Date Night Simplicity

I love to dress up for special occasions which includes date night, but in the heat of summer or in the hustle and bustle of a busy life, date night doesn't have to be a complicated thing.  Sometimes it's just as simple as grabbing a thrifted cotton little black dress, throwing on some pearls and some comfortable loafers and enjoying a little time with the person you love.  This Anthropologie dress cost me about $15 thrifted and it's very light and comfy.  Perfect for enjoying an outdoor dinner and drinks at one of our favorite restaurants.  And if it's a little too humid out for heels, I think this dress would look just as cute with sandals.

Outfit Info:  Anthropologie Dress is thrifted, Life Stride Loafers are thrifted, pearl clutch is vintage

 

Decluttering Lessons

It's been a little over a year ago that I started to take a very hard look at my life to begin to separate the fantasy from the aspirations and the plain old reality.  It involved a lot of soul searching, a couple of conversations with my spouse over the direction our lives were heading vs. where we wanted them to go, and then months of home renovations and delcuttering.  It has been an overwhelmingly positive experience and I have learned a few things along the way that I wanted to share, and I thought this Lavish Alice dress which I first featured in 2015 (that post here), but which remains a fave, was the perfect pick for today's topic.

1.  Delcuttering Is a Continual Process.  Unfortunately clutter finds its way into our homes and lives and getting rid of it is never a one and done thing, not just because new things come along and old things break, but also because our lives change and things that used to suit our schedule, tastes, decor, etc. don't always stay suitable.  I went through all my clothes and decluttered.  Then waited awhile and went back through and decluttered again.  Then a third time, and each time, I was able to whittle down more and more to a core collection of very beloved and/or useful things.  I wasn't ready the first time to get rid of some things.  Either because I was still using them or just not ready to let go, but eventually, I came around.  In fact, just last week I went through everything once again and still found two or three pieces that although I like them, either don't fit well, or have been worn out to the point they need to be thrown away.  Decluttering has become part of my deep cleaning routine and things are staying much tidier because of this.

2.  Start Simply and Slowly.  I have seen a number of videos about a No-Buy Year, and I think they're a great idea, but if you're a shopping addict, emotional/theraputic shopper, etc, starting with something as extreme as a No-Buy Year is a great way to set yourself up for failure.  For the record I think a No-Buy is a great tool for analyzing spending and changing habits, but it's a top tier habit, not a beginner thing.  In the same way that babies start out by taking a wobbly step or two adn then one day, way down the line, maybe run a marathon. The No-Buy is a the marathon, it takes some training to get to that level.  First, it's all baby steps.  Scale back, start slowly and simply with small things that are achieveable so you can be successful and then build on that foundation.  I started by just journaling every single day if I spent money or shopped, on what, and how I was feeling that day.  In this way, I really identified my patterns so that I could begin to create a strategy for success.  The next step was to schedule other activities on days I knew were likely to trigger a shopping spree that would help me cope with my stress in a positive way.

3.  Nothing Forbidden.  In the same vein as a No-Buy year, for some of us, when something is forbidden, we become obsessed with it.   This has been identified as a major reason why so many diets fail.  Tell people who eat a normal amount of carbs that they're suddenly forbidden and they're likely to obsess and binge to a degree they never did before.  However, if you tell them to focus on eating nutrient dense foods instead of cutting anything out, many people will be more successful because they know they can have their favorites if they want them.  The same goes for shopping.  As much as I would like to stick to a No-Buy, I'm just not strong enough in that area yet.  I'll get there, but I need a little more time building good habits and a strong foundation first.

4.  You Make the Rules.  As much as I have apprecited watching Youtubers' journey with decluttering, this really is a very personal thing and there is no one-size-fits-all approach.  I think there are plenty of people out there who tried delcuttering in the Kon-Marie method and later regretted getting rid of things they actually really wanted around.  While it can't hurt to try it someone else's way, the fact is you have to do what works for you not Marie Kondo or Margareta Magnusson.  Glean what you can from the experiences of others and then find your own path.  There are no police for this; you make the rules, so make them to suit your life and tastes.  Personally, I realized that I have no interest in being a minimalist; it's just not me, and that's perfectly OK.

I've mentioned already that I have tried to make 2024 a Low Buy year and decluttering regularly has been a part of that.  Have I done perfectly?  Nope.  However, as I continue this process, I am feeling stronger, more at peace, and more content and that is what keeps me going.  When I slip up, I don't quit; I keep right on going because the only way I can actually fail this is if I give up.

