Create the Occasion

Some of the major holidays may be over but that doesn't mean you can't celebrate.  In a recent online chat, a member of a community I'm in asked the question, "If I don't have any friends, and no where to wear my dresses, should I just sell my collection?"  You can imagine the responses of dress lovers such as myself were overwhelmingly against selling the dresses. Most replied that they wore their dresses at home if no where else and as long as they bring you joy, you should keep them.  I completely agree, but I added this to the thread:  Don't wait for the opportunity to wear your dresses, instead, be pro-active and create the opportunities.

Recently I held a very small gathering for a few co-workers called a "Whine & Cheese Party."  We congregated to eat some amazing little snacks and to air any grievances we had been holding in.  I served Brie, drizzled with honey and toasted pecans, a little warmed Boursin, dried fruits, roasted almonds, a variety of crackers, and I brought some very decadent chocolate truffles as a dessert.  And did I dress for the occasion?  You better believe it.  

I don't have a lot of friends.  In fact these people aren't my friends, or at least they didn't start out that way, but by creating this opportunity for me to do something nice for them and get to know them, I think we're becoming friends.  I genuinely enjoyed spending time with my co-workers, talking and getting to really know them as people, not just colleagues.  Plus, I got to wear a pretty dress.  Everyone wins!

I recently watched Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris for the first time.  It was the newer version, not the original with Angela Lansbury, but it was delightful.  Mrs. Harris has been waiting for her husband to return from the war so long, she's grown old.  She's been a maid cleaning homes for the wealthy while living a meager life.  Then she sees the most beautiful dress in the world, a Christian Dior.  She determines to save up, go to Paris, and buy her own beautiful gown.   It spoke to me in a very personal way, and yet it is universal in the sense that I think there is something in all of us that longs for something special and beautiful, something that seems out of place in our workaday lives but calls to our deepest yearnings all the same.  If you want it, you have to work for it until it is within reach and then take hold of it and never let go no matter how silly it seems or what other people say.

I remember my first pretty dress.  I was in my late 20s, had two children, and my life revolved around the needs of others.  I worked at home cooking, cleaning, educating, and had no reason whatsoever to wear anything nice.  No matter how I tried to create connections with people, that also seemed to fail.  I was lonely and my self esteem was at rock bottom.  I felt invisible to the whole world, including the people who relied on me every single day.  No one seemed to value me in any capacity outside of what I could do for them.  I needed to do something for myself.  I needed to be more than "the maid," even if it was just for a few moments.

Then I saw an ad for the loveliest dress I'd ever seen, the Par Avion dress from ModCloth.  I called my mom and we looked at it together.  I didn't have any money, no way of earning any, and no way to justify the expense.  Then, like the proverbial Christmas miracle, my mom sent me enough money to buy the dress and one more.  It opened a door for me, a door to a part of myself that I thought I would never see again.  It allowed me to grow and live life more on my own terms.  And as far as meeting people goes, I wasn't looking for conversation starters, but more people approach me to compliment my dresses than I could have ever imagined. 

Don't wait for the life you dream of; do the work and make your dreams happen.  If you want something, a pretty dress or anything else, don't wait for the opportunity to buy it or wear it; create the opportunities for both.  And, who knows, you might meet some people and make some new friends in the process.

Shopping Info:  Porcelain Shrug Dress from ZJOAN, Flats from SHEIN