Love and Such

Valentine's Day is here again so of course we need to talk about love, but since I don't have anything new to say on the topic of relationships, I thought I would take a different approach and talk about being grateful for all the things and people you love.

A few years ago, I was struggling with a deep and painful loss and grief like I have never known before and hope I never feel again.  Depression followed as I just could not seem to pull myself out of this pit.  In a desperate attempt to try to shift my focus from all the sadness, I bought a gratitude journal.

If you're unfamiliar with a gratitude journal, they're just like any other journal in that you write in them, but unlike other journals, this one had room only for the date and a list of three things I was thankful for.  That's it.  No room for anything else, not a single if, and, or but.  

So, I opened the journal and started to write.  Actually, the only thing I wrote was the date.  Then I sat there and stared at those three lines trying desperately to think of something I was grateful for.  Just three things.  "Ok, ok," I thought, "this doesn't have to be ground breaking, it just has to be honest."  So, I wrote: 1.  my daughters, 2.  chocolate, 3.  pizza.  It seemed kind of lame to put two foods alongside my children as things I was grateful for, but I truly and honestly was thankful for each of them albeit in varying degrees.  I closed the book and hoped the next day would be easier.

The next day wasn't easier.  It didn't get easier for a year or more actually, but I kept going and eventually, although my children, chocolate, and pizza would all fill those lines many, many more times, I eventually did find other things in my life that I was thankful for and over time I could feel myself attitude shifting.  More importantly, whenever I was feeling down, I could look back over all the previous entries and it made my heart so happy to see all the good things in my life.

If love is a verb then happiness is too.  These are things we choose, actions we take, not things that come to us as we sit passively by and wait.  I choose to love people in my life, even when they're unkind, even when it hurts because I would rather love than hate, forgive than resent, and rejoice than mourn.  I choose to be happy and to laugh as much as possible, and I choose to be grateful as much as humanly possible for this one and only life that I have.  And so, if you are feeling a bit blue this Valentine's Day, make a choice to celebrate all the things and the people in your life that your are grateful for.  And have some chocolate too, giving thanks for every delicious bite.

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