A Controversial Kiss

First of all, let me just say, No, this post isn't about a scandalous affair, although as I write that, even I'm a little disappointed.  Instead this post is about a Kiss on the Lips Print from Selkie's spring collection that caused quite a stir in the chats leading up to the drop. 

Of the 40 or so comments about the print, the majority, say two-thirds, were strongly opposed to this print with most saying that it was "too juvenile" (unlike all other Selkie which is sooooo mature?  I thought we all loved Selkie because of its girlishness) or that it reminded them of a cheap brand like XXI or SheIn, and/or something from a long time ago although the timelines ranged from the 1980s-to 2012.  (Frankly everything at Selkie reminds me of the 80s and even though I didn't love it in the 80s, I love it on Selkie!)  At this point, allow me to add that the people in this group are generally very gracious and tactful and they often followed negative remarks with something positive like, "I don't like it but I could see someone else making it look good."  Overall, they're very kind and supportive people, and I didn't take anything they said as a personal attack or a form of cruelty, so we're all good there.  But I, for one, loved the lipstick prints even in the 80s, (little girl Leandra sooo wanted a lips phone but was told she wasn't old enough and by the time she was, they no longer made them), and I was thrilled when the kiss prints came back in 2012.  In fact I bought a sweater from XXI around that time with the kiss print which you can see here.  Sadly I didn't get to wear it much because my daughters claimed it and totally wore it out. 

Ever since the New York Fashion Week show in October, I zeroed in on that print and have been hoping and dreaming that Selkie would put it on the Beach Day Dress and then just days before the drop I found out that they did!  It just goes to show that if you want something enough and your heart is pure, dreams can come true!  So, when I was excited and so many others were repelled at this Kiss on the Lips Print, it had an effect on me.  

There were so many of the same negative comments that I started to wonder if I should buy it or not.  I don't want to look tacky or cheap, or like an old lady who's trying to look young, but, let's face it, nothing Selkie makes is exactly timeless or neutral.  They make fashion forward things with impractical princess vibes and wearing them is going to make you stand out.

I definitely understand feeling like you've outgrown certain prints or that a certain print is just not for you.  In fact when everyone was tripping over themselves to get the pastel unicorn prints in December, I was content to pass.  They seemed too young and just generally not right for me.  I still loved the print, if I were 20 years younger I would have totally gone for it and I loved everyone's beautiful photos in them even people who were my age still looked great, it just wasn't right for me.  I was relieved that I didn't love them because it meant I wasn't tempted to buy.

Even though they weren't right for me, because I saw them look really cute on others, I try not to take these sorts of comments to heart because everyone is different.  But, I must admit, that even as confident as I am in my own tastes and personal style, with so many resoundingly negative opinions, I started to question myself.  I even started to think maybe I didn't like it so much and I wouldn't buy it.  Then I stopped and remembered the Asch Conformity experiments.

If memory serves, in the experiment, subjects were placed in a room with ringers and shown some line segments.  They were then asked which line segments were the same length and the answer was fairly obvious.  After they answered, the ringers then disagreed with them, insisting that two lines of different lengths were in fact the same.  Nearly all of the time, the subject caved and changed their answer to match that of the others.  

These experiments were conducted in the 1950s and essentially revealed that it's not so very difficult to get people to change their minds, to say things that are completely untrue and even when they are easily observable as untrue, and to ignore reality, in order to conform to the group.  And believe me when I say that I felt the pressure.  Maybe if everyone else thought it was ugly, I was wrong and it actually was an ugly print.  I pondered, I consulted others, I pondered some more.  Then I looked at the photo of the dress and I made my decision.

Just because there are a lot of people saying something doesn't mean it's true.  Especially when it comes to fashion, it's rarely a matter of true or false, just assessments and inclinations and a lot of opinions.  Opinions are just opinions, everyone has one; sometimes they're helpful and sometimes they're total crap, and more often than not, they change especially when it comes to fashion.  What everyone loves today, they'll be panning tomorrow.  I've definitely changed my mind on fashion trends, but there are certain things that I like, always have and always will.  

Since I've never been terribly good at conforming, I decided to buy the dress (it was one of only two only my wishlist from the NYFW show), to love it because I love it and make little 1980s Leandra's dream come true, and to not worry about what other people think.  And the very best part of all is that even people who didn't like the dress were still there to celebrate with me when I bought it because it made me happy.  They're good people and I love that we can share this with each other even if we don't agree on everything.  So, while this story of a scandalous kiss ends with friendship and support instead of broken hearts, I think it's a far better ending and more in keeping with the spirit of Valentine's Day.

Shopping Info:  Kiss on the Lips Beach Day Dress-$299 from Selkiecollection.com