Busyness

If there is one thing I have learned during this month of no spending it's that a large part of the reason I spend is to stay busy.  There's an addiction at work, sure, but there is also a drive to be ever creating something.  I shop for odds and ends for craft or sewing projects I'm working on.  I shop for accessories to create the perfect outfit composition for photographing.  I shop to sample new designers so I can make a video reviewing them.  Busy, busy, busy.  I shop to stay busy and this month without it had me biting my nails and pacing the floors for the first couple of weeks.

I'm learning to make the most of my idle time now as I cannot stand the idea of just sitting.  So, instead of shopping or even outfit blogging/photographing, I've been rather focused on getting my house in order.  It's not a job I relish or anticipate, but a necessary one and one that no one else has been doing since I left full-time homemaking for the work force.  It kind of sucks and yet it's the way of things all too often.

I always wanted my life to be a challenge, not a grind.  I wanted it to matter in some way that would make a difference for generations.  I had my heart set on missionary work, building communities, and helping those in need, a Lillian Trasher, Gladys Aylward type of life.  What a challenge that would have been and how rewarding, but as I round out my 40th year, I am more and more resigned to this treadmill simplicity, but I have to acknowledge that my nature craves a challenge still and it will supplement however it can.

This little Abbott Prairie Dress was a delightful challenge and I had a tremendous sense of accomplishment when it turned out as well as I had hoped and with only one day of working on it to boot.  But as soon as I sat back and looked at the finished work, breathed a single sigh of contentment, my mind began searching for something else to do.

I have been thinking a lot about my future and my nature lately.  I love my job, but should I add something more challenging to my weekly schedule?  I'm not sure I have the time to do more than I'm doing now.  I feel shattered at the end of each day, but rarely accomplished, which begs the question if I should be doing different instead of more. 

While I'm pondering all this and still in the middle of this spending freeze, I have been contemplating sewing projects, both the ones I could do now without buying any supplies and the ones I would like to take on in the future should funds become more flexible.

Ever since this Selkie obsession began, I've been splitting my style between this princessy vibe and my ever-admired vintage styles.  I would love to try sewing some 1940s style trousers and overalls from a vintage reproduction pattern, but that's one of those projects that would require some shopping as I currently have no proper overalls fabric or the appropriate buttons.

I guess I'll just have to stick a pin in my plans and keep busy in the meantime with cleaning, organizing, scrubbing, shelving, and all the other little tasks that fall by the wayside when there is no constant keeper of the home.

Shopping Info:  This Selkie Abbott Prairie Puff Dress dress is from Boho Chic Clothing.  It is sold out now, but you can still find it at Revolve.