Wednesday, December 29, 2021

When Help Doesn't Come

This is a difficult time of year for so many people, that I thought this post would be best shared now.  I got some very disappointing news today.  I don't often ask for help, but if I do, it's because it is truly vital.  Asking for help is a last resort when I've exhausted all my own strength and means.  But, here I am.  I've run into a situation that I just can't work out on my own.  I need help.  So, I asked.  And today I got the answer I usually get which is a shrug and a brush off.  It was, as I mentioned, deeply disappointing, but not unexpected.  Christians and Do-gooders.  So many of them are too busy doing "good works" to actually lend a hand and do a good work.
I asked for a small amount of help, that would only cost someone's time, maybe an hour a week at most, and was refused by not one but several people all from the same organization.  It's hard to take because I was refused by people who will fly half way around the world to help strangers in a third-world country but won't lift a finger to help someone in their own neighborhood.  Why?  Kindness is kindness, isn't it?  And a person in need is a person in need no matter where they live, aren't they?
It's hard for me not to assume in a moment like this that the reason I was denied was because there was no glory in it for them.  No photo-op to post to social media which displays their good works and shows the world just how good of a person they are.
I may never know their real reason(s) why, but it's harder to face these people now, to see all their photos of all their goodness.  It's even harder when they hold out their hands and ask me to financially support their next trip around the world to help the indigenous peoples of where ever.  It's easy in this moment to become resentful, and then angry, and then bitter.  But I'd rather not go that route if I can avoid it.
What do you do when you ask for help and get none?  How do you hold on to hope?  The knowledge that's always brought me the most comfort in moments like this is just this:  You are never truly alone.  My twelve step program called it "having a higher power."  I call Him God and I wouldn't have made it very far in life without Him.
You see, as much as we want to believe that there will be people in our lives who will be there for us no matter what, the truth is that the only one that most of us can rely on is God, because not only will the people in our lives fail us, but we will fail them and we will even fail ourselves.  God is the only one who never changes and never fails.
If you're going through something difficult and find yourself without a friend, just know you're not truly walking through it alone.  You do have a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  All you have to do is call on His name and spend some time being still and waiting for His answer.   And if it helps, just know that I'm sitting beside you in spirit and I'm waiting and listening too.
I'll find a way to forgive these people and I may even be able to contribute to their good works fund again one day.  Right now, I'm just going to keep going, keep walking through the valley, and focus on the one who never fails.

2 comments

  1. First of all, your photos are, as always, wonderful and high class! You have no idea how refreshing your words are for me. To see between all the fashion brands and beauty, between all this perfection, your personal feelings and your deep human side. It's so good to hear that you believe in God. I guess your thoughts are a comfort for many people. How sad is it and how hurting, when in a time like this - Covid-19, Christmas, New Year's Eve when we are especially vulnerable, help is refused by those from whom we believed to be our friends. How bitter! I don't know the nearer circumstances, it's very fair of you, not to uncover the name of the organization, but it's especially disappointing, when Christians let you down. Well, you said yourself, we don't know the real reasons, why they refused to help. Maybe they didn't seriously believe that you needed help so urgent? Who knows? I by myself was disappointed by a church many years ago. Now, after all these years, I see everything from a different perspective. Through those experiences, I guess you know it already, but it may be comforting, to hear it from somebody else, we mature and grow. Even Jesus was let down by his disciples, who asked to help him in this dark night of Gethsemane, but they fell asleep again. And do you know what's worse? When you have the feeling that even God has left you, because you can't feel his presence anymore. "My God, my God, why you have forsaken me", cries Jesus hanging on the cross. We all can come to such a "dark night of the soul" (John of the Cross). Doubts, disappointments and loneliness are something that is hard to understand, but it deepens our faith on the long run.
    Once again, thank you for that motivational and inspiring article!

    All the best for the New Year!

    Yours Volker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Volkner. Your words mean more than I could ever say ❤❤

      Delete

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