Outfit Info:  Lavish Alice Grommet Dress was thrifted back in 2015.  Heels were thrifted from ThredUp several years ago too.

Date Expectations

In January I heard a million and half people say that 2020 was over and 2021 was going to be better.  Has it?  My year thus far has been just as chaotic and stressful as last year.  We're only two months in, so I haven't given up hope, but I am sort of white knuckling it and praying for spring.

Ok, we had a year of lockdowns and now a full week of snow days. Plus I had a cold and a broken toe to contend with while trying to feed the animals and water them and keep my house warm on my snow days.  After all that, I'm good; I'm all set.  I'd like to go outside now and do things again.

In the meantime, while 2021 gets itself sorted, One last red dress before February slips away.  There are two times of year when I like to roll out the red dresses: Christmas and Valentine's.  I thought of going out and taking some red dress pics in all the snow just to have them in advance for Christmas, but the temperature was in the negative numbers.  I love taking blog photos but I also love not having pneumonia or frost bite, so snow photos will just have to wait.

I still haven't had a night out for Valentine's day or just for a general date night due to the extreme winter weather we're having and I am so, so looking forward to it when it finally happens.  I know exactly where we're going and what I'm ordering and which art exhibit we'll be visiting afterwards.  (A lot of the museums in our area are now open by appointment.)

The outfit is still undecided, but this red peplum wiggle dress from Collectif is high in the running.  I have a similar dress from Stop Staring, but this one has a thinner fabric with a little more stretch and I love a peplum to bring balance to my shape. 

I don't mind the wait for things that matter.  In fact I think it makes them all the sweeter when they do arrive, and as I've mentioned, it gives me time to sort out all the details instead of, "Where do you want to go?  I don't know, where do you want to go?"  Nuh, no.  When we do finally go out, it will be with purpose and confidence and expectation.  

Dress from: Collectiflondon.com

Pumpkin Spice Cupcake Dress

Is it too much to ask to have a cupcake dress for all seasons?  I think not.  Unique Vintage's description calls it "mocha" but I think the colors are so much closer to a pumpkin spice that I've decided to officially make this my autumn cupcake dress! (keep reading for a promo code for UV to save 10% off your next purchase!)

 

There is something about this style that I just cannot get over.  I have it in two other colors, and I adore them all, but I particularly love it when this style has a contrast belt.  It really shows off the shape of the gown so much better and adds even more visual appeal to the overall design.  But, no matter the color, you really can't go wrong with this dress.  The only question is to what event will I wear this dress?

Sometimes, I miss my old life in Japan.  I've traded in the big city and the fast paced lifestyle for a little house in the country where we raise animals and have a garden and I take tea in the afternoons.  It's lovely, really.  But, there were certain aspects of city life at which I thrived.  Life went to hell in the last year there making this dramatic change necessary for my family and me.  I suppose it was always the goal though, we just had to move things up a bit. 

In many ways that traumatic last year has blemished my entire experience there, but there were a couple of things that weren't so bad.  Namely, and in the context of this post, I miss the opportunities to go to formal events several times a year and fine restaurants any time the mood struck.  I miss talking about it, planning for it, and of course I miss the events themselves.  I miss seeing the shine everyone put on and hearing the enthusiasm in the voices chattering at well laid tables or gliding around the dance floor.

Going from Tokyo, Japan to rural middle America has been a total change to our way of life.  And in that change I have noticed a few things.  For example, how often in our current culture do many of us get the opportunity to go to dance, formal or otherwise?  Or even a nice dinner party for that matter?  Beyond the junior high dances and high school prom, I mean.  And night clubs are--well, clubs.

How often do we even go to a big party?  It might be different where you live, but here in rural America the answer is pretty much never.  I don't know about you, but I find that totally unacceptable.  We used to be a total party country using any excuse to gather and celebrate; now everyone's wearing stretchy pants and binge watching Netflix.  What happened America?

And don't blame Covid.  This has been going on for at least 25 years.  Go back to the books written in the 1700s, 1800s, even up to the 1960s and you'll see the seasonal traditions of well dressed folks dancing, drinking, eating, laughing.  There were school concerts, and church dinners, and town dances.  Now we're lucky to get people to show up at all and we're grateful if they show up in their "nice" sweat pants.

