It's All in the Outlook

The English language is a fascinating thing.  Two words can mean exactly the same thing and yet one feels negative and one feels positive.  Take the title of today's post for example.  If you look up the words "rut" and "groove" in a thesaurus or dictionary they're listed as synonyms; they're even used to define each other on Dictionary.com

Yet, even though these two words are so closely related they're used to describe each other, they vibe differently.  For example, If I say I'm in a fashion rut, people respond with, aw, I'm sorry.  If I say I'm in a fashion groove, people respond with, hey, good for you.  Rut implies I'm stuck repeating the same behavior, I'm bored with it and probably frustrated too.  Groove implies that I've found a path that works for me and now life feels a little easier thanks to it.  What's the difference?  The difference is the way I feel about the behavior I'm repeating.

Lately, I've been wondering if I'm stuck in a rut.  I began to wonder if maybe this style was still working for me or if it was time to change.  After much contemplation, what I realized is that personally, in my private life, I actually think I'm in the groove.  My style works for me quite well, to the point where my mornings are easier because I know that each day I'll be wearing a dress/cardigan/flats combo.  It's my daily uniform and quite frankly, I still think it's darling.  I get excited to wear my dresses and to mix and match them with different cardis, belts, accessories, etc. so that even though I'm wearing a dress for the umpteenth time, it feels like a whole new look each time.

So, if I'm happy with my wardrobe, my style and my overall look, what am I stressing about?   I realized what I'm worried about is the blog/my social media style.  Once I realized that, I felt...well, really silly at first for caring so much about social media and then beyond relieved that I didn't suddenly hate my clothes and have to start all over with a fresh look.  And thank God, because my bank account definitely couldn't handle that.

I do wish that I had more time to create interesting and fresh outfits to post here like I did in previous years, but as it stands, between the renovation and going from part-time to full-time work, I really only get the time to take outfit photos once every couple of months and it's usually about 1.5 hours before sunset when I try to squeeze in as many outfits as possible in the same spot in my yard where I know the light will last the longest.  That time frame doesn't allow for locations or even a lot of thoughtful accessorizing or hair/makeup changes.  It is what it is.  This is my life right now, and honestly if you don't like dresses and cardigans, probably best you just move on, because they're not going anywhere.

I think I'm in my groove.  Yes, the Twee Girl phase was, like, soooo 2012, but wasn't Twee just reviving the 1950s/60s.  Quite frankly I think this style is pretty timeless and it will serve me well as I age and as my life changes.  I sort of feel silly for feeling "too old" to wear this style.  If there's one thing I love, it's an older lady with fashion flare, and I won't mind at all if that's what I am or am becoming.

Outfit Info:  YeMak Cardigan, Princess Highway Dress, Amazon shoes

Same Stuff, Different Outfit

Starting my year with a No Buy (I promise I'm going to stop talking about it soon, but not in this post) had a lot of positive outcomes.  For one thing, it took a lot of the guess work out of what i was going to wear.  As in previous years, I did a seasonal capsule wardrobe and just rotated through it for three months.  Of that capsule, I had about 6 work dresses/outfits that I wore on a bi-weekly rotation, and it saved me time in the morning by not having to figure out what to wear.

Another thing it did was really forced me to shop my closet a lot and I found that I really enjoyed it.  At this point in the game, I really don't need to buy anything other than replacing my shoes each year as they wear out.  Anytime I want to experiment or mix things up all I really just need to dig through my storage bins to find the things I want to make an outfit work.

