Pink Porcelain

"sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent." 

"One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things."

"When have you been at your strongest?" asked the boy.  "When I have dared to show my weakness. Asking for help isn't giving up," said the horse. "It's refusing to give up." from The boy, the mole, the fox, and the horse by Charlie Mackesy

As the holidays approach, I know that this can be one of the most difficult times of year for many.  I've had this post written for years, but now seems like the ideal time to post it. 

    I always hated asking for help. Hate isn't really a strong enough word. I felt a physical revulsion to asking for help. Why? Well, for one thing I was a perfectionist who hated to admit that things weren't perfect, hated to admit that I was weak or had failed. But it goes beyond that.  

Asking for help means being vulnerable enough with someone to expose your weakness to them and then stand there, naked, while they consider whether or not you're worth their time and help. It means not only showing that your weakness, admitting failure, but also in the midst of all that, facing rejection. I could deal with the failure. I could deal with the weakness. It was the vulnerability and even more so, it was the utter rejection in a time of greatest need by someone who claimed to love me or be a true friend that I could not accept. If I was rejected once, even on or perhaps especially on small help, I would never ask again. If I was rejected on really big help, I found I could no longer look at those people, let alone feel kindly toward them. And, please bear in mind that on the rare occasion that I did ask for help, the answer was nearly always No.  

And, so rather than dislike and mistrust a growing number of people, I stopped asking for help. Can't get rejected if you never ask.  It was only years and years into my adult life that I found myself in such a state of utter brokenness that I cried out, begged for someone, anyone to help me, and kept begging until someone did. Even in that awful time, I got a lot of rejections, but it didn't matter anymore; I'd already experienced the worst, what was a little more? I didn't just have to face rejection, I had to keep facing it. It sounds like it would be the hardest thing to do, but it wasn't. At the end of myself, at the end of my delusion of perfection, it was either face up or give up.  

There were a very few who came to help and they made all the difference. Asking for help, isn't giving up, it's refusing to give up. Asking for help means that you are saying, I will keep going, keep fighting, keep asking no matter what it takes. So, keep going, keep fighting, keep asking for help until you get it. As for me, I'm no longer a perfectionist. Not interested in pretending. Not interested in trying. Far more likely to ask for help if I need it and shrug off rejection when I face it.  And far happier because of it.

Outfit info:  Selkie pink porcelain Renaissance dress--thrifted 

Whispering Forest Gown

Mr. Bleu and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year and he very sweetly suggested that we have a ceremony to renew our vows.  At first I was so touched and thrilled by the idea that I started planning.  The more I thought about it, the less excited I became.  The first go round was extremely stressful and expensive that I really didn't think I wanted to go through it all again.  However, 20 years of marriage is a thing worth celebrating and it needed to be done right, so in lieu of a ceremony, we went to the chapel that I always wished we had used for our wedding (but we didn't have the  money), bought a new dress and a new suit, and booked an hour with a talented photographer just to capture our moment in a less stressful and more private way.  It was truly wonderful and so much fun.  I couldn't find anyone to do my makeup, but I did get my hair styled and it was a beautiful mild evening. I originally thought I would wear a dress I already owned, but nothing felt quite right for what I wanted.  Fortunately, Teuta Matoshi has never let me down and I found the perfect gown for the occasion.  For a full dress review, click on my YouTube video below.

 Outfit Info:  Whispering Forest Dress from Teuta Matoshi

Year Round Glamor with Retro-Stage

Collaborating with Retro-Stage always means something glamorous, but this glittery red 1920s geometric dress from Retro-Stage's 1920's collection is definitely at the top of the list!  The perfect style for making a statement on NYE and all year round.

There are dresses in this world that just do all the right things to make you look amazing and this is one of those dresses.  Seriously, looking at myself in this dress, even I had to take a second glance and go, "Wow!  Is that really me?!"  

Since I never really know what I'll be doing for NYE until the day arrives, it's become a personal policy of mine to have a few options just in case we decide to go out at the last minute and I have to say that this dress is not only the perfect New Year's dress, but my, oh, my it's perfect for any special occasion.

If you've been reading the blog for any significant amount of time then you already know that not only am I a firm believer in having that perfect special occasion dress on hand for whenever and whatever comes your way, but I also believe in creating the special events instead of passively waiting for them to happen.  This dress is definitely making me want to throw my own NYE bash next year, or better yet, throw a 1920s themed party anytime in between, so I don't have to wait a whole year to wear this dress again. 

