The Witching Hour: A Magical Collection Arrives

I am absolutely over the moon that this magical Porto Collection has arrived and that I could participate with Charlie Stone Shoes.  I've been wanting to work with them for ages and this looked like so much fun I could hardly wait to do this post! 

Inspired by the Portuguese city, Porto, where the Art Nouveau movement of the late 19th century is so well represented in florid and organic architecture that it inspired the magical writings of a certain famous author.  That series enchanted people of all ages and continues to do so to this day and I can guarantee that this collection will be an unboxing unlike any other.

Ornately boxed with golden leaf lettering, you'll have to hold the box up to the mirror for a special message and then continue inside to use the clues printed on the shoes to solve the riddle and enter to win a prize.  I chose these Texago flats which are a mustard yellow with a dark espresso brown trim and bow.

I was so pleased and surprised that these shoes come in your choice of genuine or vegan leather for the same price.  At some point I'll probably make a little video on why I have to wear leather over vegan leather.  But, before we go on in this post, you have to take a moment to watch this unboxing; it is a moment of wonder.

Opening these shoes was more akin to opening birthday surprises and was indeed a very magical experience, that's why I decided to break out the magic wand and the black cat bag for a little wizardry of my own.

You I don't like to wear outright costumes unless it's Halloween, but I do love an outfit that is suggestive of a theme without being too on the nose.  That's one of the things I love about these Texago shoes.  They're suggestive of that magical place that the stories it inspired without being so overt.

So, in keeping with an inconspicuous wizard theme, I opted for this black fascinator hat in lieu of a wizard's hat.  It's very vintage and yet high enough that combined with everything else, it gives the subtle air of magic.

A few words of advice about Charlie Stone shoes: Before purchasing, do your homework.  I measured my foot, read all their suggestions and then used their guide to find my perfect size.  It wasn't the size I thought I would need.  In American shoe sizing I wear a 7.5B, (the B stands for Medium width).  In European sizing that translates to a 38.  But, after reading Charlie Stone's suggestions and comparing their chart with my measurements, I ordered a 37 and it fits perfectly.  So, please, please pay attention to sizing and measure your foot for total accuracy!

I threw in the little black cat bag to suggest an animal familiar and also just because this bag is so adorable I didn't want to wait until Halloween to be able to use it.  I just wish it were a little more balanced.  Unlike real cats it likes to flip over and fall on its head a lot!

Unboxing these shoes was delightful and wearing them is even better.  I can't wait to bring you more outfit ideas with these Texago flats and hopefully there will be more Charlie Stone collaborations in the future.

Shopping Info:  Texugo Mustard Flats from Charlie Stone,  Shoes-$120, Belle Poque Sailor Top-$22, Belle Poque Skirt-$28, Wand-$8, Gemvie Fascinator Hat-$20, Black Cat Crossbody Bag-$22, YeMak Sweater-$22

What is Cottage Core

Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you've even engaged in it without knowing it, and you've definitely seen it.  We're talking about Cottage Core on the blog today.  What is it and how you can embrace it?  Simply put, cottage core is a pastoral aesthetic calling to mind images of traditional old English countryside scenes with rosy cheeked farm girls with wild curls cascading down their shoulders in pinafores made of airy fabrics gathering flowers into baskets or leading sheep out to pasture.

So why has it suddenly taken center stage in the fashion and photography world?  Well, the main theme behind Cottage Core is simple living, hearth, home, and garden and with everyone staying closer to home for most of 2020 and into 2021 as well, it's only natural that people began to look at the idealized versions of life close to home.  Baking bread, tending gardens, spending afternoons under the trees instead of at the office.  The bad news about this fashion movement is that it is rather pricey to dress simply.

If you follow any Cottage Core Instagrammers, you'll likely see the same brands coming up over and over and none of them are cheap.  Occasionally you can find a few inexpensive pieces like my pinafore which is made of 100% cotton and only cost $20 on Shein, but for the most part, Cottage Core seems to be an all-in way of life and a big financial investment.  But, well made garments from natural fibers may be worth investing considering they last for a long time and are very comfortable.  So, let's talk about the top Cottage Core brands.

