasty to go out for photos. I tried at the end of summer to schedule a location session for some great new pieces I acquired for my birthday, but in the end we just had too much good weather and loads of work to do to spare a whole morning.

We intended all this work to give more space to our family in this tiny house, but before we could get it done, our oldest grew up and moved out. At the rate things are going, I'm afraid our youngest may be moved out too before we are all done, but we tried our best.

Almost every inch of this construction was done by my husband and myself.  Let me emphasize that:  Every. Single. Inch.  Squaring dirt walls by hand, hauling out fill, bringing back fill, pouring concrete, hefting cinder blocks, hoisting walls: we've done it all ourselves.  I grew up on a functioning farm, not the glorified petting zoos that most people call farms now, but an actual working farm, and I can safely say this has been the most labor intensive work of my life and yet the most rewarding as well.

There is an indescribable satisfaction that comes from making something new or restoring something old, especially something like this, which was in the home that dad grew up in and it has been rescued and moved to a home that, God willing, my grandchildren will one day spend many happy days in.

Autumn Impressions

I celebrated Autumn's arrival with a sweet group of ladies at a lovely tea party. Our hostess put so much thought and care into every detail, we felt truly special.  Amid laughter and the clinking of porcelain cups on saucers, we welcomed the changing season in style.  Those moments, those memories, are what keep us warm through the coldest winter days.

Outfit Info:  Impressionist Dress from Selkie, Shoes from B.A.I.T., Necklace is vintage Avon

Living Room Renovation

We spent the summer and autumn of 2023 making improvements to our house.  Feeling accomplished and enjoying the changes to our home, we wrapped it up just as the cold rainy season began.  Mr. Bleu was sitting in his chair on that first rainy day and I was at my desk when he suddenly turned to me and said, "I felt a drop." I looked over to see him rubbing the top of his head while looking at the ceiling.  Looking up we saw together our ceiling was sagging and dripping and a very sad realization set in that although moments before we thought we were almost done with our home repairs, but we were in fact just getting started.

Before we ever saw this house, a tree fell on the roof.  The real estate agent disclosed this (only after we asked about the obvious repair to the ceiling) and assured us that it was properly taken care of.  Once the rain subsided on this particular fateful day years after we had signed on the dotted line, we climbed up to the roof to discover that the opposite was true.  All the work done was purely cosmetic and the structure was beyond compromised; it was rotten.  With winter setting in, we tarped the roof and hoped for the best as we waited for spring.  This is what the room looked like when we moved in:

We painted the walls, put up a mantle, and eventually I did some work on the fireplace at the very onset of our renovations. In the end, we decided to move the fireplace to the opposite side of the house, but this is what it looked like at the various stages leading up to the renovation:

Spring rolled around bringing more rain, and we began construction in stages.  In between grueling days of work, I built some inspiration boards to help me begin.  I took a photo of our fireplace and began laying various design elements over it, trying to see if my ideas would mesh well together.  I was trying to create something reminiscent of the Victorian/Edwardian era.  This is what I came up with:

While the hearth is still unfinished and yes, a bit messy in the photos because it's winter and we're actively using the fireplace, the rest of this space is done and I wanted to show it off a little, because I think it has come together quite well.  Incorporating vintage Delft tiles, creating a more florid mantle, and adding wallpaper and paneling, plus tiling the ceiling, and replacing the modern mirror with this antique, this is how it all turned out:

This was my idea board for the rest of the living room, still incorporating Victorian ideas and working with pieces I already had.

In the end, you can see that I opted for blue wall panels instead of green, and the large green elephants I was promised never materialized, but other than that, I am extremely happy with how it turned out.  I even reupholstered an antique couch and chair in green velvet and am happy with how that turned out, but more on that project later.

A small but important detail here is that we replaced the ceiling fan with a fandelier.  The blades retract when not in use making it a much more tasteful light fixture than the previous, cheap florescent eye sore that came with the house.  This particular piece looked nicer in the photos; it's somewhat tacky in person and I don't love it.  Beyond that, it was defective.  We had assembled the entire thing, when the final (and heaviest) piece would not attach because it was improperly constructed, and several inches too small to fit the circumference of the top piece.  I wanted to return it, but after a lot of emails between myself and the Amazon seller, (they really wanted it to be our fault somehow, but we assured them we watched the videos and had assembled it correctly) they offered to send a new piece.  The replacement was the proper diameter and fit, so we kept the fandelier.  It's growing on me, but I still don't love it.  Although looking back at the ceiling fan, I at least like it better than that.

