The End is the Beginning

As each year comes to a close, I often hear talk of new beginnings.  January is filled with resolutions to try harder, do better, and make changes.  I'm all for starting new things, but I always try to keep in mind that all beginnings come with endings and ending can be very hard indeed.  Perhaps that's why we don't speak of them as much as we do of beginnings.

The coming year will bring some new beginnings to each of us, and I am excited for all of them, but the other day I attended the company Christmas party and as I walked around and joked with co workers, talked with friends, I realized just how much I will miss these lovely people that I've grown to care so much about and look forward to seeing each week over the last seven years.

I wish life were filled with easy choices, but it simply isn't.  In my case, this particular decision of which job to keep wasn't between good and bad, or even between the lesser of two evils or the better of two goods.  Both jobs are wonderful and I enjoy them very much.  It all boiled down to numbers and boundaries.  One pays better and asks less, that's all.

But in that moment at that party, I really wondered if I was doing the right thing.  In my heart, I know that my time at that position is over.  I have felt for the past few months that after building it from the ground up, and getting a great program running, I don't really have anything new to offer.  I've been searching for something new to challenge me and somewhere new to be a value.  In short, I just know in my heart that it's time to move on, but I am still sad to go.

Perhaps this is why so many people say, "We'll keep in touch," even though they know they won't.  It just softens the reality of partings and endings of happy things to think in some small way we can keep that door open.  Beginnings are exciting.  And, even though they're hard, endings are a beautiful part of beginnings; they're the beginning of beginnings if you look at them from a different perspective.  As Semisonic once said, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

So, as this new year begins and the old one ends, I'll raise my glass to beginnings and the endings that make them possible.

Outfit Info: Samantha Pleet Ophelia Dress in Ivory, Honey Comb Cardigan in Honey from MAK, Qupid Heels from ModCloth are old.