1.  Little Women Atelier.  This Russian based brand creates handmade 100% linen clothing with four basic styles of dresses each one named after the sisters from Little Women.  In addition to dresses they also create aprons, vests, skirts, and blouses in a variety of pastels and earth tones. Dresses typically cost $240.   I've searched the resale sites, but never seen one of these dresses turn up for sale.  So, sadly, if you want one of these, you'll probably have to buy it retail or wait for a sale.  But, these styles are so gorgeous and feminine, I think it's quite likely that no one wants to part with their purchases from Little Women Atelier.

2.  Sonde Flor.  Another great brand highly favorited by #cottagecore Instagrammers.  Based in Lithuania, this company specializes in natural, modest, comfortable dresses.  All the dresses are handmade of 100% linen with a variety of styles to choose from.  They also create embroidered collars, petticoats, blouses, and skirts.  Like LWA, these dresses are rarely thrifted.  I'd like to think it's because customer satisfaction is so high and the quality is so good that they last for years.

3.  FP One by Free People.  With natural cotton fabric and loads of delicate feminine details and Victorian inspired designs, FP One is my favorite brands for cottage core blouses.  Tops like Sydney blouse that I'm wearing in this post and the Roselind blouse, shown at the right, cost around $100.  These tops turn up frequently on resale sites like Poshmark and you can find them in New condition for around $30-$50.  So, if this brand isn't in your budget, don't lose heart, just start thrifting.

4.  Nour and the Merchant  Taking Cottage Core beyond.  This shop specializes not just in handmade goods but slow fashion.  While there are some ready made pieces, most fabrics are not made until an order is placed.  First the fabric must be made and then the garment is made.  So, shipping time can be quite long, but you are guaranteed to have something special and unique.  Pieces from this shop range in price from $200-$300 and even if you can't afford to buy, it's worth it to stop by the shop and dream a little.

And quiet dreaming is really what this movement is all about.  It's about the blissful and the simple life of eras past.  Even if you can't afford the fashion, you can still embrace the lifestyle.  More long skirts and natural fabrics, more time baking treats, picking flowers and reading novels beneath the trees.  Breathe a little easier, live a little slower, and dream a little more.

Solitary Refinement

I went to a "party" this weekend.  I have to use the quotes because it's such a relative term.  As a grown-up parties are a lot different than when I was a kid or a teen, or even when I was at university.  This "party" was very causal and a lot of fun and not really a big deal, except it's me and it was a group of strangers and have social anxiety to spare, so it's a pretty big deal.

I'm an introvert by nature and by choice.  What I mean by that is that while we cannot control the disposition with which we are born, we absolutely control the extent to which we allow that disposition and its tendencies to control our lives.  Very often we're told that someone was "born this way" which basically means there's nothing to be done.  Throw your hands up in the air, it's all over.  If being the way you are works for you, then by all means, keep it up!  But, if you find that it is holding you back from living the kind of life you want then you must struggle against it and rein it in.  If your "comfort zone" is more like a prison it's time to break free.  It is possible to modify your nature.

The best place to start is by getting to know yourself i.e. your personality type, dispositions, your strengths and weaknesses and the things about you that are holding you back.  For me, it takes a lot of effort to reach out to people and make friends.  I have to push myself way outside of my comfort zone in order to do that because everyone needs friends.  It will never be in my nature to do this, but by repeated effort it does get easier.  People like me need to admit we can't do everything by ourselves; we need to reach out to others.

If you're on the other side of the spectrum and you're a very outgoing person who loves having people around but you can't seem to get others to stay in your life, maybe you need to pull back a bit.  I'll use an acquaintance named Dawn as an example.  She is a social butterfly and because of that she hates being alone.  She's a relationship junkie in every kind of relationship--she doesn't have many but they're all very unhealthy.  She is so desperate for friendship that people find her cloying and needy and her desperation repels them.  Dawn needs to learn to be content all alone.  She needs to be complete by herself and stop trying to get others to meet all her needs.