For my No Buy challenge, I decided that all the targeted ads I was seeing were part of the problem.  I knew I had to strictly limit my social media time in order to avoid the temptation from all the shopping ads.  It worked like a charm...in a way.  I decided to draw, cover lampshades, and be creative instead of shopping.  However, the depression and anxiety that accompanied being denied the dopamine hits I get from shopping and scrolling social media were tough to take.  I had to feel all my feelings, deal with all the situations without my retail therapy or doom scrolling to decompress.  Include in that mix the stress of the holidays, two medical emergencies and a family trip and I really struggled to cope without a crutch for a while.  But, I made it.  And now I know I can.  And that was probably the greatest success to come from this experiment

Getting back on social media, I realized, I really can't have it in my life.  Literally nearly every post in my feed and every email in my inbox, is an ad for something wanting to take my money.  No thank you, I don't want to go back to the desensitization and the mindless buying.  Plus, I don't want to go back to losing hours of my life each day and $$$ from my bank account to the scroll effect.  

Now, this is the part where I must reiterate that I will always love fashion and will likely continue to set aside money for buying clothes, as my break from my No Buy has proven, but I am continuing to be more selective and mindful about what I bring into my life.  To that end, today's outfit is entirely "old" thrift finds of last year and all the way back to things I purchased more than a decade ago.

Normally the blog is the testing ground, where I put outfits together and if I like how they look in photos, then wear them out in the world.  However, since I haven't been doing outfit photos over the winter months, I saw this original fashion photo of this skirt, decided to put my own version together and have been wearing it to work before featuring it here.  I really love this outfit and I'm glad it looks as good in the photos as it looked in my head.

Outfit Info: j.crew top, maybe skirt, remake cardi, seeing flats

Business Whimsical

My daughter had a job interview coming up and the dress code was business/professional.  Having never worked a job like this before, she did not own anything in the way of business clothing.  I offered to let her borrow a few things from my closet for the interview.   The night before, I found her desperately rummaging through my clothes.  "Can I help you find something," I asked.  "Do you have any plain button down shirts,"  she replied.  "I have florals, stripes, and strawberries..., but no, no plain shirts."  She grabbed what she hoped was a plain white poplin button down, but let out an "Ugh!" when she saw that it had scalloped sleeves and collar embroidery.  "Why are all your clothes so whimsical?!"  ...I'm...sorry?  As much as I wanted to help, my clothes are anything but boring.  And while I do work in a professional setting, my style is decidedly business whimsical.

There is a range of business attire from Business Professional, which is the most formal and often involves suits and ties, to Business Casual, which is slacks, skirts, or well fitting dark wash jeans often paired with button down shirts and blazers, but allows more creativity in the form of bright colors, statement prints and jewelry.  Then there's my interpretation of it all. I prefer to wear multiple colors and prints, often with whimsical themes, outfits that say, Yeah, I'm working, but I'm having so much fun I hardly notice.  To that end, I thought I'd post photos of one of my favorite recent outfit compositions.  Nothing new in the mix, all old stuff that I put together and love for all its whimsy and office appropriateness.

Outfit Info:  Skirt is thrifted ModCloth, Top is old from Princess Highway, Bag is Ecosusi, Shoes are B.A.I.T. footwear, Cardigan is old from ModCloth. 

Over 40 Shades of Grey

For the past few years I've been in the care of a holistic health care practitioner.  My regular physician recommended that I pursue holistic treatments out of concern that western medicine's approach would be more harmful than beneficial, so I spoke with several practitioners before finding the person I still currently see.  How is all of this relevant to today's post?  

Well, my CHHP has requested a hair sample for mineral analysis so that we can get the right vitamins and minerals to support my health.  In order to provide that sample I have to grow my hair out several inches.  In the process of growing it out, I am finding out just how grey I've gone since I began coloring my hair seven years ago.  Since my holistic doc doesn't care too much about my photo schedule, I just had to leave the greys and go a little more au naturel in this photo shoot.  So, please pardon my roots but my greys just happen to be the perfect accessory with these VIVAIA boots and my sweater.

Turns out, after not seeing this much of my natural color for so long, I've gone really, really gray.  I'm over 40, with two teenagers in the house, so the fact that I've gone gray is no surprise.  It's not something I love, but since it's for a good cause, I thought I might was well embrace, even celebrate the gray with today's post of VIVAIA's Pandora Mid Calf Grey Boots.  I may not be crazy about my greys, but these grey boots are fantastic!  And, you can save an extra 10% with my code VIVAIA10.