The teapot pillow was a craft fair purchase from a sweet little old couple that repurpose antique needlework into pillows.  The picture on the wall is something that I got from a departed relative.  Originally it had a lithograph of a ship on the ocean and I took it merely for the frame, but when I took the ship picture out I saw this perfect piece behind it!  Hard to see with the glare, but trust me it's perfect.  

I repainted the side table to match the walls and that is an authentic working 1923 phonograph at the side.  The ottoman was from Target about 10 years ago and I also reupholstered to match the couch and chair.

Below, I have framed the photos from our 20th anniversary in my Teuta Matoshi dress in antique frames.  The lamp is also an antique that I had to rewire and the shade is handmade and I've had it for over 30 years.  The box fan is just something that we use to disperse the heat from the woodstove on very cold days like today and I forgot to move it for the picture.

*update*  I just couldn't let that shot sit there, so I came back a week later and took this shot after hanging a garland over the window and adding another little end table.  This is also an antique, but missing the top drawer, so I got it for free and put some more books and trinkets in there.  Now I have a place to set my coffee cup in the mornings while I ignore the cat by reading a book.  I also replaced the gray pillow by taking two little purple pillows that my daughter made for me one Mother's Day when they were young, and covering them in green velvet so they match the room.  I want them to stay in use because I treasure them.  I'm currently working on making a ton of lampshades, so I might add another little table lamp here once the shade is done.

*update (last time, I promise)*  There.  Added a small table lamp, (I haven't changed the shade yet) and now it's perfect.  I can move on.  We can all move on.

I bought a number of these vintage brass bow candle holders and coat hooks to place around the room and although it was difficult to find matching pieces, I'm so glad I kept up the search because they look so lovely above the fireplace and over the sofa.

The details matter just as much the whole, in fact it's the details that make or break the whole.  Just as with the bathroom renovations, I decided to invest in vintage brass outlet and switch covers.  These are from the 1960s, but I think the Victorians would have approved.

The radio is an antique that sadly no longer works, but does have all its guts, so could be repaired should we ever decide to take on that task.  It sits on an antique piece that I suspect once also housed a radio.  Now it houses my collection of books.

So, after all this work, it's finally starting to feel like we're getting somewhere and most thankfully of all, it's looking just as I had hoped it would. 

Is It Possible to Change?

Resolution time is here and since this is the season when so many are making vows to change their ways, I thought I'd discuss a recent conversation with a friend of mine on that very subject.  I was speaking with a friend who was struggling with a person in her life who refused to change.  She felt that the main problem was that their personality types were incompatible and if only he would change.  She asked me if I thought people were capable of change to which I replied, No.  She was taken aback by my answer but I meant what I said. 

Before you get your back up, let me explain.  Habits can change; core being does not change.  Years of observation have led me to believe we are all born with personality types and while through time, effort, and experiences we may modify our behaviors, curb our tendencies, alter our habits, change our desires, or improve ourselves, we don't ever really change our nature, the essence of who we are. 

An uptight person will likely never be the easy-going life of the party.  And the bubbly social butterfly will likely never be the pragmatic industrious Type-A.  So, while those aspects of their core personalities will probably always be there and they will not change, that's not to say that people can't improve by holding their tongue instead of dominating every conversation, or speaking up instead of being a silent wallflower. 

My friend, who is a life-of-the-party kind of girl, has attached herself to a staunch introvert and has been complaining ever since that he needs to change.  I suspect he has been unhappy as well and has said a few things along the lines of wanting her to stay home more.

So, I asked my friend if what she wanted was an improvement in her partner or if she wanted him to be someone he wasn't.  Improvement is possible; that sort of core-being change is not.  Can he compromise by going out with her more without complaining or being nagged?  Absolutely!  On the reverse, she can compromise with him by staying in every now and then.  But, her nature will draw her to social gatherings and people; his will draw him to solitude.  That will always be.  I say all this with an admonition to be very wary of people who want you to change into someone you're not or who make you feel that your nature is wrong or bad simply because it's not like theirs.  That is an exercise in futility which will only lead to unhappiness for both parties.