One day Dawn was in tears over all this.  She was so lonely and had no idea why people kept avoiding her, and why all her relationships were so toxic, but I did.  So, I spoke to her about it and suggested some behavior modifications, specifically that she needed to work on being alone and finding fulfillment in other ways because people felt used and drained by her.  Don't worry, I was nice when I said it.  Dawn's response?  I just can't, I've just always been like this!  That was also the excuse she used for being chronically late for work and turning in assignments, she said, "I've just always been a slow-poke," but her boss felt that it was more of a choice and wrote her up for it.  Since Dawn wanted to keep her job, she made it a priority to modify her behavior in the form of setting an alarm and keeping a task list.  She changed that behavior that she deemed to be detrimental, but the last time I saw her she was still clinging to her stubborn nature and feeling incredibly unhappy about it rather than working to change the things that were within her control.

Self discipline is an up-hill all the way battle but that hill definitely gets less steep the more you keep going.  A rare few people are blessed a balanced nature; most of us need a little work from time to time to keep ourselves in check and I'm  no exception to that.  I'm a very shy, lonesome person, but as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that we all need people, I need people in my life, and my shy nature was holding me back.  

Some people will always be outgoing, but they don't have to be domineering and codependent.  I'll always be a lonesome person, but my solitary nature can take a little refinement so that it doesn't hold me back from enjoying my life.   It may take some hard work and you will definitely be out of your comfort zone, but maybe that's the thing that's been holding you back all along.  It's time to break free.  It's time to live your life and love it.

Shopping Info:  Starry Cosmos Dress from Teuta Matoshi  Heels from ThredUp.  Use this link to sign up and save $20 off your first purchase.

A Summer Hat

Hats are perhaps one of the most versatile and functional of all accessories.  Something that keeps you warm in the winter and cool in the summer and yet can be as frilly and fabulous as any dress.  I've always thought it a little unfortunate that they're not as popular as they were in vintage styles, but they definitely still lend that air of elegance to any look and give it that vintage flare.  

I'm so excited that one of my favorite vintage brands, Gowntown Vintage has added this little fascinator hat to their line of vintage style clothing.  It comes in black or white and costs a reasonable $15.99 on Amazon.  And you can get it for an extra 20% off with code loveleandra

I decided to style mine with their Gingham Cape Collar dress, as it has become a summer favorite and a white hat seems appropriate for the season.  White feels cooler at this time of year which is probably what sparked the old fashion rule of switching to white after Memorial Day and wearing it until Labor Day, you know, the hottest months of the year.

I've been thinking a lot about traditions lately, fashion and otherwise.  Perhaps I've been all too apt to brush them aside.  Maybe it's time I started bringing them back.  We'll start with hats and wearing white in the summer and see where this leads.

Shopping Info:  White Fascinator Hat from Gowntown Vintage-$15.99, Use code loveleandra to save 20% off this hat.  1950s Cape Collar Swing Dress from Gowntown Vintage-$36.99

Sewing En Plein Air

While I adore sitting around the fireside working on my little projects in the winter, it's quite the opposite in fairer weather.  In fact, I usually put all my sewing projects away until late fall or winter set in so that I can devote myself to all the outdoor projects that demand one's attention on a farm, but this year in April, I saw this cute beachy fabric and wanted to have a sundress ready in time for our oceanside vacation.  I let the fabric and pattern sit gathering a fine layer of spring pollen for several weeks, trying to rouse myself get out the sewing machine and get started.

When there's a task to be done that seems more like a grind than a pleasure, sometimes the very best things you can do is change the scenery a little.  Years ago when my children were little, homeschooling indoors when the sun was shining and the birds were singing just felt like a punishment and their eyes were forever drifting over to the window and all the things going on outside.  To remedy that, we took our books and a blanket and went outside to finish the day's lessons.  

