It's been a little over a year ago that I started to take a very hard look at my life to begin to separate the fantasy from the aspirations and the plain old reality. It involved a lot of soul searching, a couple of conversations with my spouse over the direction our lives were heading vs. where we wanted them to go, and then months of home renovations and delcuttering. It has been an overwhelmingly positive experience and I have learned a few things along the way that I wanted to share, and I thought this Lavish Alice dress which I first featured in 2015 (that post here), but which remains a fave, was the perfect pick for today's topic. 
1. Delcuttering Is a Continual Process. Unfortunately clutter finds its way into our homes and lives and getting rid of it is never a one and done thing, not just because new things come along and old things break, but also because our lives change and things that used to suit our schedule, tastes, decor, etc. don't always stay suitable. I went through all my clothes and decluttered. Then waited awhile and went back through and decluttered again. Then a third time, and each time, I was able to whittle down more and more to a core collection of very beloved and/or useful things. I wasn't ready the first time to get rid of some things. Either because I was still using them or just not ready to let go, but eventually, I came around. In fact, just last week I went through everything once again and still found two or three pieces that although I like them, either don't fit well, or have been worn out to the point they need to be thrown away. Decluttering has become part of my deep cleaning routine and things are staying much tidier because of this. However, I want to note that major declutters are usually at the beginning of the process and then become more rare.
2. Start Simply and Slowly. I have seen a number of videos about a No-Buy Year, and I think they're a great idea, but if you're a shopping addict, emotional/theraputic shopper, etc, starting with something as extreme as a No-Buy Year is a great way to set yourself up for failure. For the record I think a No-Buy is a great tool for analyzing spending and changing habits, but it's a top tier habit, not a beginner thing. In the same way that babies start out by taking a wobbly step or two adn then one day, way down the line, maybe run a marathon. The No-Buy is a the marathon, it takes some training to get to that level. First, it's all baby steps. Scale back, start slowly and simply with small things that are achieveable so you can be successful and then build on that foundation. I started by just journaling every single day if I spent money or shopped, on what, and how I was feeling that day. In this way, I really identified my patterns so that I could begin to create a strategy for success. The next step was to schedule other activities on days I knew were likely to trigger a shopping spree that would help me cope with my stress in a positive way.
3. Nothing Forbidden. In the same vein as a No-Buy year, for some of us, when something is forbidden, we become obsessed with it. This has been identified as a major reason why so many diets fail. Tell people who eat a normal amount of carbs that they're suddenly forbidden and they're likely to obsess and binge to a degree they never did before. However, if you tell them to focus on eating nutrient dense foods instead of cutting anything out, many people will be more successful because they know they can have their favorites if they want them. The same goes for shopping. As much as I would like to stick to a No-Buy, I'm just not strong enough in that area yet. I'll get there, but I need a little more time building good habits and a strong foundation first.
4. You Make the Rules. As much as I have apprecited watching Youtubers' journey with decluttering, this really is a very personal thing and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. I think there are plenty of people out there who tried delcuttering in the Kon-Marie method and later regretted getting rid of things they actually really wanted around. While it can't hurt to try it someone else's way, the fact is you have to do what works for you not Marie Kondo or Margareta Magnusson. Glean what you can from the experiences of others and then find your own path. There are no police for this; you make the rules, so make them to suit your life and tastes. Personally, I realized that I have no interest in being a minimalist; it's just not me, and that's perfectly OK.
I've mentioned already that I have tried to make 2024 a Low Buy year and decluttering regularly has been a part of that. Have I done perfectly? Nope. However, as I continue this process, I am feeling stronger, more at peace, and more content and that is what keeps me going. When I slip up, I don't quit; I keep right on going because the only way I can actually fail this is if I give up.
Outfit Info: Lavish Alice Grommet Dress was thrifted back in 2015. Heels were thrifted from ThredUp several years ago too.
