A Holistic Anniversary

I just celebrated a three year anniversary with my holistic doctor.  Maybe three years of seeing a doctor doesn't sound like cause for celebration, but in those three years, I've made some pretty big strides to better health and so we marked the occasion with a hug and promise to have cake at our next meeting.

At our previous visit, she said that I was ready to move into a cleansing phase and the best place to start was by clearing drainage pathways in my liver and lymphatic system.  She gave me three bottles of witch's brew to take for six weeks before we began the cleanse.  I don't know what kind of magic those pills worked, but for those six weeks, this lifelong insomniac slept like a dream.  I'm talking a solid 8 hours of uninterrupted blissful slumber even if I hadn't exercised and had indulged in too many sweets.  And sometimes, I even took naps!  Once I napped for three hours, got up for four hours then went back to bed and slept a full eight.  Amazing!

Those six weeks were followed by four weeks of phase 2 of the cleanse.  Now, phase 2 probably should have gone on longer, but our income has been interrupted, so I had to pause the cleanse until our funds return, but for those four weeks as well, I slept so soundly and so well it felt like a miracle.

Within a few days of pausing the cleanse, the insomnia returned with a vengeance.  I spent several nights lying awake for six hours or so, bookending the night with an hour of sleep at the beginning and an hour at the end.  As strange as it sounds, I never realized what a huge impact insomnia has had on my overall outlook on life until now.

After only two and a half months of regular sleep, when the insomnia returned I immediately noticed how depressed, anxious, irritable, and fearful I became.  A million anxious thoughts and great sadnesses from all my forty years were coming back to torment me as I lay awake and it all began by being startled by the smallest sound which caused me to yell at the perpetrator (my children making a late night snack in the kitchen) or else quietly nurse resentment through the long wakeful hours.  It was a nightmare, for lack of a better term, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. 

So, while I wait for the funds to open up for me to return to my holistic doc and pick up where we left off, I have resumed limiting my sugar intake, avoid caffeine altogether, and prioritize exercise throughout the day.  And, even though I have not enjoyed this experience of a return to sleeplessness,  I have come away from this experience with a new understanding of myself and my own health that I might never have gained otherwise.

Nothing worth having comes easily.  I knew that going in, in fact my doc promised me that she couldn't give me a magic pill to cure it all, that it would take a lot of work and time but I was willing to put in the time and do the hard work and I am finally seeing consistent results and I am excited to continue moving forward to live the very best life I possibly can.

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