For me, there was such peace in accepting that the part of my personality that everyone seems to hate, isn't really a bad thing and it isn't really everyone who hates it; it's just people who are the opposite and want me to be more like them.  For example, I recognize that I have an obsessive/addictive personality type; I always have, even as a child, been this way.  That's not going to change, but how I approach and manage it will now that I realize this is how my brain works.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still working on myself, but now within the parameters of who I truly am and it's made all the difference.  It has brought peace to my mind and soul.  

It's perfectly fine for we, ourselves, or the people we love to see an area in which we are struggling and suggest that some work needs to be done there.  It's not ok for people to continually nag/shame us into being their idea of perfect.  You cannot spot this kind of destructive relationship unless you truly know yourself.  To know yourself you must examine yourself and acknowledge both your strengths and weaknesses, your gifts and your flaws.  Once you acknowledge them, you must accept the the parts of yourself that you cannot change and make improvements on the rest and give yourself some grace all along the way.

Outfit Info:  Collectif Shirt Dress, B.A.I.T Shoes

 

For Crown & Glory

You know the feeling; it's such a common human experience.  We have our eyes on a prize.  We fight, we toil, we sow, we sacrifice, and then?  It all goes to someone who didn't put in the work, but just showed up with a charming smile at the right time.  When dreams crumble, when all our work amounts to nothing or someone else reaps the reward, when the crown (or whatever your personal equivalent is) goes to the usurper, we have a serious choice to make.  Giving up is one option.  Continuing to fight is another.  Personally?  I prefer option #3: Stop fighting for the throne and go build your own kingdom.  

I feel like the past three decades of my life were all fighting for that throne, working to win that crown.  The last few years in particular have felt like loss after loss after loss.  I'm ready to stop fighting that fight, but not ready to quit.  The only real choice is to walk away from this season and pour my energy into building something else. 

Today is the day of resolutions, of new beginnings, and I'm ready.

Outfit Info:  Elena Toile Dress from Worth Collective

Letting Go of Busy Nothings

I've let a friendship go recently.  I've written about a few companions that I have parted ways with over the years, but this one was a little different.  Relationships fall away for a number of reasons, disagreements and distance being the most common for me, but this time we parted over...distraction.  

I still love my dear friend, but for the last year or so that we hung out, she was always distracted during our visits.  Always something else, either working from home (could hear the keys clicking the entire time when I spoke and could tell she wasn't listening, but noticed she stopped typing while she was speaking) or was driving somewhere, in a rush, and focusing on traffic, or brought a project to our meet ups so that there was no eye contact and a lot of disinterested mmhmms in response to my words.  

Once in a while wouldn't have been an issue, but when one person is constantly distracted by being in the middle of something else, it really lets the other person know they're not a priority.  Eventually, I (rather childishly) felt like if my friend didn't have to prioritize me, I didn't have to prioritize her either.  So, I started doing other things while she was talking.  Do you know what happens when both people are distracted and disinterested?  The friendship dies a quiet death.  And I share blame, which I fully own and admit.  It was stupid of me and I regret it.

They say we live in a busy world, but if I'm being honest, most people I see are deeply invested in busy nothings.  Scrolling social media and playing video games isn't genuinely busy, it meaningless distraction.  As a mother to grown children I want to rip the phones out of the hands of young parents and beg them to pay attention, this time with their babies is so short and everything on the internet is so fake and stupid. 

 I was blessed enough to attend four Thanksgiving celebrations this year and at more than one of them I walked into an entire room full of people all sitting silently on their phones.   I didn't even bring my phone; I wanted to enjoy the people, the food, the fellowship; I was in the minority.  As certain family members get older I am very much aware that this time could be the last time.  Social media?  It's there and it's meaningless, but it's so incredibly addictive, so that's what everyone wants to do all the time.  They're too distracted, too "busy" to see it all slipping away.

It's possible that my friendship will be renewed one day.  And I hope beyond hope that my family members and all those parents of young children will wise up before that time is lost forever, but the choice is not mine to make for anyone but myself.  For myself, I'm putting together a little internet fast.  For that I'll give up social media, shopping, the whole damn thing.  I'm still ironing out the details, but the time of changes and resolutions is just around the corner and this one has been weighing on my mind so much I think it's time to dive in.

 

Christmas Wishes

Merry, merry Christmas on this happiest of holidays!  I hope that you are warm and safe and surrounded by the very greatest gifts of all--people you love and who love you in return.

Outfit Info:  Selkie Dress from 2024 Holiday collection.