Let's face it, a dress this gorgeous is just too perfect to sit and wait when I could put together a little something between now and then, and if I do, I'll definitely recommend my guests check out Retro-Stage's 1920s collection.  Soooo many gorgeous dresses at very reasonable prices.

I don't know what this new year will hold, but I am extremely hopeful that there will be more time for friends, family, parties, and making memories in 2024, but no matter what may come, I definitely have the right dress for it thanks to Retro-Stage.

Outfit Info: 1920s Sequined Sleeveless Geometric Dress-$55.99, View the entire 1920s collection here

Toile Part 3: Violette

While Marie-Antoinette adored her private world of Petit Trianon, she was also quite the social butterfly.  And with nearly 300 dresses made each year to accommodate all her social engagements at the theater, at court, and at her own private parties, many from the brilliant dress maker, Rose Bertin, how could she stay at home for too long?  France was totally enamored with the young dauphine and later queen-consort for many years.  If the queen loved it, it was sure to instantly become high-fashion, and the queen loved toile.  I imagine she would have been just as gaga for this pink toile Violette princess dress from JessaKae as I am.  To be sure it has a heavy Antoinette influence.

The last and final installment in our Toile series will explore the high life surrounding Toile fabric as well as the plight of the worker.  As I mentioned in my previous post, Marie Antoinette, the queen of all things couture, whose style endures to this day, simple adored Toile prints, in particular those of Christophe-Philippe Oberkampf whose illustrated toile prints set the standard.  

But, toile didn't end in the French court.  The style was making its way across Europe and England and was picked up by visiting American dignitary, Benjamin Franklin who sent it home to his wife.  

Thomas Jefferson decorated Monticello in Toile, and if these elites were stylin' it, then virtually every fashionable home was following suit.  America's revolution was over and cotton was readily available for printing on what was then called "curious copperplate print," so it was only natural that toile abounded in the newly free America.  The winds of revolution however were just beginning to turn into a tempest in Europe.  

While Oberkampf's ethics in gaining his knowledge of toile production are highly questionable, he was wise to treat his workers rather well and use his illustrations to depict scenes of the workers' life in illustrations such as Les Travaux de la Manufacture" in 1783.  Oberkampf endeared himself to the common man by expressing his knowledge and admiration for the worker.  When revolution swept through France and his devoted patroness, Marie Antoinette, lost her head, Oberkampf's factory remained untouched and production continued as usual. 

Toile may have eventually experienced some decline as a new century emerged, and fresh new takes on home decor and fabric emerged from the likes of the pre-Raphaelites like William Morris and the eventually gave way to the geometric styles of Art Deco, toile has never fully disappeared from the decorative landscape.  It remains a charming timeless symbol of elegance and refinement.

Shopping Info:  Violette Dress-$250 From Jessa Kae. 

References: 

https://en.chateauversailles.fr/discover/history/great-characters/rose-bertin

https://12tomatoes.com/toile-fabric-history/

https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/221839

https://fredericmagazine.com/2020/11/toile-jill-lasersohn-fabric-design/

Princess Shoes with NEWBELLA

Oh, for a princess dress!  You know how much I love my princess dresses, but I do admit that when they drag the ground, something has to give: either the dress has to get shorter or I have to get taller. Naturally, I'm done growing, so it only makes sense to get a little taller with a nice platform shoe.  Since this JessaKae dress is completely stunning, and it would be almost a crime for it to sit in the closet, I decided to don my highest shoes and wear it anyway.  I chose these Endless Holiday espadrille wedges from NEWBELLA.  These mirror pieces down the front make them a perfect pairing with a princess dress. 

For my collaboration with NEWBELLA you can save an extra 18% with my code BLEU and get some great summer sandals that also work perfectly with your princess dresses.  A little height, a little sparkle, and a lot of style.  Made of soft faux suede, these Endless Holiday Wedges, (I love that name, by the way!) are comfortable and surprisingly easy to wear despite the height thanks to the wide base of the wedge design.

Never let your best things sit in the closet.  Instead find the right pairings so that you get the most enjoyment from your clothes.  My collaboration with NEWBELLA continues with one more very classically stylish pair of flats, so join me right back here on Sunday for the final installment in this collab.

Shopping Info:  ENDLESS HOLIDAY Ankle Strap Espadrille Wedge Sandals from NEWBELLA. Use code BLEU to save 18% off your purchase. Violette Dress in Pink-$250 from JessaKae.