It was so refreshing just to be outside.  Suddenly it felt less like a chore and more like a reward.  Taking a cue from those school days, I had a sewing task to complete and I was not looking forward to it since my sewing machine has been a constant source of woes for the past year.  In spite of all my efforts to maintain and fix the machine, it just isn't cooperating.  I think I have it working for the moment I felt stressed and rushed trying to complete this dress before the machine broke again.

Sometimes all it takes to have renewed energy and a fresh perspective is a change of location.  I loved this beachy fabric and I was excited to have the dress, but the thought of struggling with this machine again filled me with dread.  It was such a beautiful day outside and sitting in a stuffy room, fighting with pins and papers, and needles just didn't feel like the best way to spend my day.....but this task needed to be done.

As I sat in front of my machine, staring past it out the bright window at the forest and flowers, the solution presented itself.  Why not bring the machine to the outdoors and enjoy a little sewing en plein air.  

This small change worked marvelously!  Maybe the fresh air helped clear my head, or maybe the bright sunshine provided better lighting and I managed to fix one of the issues I've been having with my sewing machine, but whatever the case, I managed to get most of the dress finished in just the few short hours I spent outside.  Plus, I had plenty of company from my favorite feline photo bombers.

I'm not sure why I've never thought of this before now, but I truly enjoyed sewing in the great outdoors and I know my animal friends were glad of the company too.  So, maybe this will be the beginning of a new tradition of summer sewing followed by afternoon tea under the trees.

Shopping Info:  
Cotton + Steel Rifle Paper Co Amalfi Sun Girls Natural from Fabric.com-$10.79/yd, Belle Poque Women Vintage Inspired Tie Neck Blouse Short Sleeve Cropped Top-$21.99, Banned Apparel Shirt from Poshmark, Pink Skirt From ChicWish

Beauty at Any Age

 “I don't believe in aging. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun.”

- Virginia Woolf

 

It's almost that time of year again, when I turn over another year on the calendar.  And once again I find myself stumbling across Facebook photos of yet another of my 40-something friends who has opted for plastic surgery rather than accept her age.  Am I crazy to think we can and should age a little more naturally?  I'm always a little disappointed when I see this because I was looking at them to be my example and show me how to have grace and class without desperately giving in to the pressure to be forever-young.  But they always do, especially in their 40s.  And the result is not usually someone who looks much younger, but rather someone who's trying to seem like they are younger and it's pitiable rather than enviable.

The 40s seem to be that in-between phase where women still feel young and vivacious but are considered "old" by society.  They're told they are no longer relevant, attractive, desirable, etc. while at the same time many of them have daughters who are just beginning to get attention and it can create rivalries (which is basically the entire premise of that sad show Cougar Town).  As someone who started going gray at seven years old and is now as salt and peppery as a venerable grandmother, I understand not wanting to look old before your time.  And I'm all for spending quality time on your appearance at every age.  It's part of self-care.  A stylish wardrobe, a little make-up, a little color on your hair and a little Photo Shop smoothing tool in your photos, those are all good things, but at a certain point people take it too far and it stops looking nice and begins looing freakish.  When a person reaches a certain ratio of gray hair, there's just no amount of highlighting that can cover it.  There's only so much smoothing you can do in  Photo shop before it begins to look plastic.  There has to be some measure of acceptance to aging and even better if it can be joyfully embraced.  So, let's talk about aging a a few things that you can do at whatever age you currently are to skip the scalpel and age naturally and gracefully.  *throughout this post you're going to see links which will take you to articles and studies about each topic for further reading.

7.  Eat Well.  Having homeschooled my children and then worked at their school I used this analogy often:  Your body is a house that you're building.  If you use cheap junky materials you're going to have a cheap junky product.  If you use high quality materials you're going to have a strong solid house.  Put healthy foods into your body, plenty of protein from meat and fish for muscle building vitamins, fruits and vegetables for vitamins and fiber, and whole grain carbohydrates for energy, and healthy fats are so good for you.  Save the refined carbohydrates and sugar for occasional treats.   Unfortunately the opposite is usually true of our diets in this country.  Most of our calories come from sugar and refined carbs which leads to a host of health problems in the long term like diabetes, gallstones, estrogen imbalance, etc.  Poor diet can also lead to poor sleep.

