Tell the Truth

I believe in telling the truth, always and at all times, even or perhaps especially when it's difficult.  Which is why I've never put a Welcome mat in front of my home.  No false advertising here.  I might one day get a mat that says simply, Hello, but even that seems more friendly than I actually feel toward strangers at my door.

I've never had the energy for lying, but I've also never seen the payoff.  Most people think that lying will help them avoid pain and discomfort.  What it usually does is prolong or increase it.  Let me give you an example from a recent event in my life:

A friend of mine takes care of her grandmother and was going out of town for the weekend.  A mutual acquaintance of my friend and her grandmother offered to check-in on the grandmother while she was away.   Now it just so happens that grandma can't stand this lady, but rather than saying, I'm sorry, she's a bit upset with you right now but thank you for the offer, my friend lied.  She said that granny already had plans to go shopping with another granddaughter.  Sounds simple enough, right?

The next day, the acquaintance approaches granny and starts talking about what fun she'll have on her shopping trip.  Granny immediately tells her that no such thing will be happening and calls my friend to confirm it.  My friend now has to lie to her grandmother about what she said.  She then has to lie to the acquaintance and tell her it is a surprise trip that's why granny didn't know and then she has to call the other granddaughter to fill her in on these lies and get her to corroborate this story.  Now the lie had grown and drawn others in.

My friend then went on her trip and when she came back had a whole host of lies to concoct and people to tell them to about the grandma situation.  I don't know about you, but that all sounds pretty exhausting to me, not to mention way more uncomfortable than just telling the acquaintance the truth which is that her grandmother had become quite cranky of late and had no filter (I know the octogenarian in question and this is all true) and she was upset with this woman but not to take it personally.

Truth told with kindness and fairness to everyone involved.  Matter ended. I've found the truth to be so consistently easier that I don't bother with lies anymore.  They take much more work and never deliver because, like it or not the truth will always be found out eventually, better save yourself some time, some discomfort/worry, and a whole lot of effort and just start out telling the truth.

If you're in the habit of "sparing people's feelings" by telling them soft lies, it can be daunting to change your ways.  You may feel that you risk making people angry or hurt, or risking that they won't like you if you tell them what they don't want to hear, but consider this:  the truth is the most freeing thing in the world and it may not be easy, but it can be spoken with so much love and kindness that people will respect you more and like you better for knowing that you respect them enough to be honest and you care enough to be kind.  That's the kind of attitude that draws people in instead of pushing them away.

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