Autumn Around the Corner with Dolly & Dotty

Scroll through any autumn month on this blog over the past nine years and you'll immediately learn I am all about a fox print!  I love them anytime of year really, but most especially in autumn.

Summer has a few weeks to go, but autumn is just around the corner and it's never too early to start planning your fall wardrobe in my opinion, which is why I nabbed this Brenda Fox Den print from Dolly & Dotty now.

This is my first time trying the Brenda dress, but I am already a fan.  The skirt is full enough to wear with a petticoat for that perfect vintage look, or wear without the petticoat for a more modern vibe.

I am also loving the scoop neckline and the half sleeves, plus this dress has pockets!  It's funny that I went for thirty years of my life wearing dresses without pockets but now that I've had a taste of the good life, I just can't go back, and thanks to Dolly & Dotty I don't have to.

Make the most of summer while it lasts, but don't forget that autum is just around the corner and Dolly & Dotty has the perfect prints!

Outfit Info:  Brenda Fox Den Print Dress from Dolly & Dotty, Qupid Heels are old.

 

Saving Summer with Dolly & Dotty

While I've had a special side project going for basically the entire summer, it's been really nice to have collaborations with Dolly & Dotty to give me an excuse to blog.  I very foolishly thought that I would only need a few weeks to get this project done, but instead it has stretched into months and it has consumed every single free day that I've had.  I don't regret taking this on, but I do feel a bit like I've missed out on summer, and I've definitely missed blogging.

Summer is for sipping lemonade on the veranda while wearing floral prints and light dresses.  White is wonderful for keeping cool, but I've always preferred ivory.  Add an adorable cat print and a gorgeous style and how could I resist this Amanda dress from Dolly & Dotty.  It's the perfect summer style.

You know I love a nice full skirt that hits just below the knee and a suggestive neckline with thicker straps, so it only stands to reason that the Amanda style has become a Dolly & Dotty fave.  DD has so many great prints, I am incredibly grateful for this collaboration partnership; it's been wonderful!

Well, I may have lost a month or two to this project, but there's still a little more left to go and I fully intend to make the most of it, so I'd best get to it.  In fact, I just made a peach cobbler and have whipped up a batch of homemade lemonade for sipping in this shade today.

Outfit Info:  Amanda Ivory Cream Flared Dress in Cat Floral Print from Dolly & Dotty, Cardi from YeMak, Chelsea Crew Heels.

 

Grace in Blue

It's just coincidence that I started coloring my hair around the same time I started my blog and began experimenting with styles and colors to try to find the right combos for me.  I went along for a number of years thinking I could wear any color.  But growing out my hair for the past year or so and going back to natural hair color has taught me differently.  

As it turns out, my ability to wear most colors was directly tied to my that rich red that I used to dye my hair, and now that it's back to a cool espresso brown with gray in the mix, some things just don't work well for me anymore and I really need a new palette. 

While pastels are now and always will be my favorite, they really don't do much for my complexion at this stage in life.  I find that the very best colors to warm up my skin tone and balance out this hair are vibrant shades like the electric blue of this Grace Vintage Style Jive dress from Dolly & Dotty.

I should also mention that the the Grace style is one of my all time Vintage favorites!  The pleated bust and this drop dead gorgeous neckline with a fitted waist and a full skirt, mean this dress is the most flattering for all sizes and shapes.

This dress checks all the right boxes and check out this back, by the way; it's just as gorgeous.  I love that Dolly & Dotty really follows through on the details, making each dress so lovely!

Outfit:  Grace Vintage Style Jive Dress in All Blue from Dolly & Dotty

Part of the Grand Plan

At the start of this year I was so excited for all the changes that were on the way.  I finished one certification program and began another which ended in May.  I left one job and was hoping start another, this one directly linked to my certifications, but there was a gap.  The job wasn't open yet, so I suddenly found myself with half the income and twice the time.  It was a gift and I intended to treasure every spare moment until the new job began.  That was February; here we are in August and that job has not opened.

At first I had so many things to accomplish at home that each day was full.  I vowed to use my time at home to be a value and a blessing to my family.  I did jobs like tearing down the pigpen that Mr. Bleu was always meaning to do but usually too tired or busy.  I decluttered and organized; I deep cleaned and home cooked.  Over the course of a few weeks to a month, my projects began to dwindle.  Could it be?  Was I finally...all caught up?  Yes, I was indeed.  I started to get bored and then a little depressed.  This temporary situation was seeming more semi-permanent.  I felt like I had wasted my time and my money on something that didn't pan out; in short, I felt like a failure.  I started berating myself for taking this risk.  Then I stopped and realized that I would have regretted Not taking the risk far more than trying and not succeeding.  Not trying at all, that's what failure really looks like.  

