Valentine's Day

Spending Valentine's Day with one of my true loves, Collectif.  When the new website launched in December, I was thrilled to see my favorite styles in new prints, plus a selection of old stock at hugely discounted prices.  I may have gone a little crazy supporting Collectif's return, but I had been in serious withdrawls since their closure in July, so a December binge upon all their re-opening seemed only fitting.  So, I purchased several deadstock items which included this Purrfect sleeveless Caterina dress with an adorable postie cat print.  Feels like it was made for Valentine's Day.  I'm really, really trying to Low-Buy in 2025, so I haven't yet tried anything from the new stock, but I am committed to saving up for a piece or two this year to show my support!

This pretty pink Ecosusi bag was also a 2024 purchase.  They had an amazing buy one, get one free sale, so I indulged.  I haven't had the chance to use it yet, but February seems like the perfect time for bows and pinks.

Outfit Info: Caterina Sleeveless Postie The Cat Dress, Similar style is the Jade Dress in the same print, Cardigan from YeMAK, Bag by Ecosusi

Style Your Life and Wear Your Attitude

"Fashion you can buy, but style you possess.  The key to style is learning who you are, which takes years.  There's no how-to road map to style.  It's about self-expression, and, above all, attitude."  
Iris Apfel

Style is all about learning who you are, the kind of life you live and the kind of person you want to represent to the world.  The most wonderful thing about style is that it can always change right along with you, especially when the message you're sending to the world isn't what you really want to say anymore.  

A few years ago I remember hearing a fashion mentor of mine say that she didn't like wearing dresses anymore.  She'd hit menopause and was no longer comfortable in the clothes she used to love.  I was a little sad to see her change, but darn if that woman still didn't look great in her trousers and sneakers.  Even though her style had changed, she was still totally chic and stylish.

In the past year of reflection and contemplation, I've noticed my own style preferences changing as my life changes.  I'm getting older and feeling more and more like I'll leave the novelty prints to the younger women of the world.  I still love dresses, but I've been gravitating to more understated prints and lots of natural fabrics like cotton and linen and far away from polyester mini dresses with puffy sleeves.  That's just not me at the moment.

 

While I love and truly appreciate all the well meaning people who respond to such statements with affirmations of "you're never too old; wear whatever you want!"  the very best and most interesting sense of style comes from really knowing who you are and having the attitude to wear it.  I know who I am, who I've been and who I want to be quite well, which is why it I know when it's time to change and it doesn't bother me at all.  Besides, if the quote at the top is true then most of what makes style great is attitude and I've got plenty of that, so no matter how things change, I think I'll be just fine.

Outfit Info:  Sonnet Dress from Ivy City Co.  Heels by Bettie Page.

Love and Such

Valentine's Day is here again so of course we need to talk about love, but since I don't have anything new to say on the topic of relationships, I thought I would take a different approach and talk about being grateful for all the things and people you love.

A few years ago, I was struggling with a deep and painful loss and grief like I have never known before and hope I never feel again.  Depression followed as I just could not seem to pull myself out of this pit.  In a desperate attempt to try to shift my focus from all the sadness, I bought a gratitude journal.

If you're unfamiliar with a gratitude journal, they're just like any other journal in that you write in them, but unlike other journals, this one had room only for the date and a list of three things I was thankful for.  That's it.  No room for anything else, not a single if, and, or but.  

So, I opened the journal and started to write.  Actually, the only thing I wrote was the date.  Then I sat there and stared at those three lines trying desperately to think of something I was grateful for.  Just three things.  "Ok, ok," I thought, "this doesn't have to be ground breaking, it just has to be honest."  So, I wrote: 1.  my daughters, 2.  chocolate, 3.  pizza.  It seemed kind of lame to put two foods alongside my children as things I was grateful for, but I truly and honestly was thankful for each of them albeit in varying degrees.  I closed the book and hoped the next day would be easier.

The next day wasn't easier.  It didn't get easier for a year or more actually, but I kept going and eventually, although my children, chocolate, and pizza would all fill those lines many, many more times, I eventually did find other things in my life that I was thankful for and over time I could feel myself attitude shifting.  More importantly, whenever I was feeling down, I could look back over all the previous entries and it made my heart so happy to see all the good things in my life.

If love is a verb then happiness is too.  These are things we choose, actions we take, not things that come to us as we sit passively by and wait.  I choose to love people in my life, even when they're unkind, even when it hurts because I would rather love than hate, forgive than resent, and rejoice than mourn.  I choose to be happy and to laugh as much as possible, and I choose to be grateful as much as humanly possible for this one and only life that I have.  And so, if you are feeling a bit blue this Valentine's Day, make a choice to celebrate all the things and the people in your life that your are grateful for.  And have some chocolate too, giving thanks for every delicious bite.