Well, whatever the case, I've had enough.  I'm going to be the change I want to see.  I'm officially boycotting dressing down for formal events.  No, no, I'm going further than that.  If you send me an invitation, I'm going to dress way the heck up!  I'm talking formal wear to the afternoon office party.

Ok, I'm exaggerating a little, but rather than sit around missing those old opportunities, I do fully intend to just take advantage of every event presented and every invitation issued to dress to the nines.   (By the way, no disrespect to casual clothes.  They have their place--it's just not at a party.  But, I do love chic lounge wear and next week we're going to cover that topic, so keep an eye out for that one.)

And, I can tell you this:  I don't know where, I don't know when, but I will find an excuse to wear this cupcake dress.  Somehow, someway.  It's just too gorgeous to sit around the house on a Saturday night and wait by the phone.  This is the kind of dress that needs to be seen.  So, the gears are turning and I'm already planning.  We'll see what I can put together.

Shopping Info: Unique Vintage 1950s Mocha Ruffled Tulle Cupcake Swing Dress in XS-XL, Use this link to sign up for UV and get 10% off your purchase!

Double Date Night

It's day two of FemmeLuxe week and in yesterday's post I promised there Will be a pretty dress in this month's collab with FemmeLuxe and I always deliver on my promises just like FemmeLuxe always delivers on the pretty dresses. So, why wait any longer, let's get to the pretty dress! A few days ago I did a post about Creative Date Night Destinations. I know it's a little harder right now to find those sorts of events, but never fret, restrictions are easing and the world will open back up again eventually. In the mean time it does not hurt to dream and start planning. I hope you are already thinking of places to go, even making some reservations. We all need things to look forward to and things to celebrate in life.

For our creative date night this month Mr. Bleu and I decided to go all out and make it a double date night. By this, I don't mean that we went out with another couple for that classic double date, diner bowling experience—although that would have been loads of fun and I'll keep it in mind for some date night down the road. Instead we booked a couple of nights in a gorgeous little Victorian Carriage house. 

Just as it sounds, it is a tiny three storey carriage house that has been converted into an air B&B just big enough for two and it was heavenly to have the privacy and the quiet of this darling little house all to ourselves. I did not miss the sounds of drunken neighbors tromping up stairs and fumbling with room keys at 3 a.m. Also, I should note that we opted to go Sunday through Tuesday when all the weekend party traffic has shuffled home and the town in notably less populated and generally more peaceful.

On Monday we had a lovely breakfast at our favorite local cafe and then spent three hours wandering through parks and along city trails before returning to the carriage house for a long nap. NO photos of this pretty little house unfortunately, we were too busy relaxing. Taking photos can be laborious and is quiet detail oriented—read into this that it makes my OCD go into overdrive—so I decided to just take it all in and make memories instead. But, two nights away from home, children and responsibility free, definitely called for a pretty dress to wear as we went out on the town.

There's nothing like a slinky dress for date night, especially when it's night of walking around, taking in the sights, popping into a pub now and then to chat over drinks and appetizers. I chose this Wine Ruched Midi BodyconDress – Taylor for the occasion. Made of stretchy fabric for a close and comfortable fit, this Wine Ruched Midi Bodycon Dress –Taylor is the perfect color for autumn. It is also fully ruched which is the perfect addition to bodycon dresses to create camouflage for trouble zones. It's a post quarantine world, we've all got some trouble zones now, but that doesn't mean we can't wear a bodycon dress, it just means we need the right bodycon dress. For the Taylordress, I would almost recommend sizing down one size so you really get a form fitted look. I'm wearing the Taylor dress in 6UK and I feel like I could go one size smaller. But, definitely check FemmeLuxe's size chart and compare your measurements with theirs before making your decision.

With a slinky bodycon dress like the Taylor dress, I like to keep it simple on accessories. I don't think you need lots of belt, jackets, and hype—Ok, it's autumn, so maybe you will need a jacket, but that is it. The dress does it all just as a good dress should. Maybe a necklace, definitely some earrings, and a nice pair of pumps and you are all set for a fantastic date night. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it, don't let a few quarantine pounds stop you from looking and feeling beautiful. Know how to dress your shape and you'll love the results no matter how your size changes. Come back tomorrow for a decidedly more causal look as I kick back and relax in one of FemmeLuxe's Loungewear Sets. See you then!

Shopping Info: WineRuched Midi Bodycon Dress – Taylor from FemmeLuxe.co.uk, Heels from ThredUp