Sound Beauty Advice

 "Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself." - Coco Chanel

A few months ago I decided to stop coloring my hair and grow out my natural color, which is, at this point in my life, gray.  I wish I could say the decision came about because of some deep inward security with myself, my age, and my looks, but really it came out of concern for my hair, which comes out in clumps each time I color it.  I'm sorry but this cannot be good for us!

I started out, about eight years ago, with a wash out color just to give my hair a little boost, but wash out colors are a total mess--try getting caught in a rainstorm in a white dress with washout red dye in your hair and you'll know what I mean!  They also don't really look good after the first couple of shampoos and pretty soon your life revolves around planning your shampoos to make the color last as long as possible.  Even so I didn't make the switch to permanent color until after the bleach fiasco of 2017.  And the cycle of coloring just continued because I hate the line of demarcation that happens when I grow out my hair.  It's been about many years since I've seen my natural color and just how much gray I've acquired since I started coloring it.  Eeesh, it wasn't easy to take; it still isn't, but the fact is, this is me, and maybe it's time I just accepted that.

Each time I see an actress approaching her 40s-50s and desperately trying to fill, inject, and implant her way back to youth, I feel a little sick to my stomach.  It never works, why do they keep doing it?!  I wish we lived in a world that could accept aging with grace, and that valued older women as much as it values older men.  I always thought I would be able to age naturally and gracefully, but the truth is aging is hard not because I am older but because I don't feel older.  I feel like I'm finally in a good place, confident, grounded, unflappable.  Good thing too, because it's happening just as the world is telling me I'm also irrelevant.

But, I am older; I have the gray hair to prove it.  And the wrinkles, and the saggy knees (seriously, when did that happen?!).  It's just the way of things.  So, why fight it so hard?  I don't want to be one of those grotesque pantomimes of youth like the Hollywood actresses.  I'd rather just be a classy older woman.  And that may mean changing my style a little too.  In fact, I just did a major closet cleanout and donated clothes that are, as much as I hate to admit it, too young for me, including my short Selkies and dupes.  I donated them to a local high school and I hope those young women absolutely love them.  

As for me, I'm working on a style that works for me, who I am at this age.   It should be modest but confident, colorful and understated.  And I am working on calmly accepting all the changes, including the gray hair, that comes with getting older and embracing the way that life is different now.  Because true beauty, just as Ms. Chanel said, happens when you stop trying to be someone or some age that you are not.  True beauty happens when you start being yourself.

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