6.  Sleep Well.  Sleeping well sets you up for aging well as studies have shown that getting enough quality sleep each night puts you at a reduced risk of things like cancer, heart attack, depression, weight gain, and the list goes on.  During sleep your body is repairing itself outside and inside, keeping your immune system healthy and better able to fight off illness.  Studies have also shown that this is also the time when your brain is flushing toxins which probably why sleeping well improves memory and reduces depression.  As someone who has struggled with insomnia for most of her life, I've become a bit of a self-taught expert at relaxation techniques and optimal bedtime routines, both of which are important for a good night's sleep.  One of the best ways to improve your quality of sleep is to get plenty of exercise.

5.  Exercise.  Exercise has been shown to increase the amount of deep sleep a person gets and deep sleep is when most of the body's restoration occurs.  Beyond an improved quality of sleep, exercise reduces stress, anxiety, depression--all of which can cause you to age quickly--, and contributes to healthy weight maintenance.  Think of it, depression and anxiety can be managed without expensive prescriptions that carry dangerous side effects.  Exercise is free and the only side effects are weight loss and better sleep.  Exercise also promotes better circulation which makes your skin healthier and look younger.

4.  Skin Care.  If you don't have a skin care regimen, Get One and then stick to it daily for the rest of your life.  Skin care should be like brushing your teeth and showering, it's just something you do daily as part of your self-care routine.  Keep in mind that your routine and the products you use should change each decade or so.  I've been using Mary Kay since I was in my early 20s and one of the things I love about it is that they have a different line for each phase of life.  I'm soon to start my nightly retinol + skin milk creams since I'm beginning to have fine lines and wrinkles.  It's also important to apply skin creams not just to your face but also to your neck, chest, and hands, and anywhere that gets tons of sun exposure.  Don't avoid the sun, just plan on it with before and after care products.  

3. Socialize.  We need people in our lives.  I don't know if it's the mid-west, or America in general, but it's like pulling teeth to get people here to leave their houses for any reason.  I've been stood up more times for lunch dates in the past few years living here than I have in all the other years of my life combined.  It's harder than ever to tear people away from their computers and phones for real conversation and interaction.  The thing is this:  we're social creatures; we need each other.  Studies have shown that having an active social life  adds quality and quantity to your life.  You'll live a better life and live it for longer when you have close family and friendships than if you sit at home alone.

2.  Keep Learning.  Learning new skills and trying new things is exercise for your brain.  At a certain point most people lose interest in keeping up with the times, but that can be detrimental to your health.  By trying new things, you're using more of your brain and creating new connections as well.  And keep in mind that hands on skills are far, far better than anything digital, so a video game habit just won't do the trick.  Plus, trying new things is really fun, especially when you make it a social event.

1.  Forgive Daily.  This one is truly the number one thing that you can do.  Forgiving people who've hurt you, forgiving yourself, letting go of circumstances beyond your control; all of these things lead to less stress, less anger, depression, and anxiety, better sleep, and better relationships.  All of that aggression, stress, and resentment lead to premature aging and a reduced quality of life.  In other words, you'll wear that bitterness on your face.  Forgiveness does more than just improve your health; it sets you free.  And, it's something you should do at the end of each day to keep your heart and your mind free of bitterness.  Make forgiving people, including yourself part of your nightly routine and you'll soon see a huge difference in how well you sleep and your outlook on life.

While I think that there are times when surgery can be a very good thing for a person's self esteem, more often that not, it is a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable or deny reality.  And, I do understand the pressure on women in particular to stay young and beautiful forever.  My dear reader, I want you to know that your beauty doesn't come from a number.  Beauty is not your age, your weight, or your cup size.  True beauty comes from a joyful, healthy life that is lived to the fullest and all of these steps will help you live your best and happiest life.

Shopping Info:  Gerbera Pink Dress from TeutaMatoshi.com  Use this link to save $50 off your order.