Coming to terms with the fact that things didn't work out as I had hoped meant I needed to rethink things and regroup.  I decided to begin to work in some time each week for journaling, and each day for walking.  I made time for getting some sunshine and having long soaks in mineral water.  I had been in high-gear for so long, why not take some quiet time in this season of less activity and live just a little slower and a little easier.  I made time to visit my parents and Mr. Bleu's.  I made time to have tea with friends.  I decided to go to actual brick and mortar stores with my mom or my girls, to enjoy the experience of shopping as a social activity.  And, life was good.

The trouble with easy living is that other people tend to want to fill that empty time.  I had people ask me to run errands for them because they were either "busy" or "working."  I had people ask me to do special projects for them for the same reasons.  And while I didn't mind helping out a friend or family member once in a while, at a certain point, I had to start setting boundaries in order to guard my time or else risk sliding right back to the fast paced, full down to the very second kind of life.  I still work out of the home and many of my days here are still rather full of work as well, so it's perfectly reasonable to turn down a few requests to be a free personal assistant for other people.

Summer rolled around, and the boss I had been hoping to start working for suddenly stopped responding to my messages.  Maybe I've been ghosted, or maybe her summer has been just as full as mine.  I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt.  Feeling pressure from myself to carry on with the plan I made two years ago to get certified and begin working in a new field, I started to think if it was going to happen I was going to have to make it happen.  People kept asking, family members had proudly announced to people that this is what I would be doing and now I still wasn't, like at all.  So, I took it upon myself to look around and try to carry out the original plan on my own.  I was offered one job and applied for another.  Initially I went in for interviews and discussed all the options and scenarios, but while waiting to hear back, I found myself in a quiet panic as I realized I am actually really and truly very happy just doing what I am doing right now.  

One place called to say they were passing on my application, and the other graciously accepted my refusal.  I was relieved.  I still haven't heard from my would-be boss and at this point, and I find that a relief too.  Rejection is never easy, but I think it is all truly for the best, so no hard feelings toward anyone.  I like my current job and they seem to like me well enough.  It's not a job that people in my family brag about, but it pays the bills, and that's enough.  If money isn't an issue, and if I can put away my pride (I love it when my family is proud of me, but we can't have it all and I could exhaust myself trying), then I can be free to just enjoy this season in life.  I like my weekends with my family and my couple of weekdays in which I take care of all the home and farm needs.  I like cooking meals, tidying up the house, weeding the garden, and creating a place of rest and comfort for those around me creates rest and comfort in my spirit and my mind.  

I know it may sound silly, but I have had to take some time to grieve the loss of my plans; after all there were a few hopes and dreams wrapped up in there too.  I've finally made peace with the fact that that door has closed and I'm actually really grateful.  If I hadn't been pursuing that career, I would never have taken the job I have now and had this whole experience.  It's been a while since I felt like God was guiding my life.  For the past eight years or so, I've felt rather alone through it all.  For the first time in a long time, I can honestly say that this all feels like part of a greater plan and I am letting go of what I thought things would be in order to embrace this moment, this season with a thankful heart.

Outfit Info:  J. Crew Top and Zara Trousers are from ThredUp, shoes are from SheIn, Jewelry is old from ModCloth

A Kidston Finally

I've been a fan of Cath Kidston since the early 2000's.  At that time I was trying to prepare my children for moving away from our family and friends and hoping that buying some pretty stationary sets would soften the sadness of it all as they could choose pretty paper, envelopes, and stickers for writing letters home.  Even though smart phones weren't really on the scene at the time, letter writing was already becoming quite passé.  My search didn't yield much until I came across Cath Kidston's pretty floral stationary sets which my children and I loved and were just perfect for our project.  

Flash forward several years and we were in Japan where Kidston's style is quite couture and very highly emulated.  I saw her designs, or something close, everywhere I looked.  Until then I hadn't realized she did more than just stationary.  Suddenly I was on a quest to get a dress or a bag or both.  Sadly, my budget never opened up enough for either at that time, but I did devote an entire post in 2016 to pining for her  (<---click there to see it).

I rarely forget my fashion crushes, which is why I am still collecting the Modcloth Dresses that got away over a decade later.  So, every now and then, I look around to see if there is anything that I just can't live without and last year I found this little strawberry dress at a thrift shop.  It wasn't my size, but it was also out of season, so I decided to buy it and do the alterations before the weather warmed up.  I'm glad I had plenty of time, because I really struggle to get both sides taken in equally; symmetry is a heartless mistress.  I've watched my seamstress the past few visits, and picked up a few tips on how to create better symmetry because I wanted to get it just right and I think I have made great progress, so thankfully this dress is ready this year in time for summer.

Outfit Info:  Cath Kidston Strawberry Dress

 

Keep Calm & Cherry On

I have a really bad habit of saving certain dresses for special days or photos.  It goes against everything I believe about living life to the fullest, but still fall victim to it if I'm not careful.  Take this little cherry dress from Retrolicious for example.  I bought it because I thought it would go perfectly with my Betsey Johnson Cherry Pie bag, which it does, but was reluctant to wear it for that very same reason.  