Outfit Info:  YeMAK cardigan, Knitted Dove Dress, City Classified Shoes, Natural Life Mug  Use my link and get 20% off.

Year Round Glamor with Retro-Stage

Collaborating with Retro-Stage always means something glamorous, but this glittery red 1920s geometric dress from Retro-Stage's 1920's collection is definitely at the top of the list!  The perfect style for making a statement on NYE and all year round.

There are dresses in this world that just do all the right things to make you look amazing and this is one of those dresses.  Seriously, looking at myself in this dress, even I had to take a second glance and go, "Wow!  Is that really me?!"  

Since I never really know what I'll be doing for NYE until the day arrives, it's become a personal policy of mine to have a few options just in case we decide to go out at the last minute and I have to say that this dress is not only the perfect New Year's dress, but my, oh, my it's perfect for any special occasion.

If you've been reading the blog for any significant amount of time then you already know that not only am I a firm believer in having that perfect special occasion dress on hand for whenever and whatever comes your way, but I also believe in creating the special events instead of passively waiting for them to happen.  This dress is definitely making me want to throw my own NYE bash next year, or better yet, throw a 1920s themed party anytime in between, so I don't have to wait a whole year to wear this dress again. 

Let's face it, a dress this gorgeous is just too perfect to sit and wait when I could put together a little something between now and then, and if I do, I'll definitely recommend my guests check out Retro-Stage's 1920s collection.  Soooo many gorgeous dresses at very reasonable prices.

I don't know what this new year will hold, but I am extremely hopeful that there will be more time for friends, family, parties, and making memories in 2024, but no matter what may come, I definitely have the right dress for it thanks to Retro-Stage.

Outfit Info: 1920s Sequined Sleeveless Geometric Dress-$55.99, View the entire 1920s collection here

Red Flags & Rose Colored Glasses

 "When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."  Bojack Horseman

I've never watched this Horseman show, don't really know anything about it, but that quote shows a lot of wisdom in its own simple way.  I always considered myself to be a very analytical, even cynical, jaded was also a term used to describe me by others, which is exactly how and why I could see every red flag coming a mile away in my work and acquaintances.  

And yet, as realistically as I saw the world, the outside world anyway, when it came to the small circle of people that I truly loved and trusted, I viewed them all through rose colored glasses.  And all the red flags just looked like regular flags.  And that, my friends, is how even the most sensible and guarded person can still get totally blindsided in her personal life.  

It's easy to stand on the outside of someone else's misfortune and say, "I can't believe she let that happen.  How did she miss the signs?"  People miss the signs, the red flags, the glaring and obvious truths staring them in the face, the same way that I did, we dismiss them because we view the person causing them or the world around us at its best.  We trust this person or this mean old world and don't suspect that people who claim to love us, not only don't love us back but are actually intentionally trying to harm us.  Who wants to go through life thinking that way about the people they love?  Certainly not me.  And yet, here we are.  So, if you're like me, and you did the thing that normal human beings do, you loved someone enough to trust them, and then you got hurt, you could go in the opposite extreme of your rose-colored innocence, and become bitter and suspicious of the whole world and everyone in it.  That's an option, and one I have personally seen far too many people embrace so they will feel safe from further harm, but I don't recommend it.  Bitterness is poison to your body and soul, and suspicion will exhaust you without ever brining you the things you want, which are love/acceptance, safety, and peace.  So, what's the alternative?

I often turn to the Bible for answers to tough questions and painful situations and I always find the answer.  In this particular situation, I found my answer here: “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 NIV  You see, my friends, we are very unfortunately sheep among wolves.  (I am a sheep anyway, and I hope you are too, someone who lives their life as honestly as possible, trying to mind my own business and generally treat others with the kind of respect I would like to see in return.)  Sheep are the innocent and wolves are those who seek to prey on them, use and manipulate them, and leave them wounded or dying without a second thought.  Now that you know you are living among wolves, you must be as shrewd-calculating and sharp in your judgement-as a serpent and as innocent-morally guiltless-as a dove.  That sounds like a pretty tall order.  How do we ever walk that line?

It might look different for you, but for me, it means that I no longer assume the best of anyone (shrewd) but neither do I assume the worst (innocent).  I treat all the people in my life the same way.  Whether I love them, despise them, or don't know them at all, I assume that they are capable of both great kindness and infinite cruelty.  I hope for kindness, but prepare for cruelty.  I don't accuse without proof and I don't trust without verification.  My heart and actions are still moral, but no longer naïve.  None of this is a guarantee against getting hurt again, that's just a part of life, after all, but it does make it a little more difficult.  If that's the best I can do without losing my joy for living and turning into a bitter miserable person, I'll take it.