I'm always looking for clothes to keep me warm and comfortable through the winter and these boots are just the ticket.  With low heels on anti-slip rubber soles, I don't have to worry about losing my footing on slick surfaces.  And their soft breathable knit and lace up backs ensure the most comfortable and customized fit. 

And since we are keeping things natural, I should add that these boots are made of a blend of ethically sourced wool and recycled plastic bottles.  The packaging is recycled cardboard, and even the soles are made of recycled rubber.  They're easy to clean and care for.

So, while I may not love my grey, I am thrilled about these VIVAIA boots  and I can't wait to spend the winter in comfort wearing these boots with mini skirts, leather shorts and so many smart styles.

Shopping Info:  Pandora Square-toe Back Lace Mid Calf Boots-$159 from VIVAIA  Save an extra 10% with code VIVAIA10

Princess Highway Traffic Jam

Princess Highway has been the creator of some of my most favorite whimsical prints for several years now including the sweater and skirt I'm wearing in these fall pics.  I first discovered them on ModCloth.  After Modcloth and I peacefully parted ways, I've continued to buy from PH, in fact, I prefer buying directly from PH.  Because they're based in Australia, their seasons are opposite to the US, so basically everything I want is already on sale.  Shipping is a bit high, but the savings usually make up for it and in spite of the distance, my orders always reach me in 2-3 weeks.  Until now.

In July I gave Mr. Bleu a list of two things I wanted from PH for my birthday in August.  The list consisted of the same Fair Isle sweater vest in two different colors and by giving it to him in July, I hoped felt certain they would reach me by my birthday.  I also asked for a cake, a miniature cake done in this very vintage style and offered by a local bakery.  My birthday arrived with no gifts and no cake.  Mr. Bleu apologetically informed me that although he had ordered one of the vests (not two and no cake because he didn't actually bother to read my short and concise list, but merely clicked on a link he saw in the email and called it done) it had never shipped and customer service had only responded one time and said there was a delay. 

By the end of September, after no action had been taken on the order and customer service had stopped answering messages, I advised Mr. Bleu to file for a refund with our credit card company.  He did so and we received a refund.  No other mention of my birthday or a replacement gift was made.  I was disappointed in more ways than one.   Convinced that this was merely a fluke with PH, I placed another order at the end of September.  The color of vest Mr. B ordered was sold out, but the other was still there, so deciding to give myself this birthday gift, I ordered the other vest and three dresses that were on sale.

After three weeks of no movement on my order, the other vest sold out and I received a notification and a refund.  I wrote to customer service to ask what was going on.  I stressed that I didn't mind waiting if only they could give me a time frame.  If I didn't hear from them, I stated that I would seek a refund at the one month mark.  To date I have never received a reply but one month to the day one item from my order did ship out.  It hasn't arrived yet and I'm still waiting on the other two items as I write this. 

I don't know what's happening with PH and after three months or this runaround, I don't even care anymore.  I think when things like this happen (whatever it is) the company exec's first instinct is to hide the problems to prevent their customers from losing confidence in them, but that's the worst thing they could do because it actually accomplishes the opposite goal.

Dishonesty breeds distrust.  Silence when things are obviously going badly breeds distrust.  If a company is struggling, be honest with your customers and they might just rally to support you.  At the very least, they'll know what's going on so they can plan accordingly.  So, as I sit and wait on the rest of my Princess Highway order, with no idea why on God's green earth it's taking so freaking long, what I do know is that I won't be ordering from them for a very long time if ever again.

Update:  About two days ago I received a form letter stating that the remaining two items in my order could not be located and I was issued a refund.  After going to the website I found that one item was sold out, but the other was still listed for sale in my size.  I sent another message asking for clarification and explanation and practically begged for some response from a person but I doubt I'll ever get it, especially since my original message has never ever been answered.  I guess this is just one more place that I can't shop at and will no longer recommend.