True Self Care

I repeatedly run into people with a grand misconception of the definition of Self-Care.  I also frequently run into people who are legally adults but have no idea what it means to actually be an adult.  Not a year goes by when I don't meet someone in their 30s or 40s who says something along the lines of, "I don't eat vegetables; I only eat what I like."  Not many people eat greens, bran, etc. because  they like them.  They eat them because they're adults and as adults they recognize that we do what is best for us even if we don't always like it.  And let's face it we usually don't like it, at first anyway.

Much of what people today label as "self-care" is really just a justification for self-indulgence.  I'm not opposed to self-indulgence now and then, have you seen my wardrobe?  But, if you have to justify something it means you know it's wrong.  Occasional self indulgence is fine, but it has nothing to do with self-care.  Self care involves many things that are for your own good but not necessarily enjoyable.  The easiest way to distinguish between the two is wants vs. needs.  Self care is things you need like rest, healthy food, relaxation, exercise.  Self-indulgence is things that you want like shopping sprees, junk food, manicures, tech gadgets.  

Today's pretty dress along with everything I buy from Selkie falls under the category of self-indulgence and don't I know it.  It's 100% a want not a need.  The vacation I'm on in these photos, that is an overlap that felt more like a need than a want because all we did on this trip was sleep, eat, take walks and talk a lot.  Coming on the heels of the busiest week of my year after which I usually get sick because my immune system is worn down, I wanted to take some time to recover to head off illness, but I could also have done that at home, and so you see the overlap.

It's not popular to say among certain internet circles, but the fact is our bodies are made for physical exertion.  We need exercise, and without it we get stressed, we get ill, and things break down.  Exercise may be about weight loss or muscle gain, but the very best reason to do it is simply because you need to even if you don't want to.  Truth is, I hate exercise.  It sucks.  But I love the way I feel afterwards, so I keep doing it not because it's what I want but because it's what I need so that I can keep feeling good and having energy.  

I exercise each week, 2-4 times a week for 30-90 minutes a day (usually broken up over morning and evening stints, so a 30 minute weight training session in the morning and a 30 minute walk in the evening) is my goal, not because I love lifting heavy things or jumping around until I'm out of breath, but because I know that in order to sleep well and just generally be well, I need to be active.  

Do I always reach my goals?  No.  Do I hate myself for it?  Nope.  Because it's not something I'm going to reach a goal, or just for a certain amount of time.  Exercise is just something I have made part of my life, like flossing my teeth or trimming my nails.  I don't beat myself up if I forget to floss for a couple of days, because I know I'll get back to it again.

Exercise and healthy eating aren't the only things you need to be well.  Self care means saying no to another obligation when you already have a full schedule and are completely stressed.  It means soaking in mineral water or getting a massage to ease stress.  It means taking your vitamins and shutting your screens off an hour before bed so you can wind down and sleep well.  They are little things that really that add up to a healthier you.  Not for a fad, not for a trend, and not for anyone else.  Do it for you so you can feel your very best and love your life.  Take care of yourself and you'll be able to take better care of everyone and everything in your life.

Shopping Info: Kilburn Wildflower Day Dress from Selkie, Bow Flats from VIVAIA