Mind Control

Life is nothing if not a balancing act.   At an unprecedented time of self indulgence across the board in thoughts, words, actions, finances, food, it may be difficult to see the need for temperance, but I assure you that the motto "all things in moderation" will bring you greater happiness than endless gratifying of our wants.  

Everyone has their thing.  You know, the thing they spend way too much time, money and attention on.  For me it's clothes, for others it's tech or food or sports or success, but we all have something that tempts us.  The very best definition of temptation that I have ever heard was just this:  a temptation is a perverted promise meaning one that never delivers.  Although as a side note, I would say that in our current culture, most people have more than one thing; they are in fact out of control in most areas of their lives.

For me, the temptation whispers that if I buy a certain dress I'll be feel happy, beautiful, fulfilled and I'll never want another thing besides that.  But, when it arrives, it's just a dress and even if I feel those things they quickly wear off leaving me to begin the search again somewhat poorer and more desperate than before.  All temptations work this way.  Eating a rich dessert doesn't fix self hatred.  Getting plastic surgery won't fix self confidence.  Having an affair won't fix a marriage.  Playing ten rounds of golf won't make work less of a grind.  But, we tell ourselves, if I could just get this one thing, then we would be happy, we would be complete.  But it is simply not true, and we all find out the hard way.

The good news is that while some people are born with a more temperate nature than others, everyone can develop self-control through repeated practice.  Self-control is like a muscle that gets stronger the more you exercise it.  The more you exercise it, the easier it becomes to practice self-control.  In a world filled with so much indulgence, people are unhappier than ever, because they have failed to learn the simple lesson that more doesn't equal happiness.  Moderation brings fulfillment; self control brings peace.  Happiness comes when you are whole and complete, fulfilled and at peace with yourself.

It's perfectly fine to have things that you enjoy, but when they begin to take first place in your life, you know these actions are out of balance, but actually the best place to begin practicing moderation and self-control is not with your actions but with your thoughts.  Thoughts are the father of actions.  If you can stop the wrong thoughts, you can prevent the wrong actions.  

Everything you do is the result of thoughts.  You may not be aware of how much you are thinking, fixating, and obsessing in your thoughts, but it's worth it to spend some time analyzing what you spend your time thinking about.  No one wakes up one day and has an affair in the same way that no one wakes up one day and drops $75,000 on a sports car.  No, it is the result of much time spent thinking, fantasizing, and planning before any action takes place.  If we were to stop our thoughts the minute we have them instead of dwelling on them, they would not lead to actions which then lead to our detriment or demise.  

If you want to lead a balanced life, begin with what you think.  Pay attention to your thoughts, write them down at least daily and reread them analytically to see where you are out of balance or even engaging in thinking you know is just wrong.  If you're writing down things you'd be ashamed to show anyone, then you absolutely know it's wrong.  But it doesn't have to lead you down a wrong path.

It is far easier to stop a thought than to correct an action, and it's a far happier life when we live thoughtfully, honestly, and in moderation with all things.

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