What will I wear with this bag if I totally wear-out this dress? I wondered and for a week or so, I refused to wear it just in case a movie night or other outing came along.  After a week or so, I realized how silly I was being.  For one thing I am so careful with my clothes that even after wearing some of them for a decade or more, I rarely "wear them out."  For another thing, I think I get caught up in a scarcity mind-set that if this dress were gone there would never be another so I need to save, save, save.

As an savvy shopper, I can tell you that half the fun is when the old is gone and it's time to see how we can replace it or how our styles have moved on.  I remember back in the early 2000's that I found a beautiful scarf at Charlotte Russe.  I thought it was the most perfect scarf I had ever seen and I loved it so much that I bought two because I thought I would want to have an extra when the first wore out.  Would you like to know what happened?

My style changed well before even one of those scarves wore out and I wound up giving away not one but two perfectly good scarves a few years later because they just weren't "me" anymore.  I should have learned my lesson right then and there, but sadly some lessons take a little longer to learn.

At least this story has a happy ending.  Since I renovated my closet and down-sized my on-hand wardrobe, I am getting way more wear out of the pieces I selected to be my spring/summer pieces and I decided there was room to put this dress in the rotation, so it has already been worn half a dozen times since I purchased it.

I may actually end up wearing this dress out, but I have made my peace with the fact that if I do, then searching for something new that goes perfectly with this bag will just be part of the fun, a new challenge in a new season of my life and style.

Outfit Info: Retrolicious Cherry Pie Dress, Betsey Johnson Cherry Pie Bag, Jelly Pop Sneakers

Shopping Successes

I started talking about my shopping struggles a few years ago, hoping that putting it out there would really give me some accountability or maybe even support.  Can you guess what happened instead?  People got nasty.  I shouldn't have been surprised, it's the internet after all, but it wasn't just the internet; it was in real life too.  To be fair, there were some who were supportive and encouraging, but that wasn't the end of it.  In fact, it was mostly real-life people, people who called themselves my friends, who were the first to draw blood.  Ah, people.  It's times like this that I really  can see why hoarders feel safer surrounded by towers of things rather than flesh and blood relationships.

What I learnded from that experience is this: be careful to whom you confide your stuggles.  Some people will want to help lift you up; others will use your vulnerability to gossip about you, criticise and destroy you.  I learned a long time ago that we all have problems, all of us struggle in some area, so even though it's not easy to be in the very vulnerable position of honesty about one's faults and failings, ultimately, it is a happier way to live than to be forever hiding things, but it still ok to be selective about whom we choose to reveal the honest truth about ourselves.  "That's none of your business," is a perfectly valid response to questions asked by people you do not fully trust.  To that end I realized that I haven't really talked much about what I have been doing with my struggles with shopping since then though and thought it was high time to delve into that subject once more.  

Over the past couple of years, I have tried a lot of different techniques to help me rein in my spending and haven't been 100% successful at any of them.  That's because I love clothes, like really, really love them.  Ever since I was a very little girl, in fact for as long as I can remember, I have wanted a collection of beautiful dresses.  Now I'm a collector, but there's nothing wrong with carefully curating one's collection.  I have learned that this is something I don't ever really want to let go of completely (God save me from the bland, beige, minimalist wardrobe!) but I can scale back.  I can also be kind to myself when I slip up or outright fail to refrane from spending.  

The main indicator for success at anything is when someone just keeps going, and keeps trying.  So, I keep trying and I can tell with each passing year and with every new attempt, I actually am making progress.  I have had times in my life where each day revolved around online shopping.  Now, I only indulge a few times per week and carefully track my spending.  I still spend more than I would like to, I wish the things I loved didn't cost so darn much, but they do.  

The best thing I can do, is to create a strategy for success that is firmly based in reality.  For example, a lot of the Decluttering and Minimalist Influencers talk about having a No-Buy Year.  And I thought about it, then I realized that for me, having a No-Buy Year would be like deciding to take up running by entering a marathon on day one.  I wouldn't make it; no one would.  You have to train and prepare for a long time to be ready for a marathon and someone who has spent a lot of time shopping can't just switch it off for a whole year cold-turkey.  I do think I might get there one day, but if I don't, that's ok too.   I'm only human, after all, just like those who support me and those who detract.

While I still get new things on a semi-regular basis, I have been trying to focus more on thrifted items in order to help me stay on my budget and I'm pleased to report that I've actually gone months at a time now without buying anything at all and that's huge because I wasn't white knuckling it the whole time, I just wasn't interested in buying anything.  I think the reason, more than anything, is that I am really just feeling at peace with myself right now, not out of control, guilt-ridden, or self-hating, but truly at peace with myself, faults and all including my spending, but also with my place in life, my job, the whole lot.  That is pretty amazing and it inspires me to keep going.

Outfit Info: Dear creatures dress thrifted from ThredUp