I don't always have a lot to say. Remember those studies that came out years ago that said women use an average of 13,000--20,000 words per day compared to men at 7,000. I don't if that's true, but I definitely feel that I have a certain number of words that my brain allots each day and once they're gone, they're gone. I remember noticing it especially when we moved to the Pacific Northwest. Our tiny little town on our tiny little island wasn't the warmest place in world whether referring to the climate or the friendliness of the locals. Those first few months, in the dead of winter, we didn't get out much. Often, if I needed conversation, I spoke with a friend, my mom, or wrote in a journal, but interestingly enough, never all three. If I'd spoken with a friend, I had nothing to write. If I'd written six pages in my journal before a friend called, I was a particularly good listener, but found I had no interest in talking about my day.
I don't know if all people are like that or if I'm just a person of fewer words than most. For example I have an acquaintance of whom I've often said could have a lively discussion with a tree stump, and that the reason I used to like chatting with her is because the pressure was off me. She did all the talking and it didn't really matter if I was there or not. She's an introvert's dream! It had been several years since our last visit when I met up with her for coffee a few months ago. I found that her chattiness has become rather boring. She was the same as she's always been, talking about herself and her children, but our "conversation" went on for several hours during which time, she did not once ask about my life, job, or children. She barely paused for breath. I used to find her delightful in small doses, now even a few minutes has me looking for an exit.
Maybe I'm too judgmental. Or maybe I say less because I'm too self conscious, but I dislike talking when I have nothing to say. Which is why I sometimes only attach a sentence or two to a blog post. Not every outfit warrants a 500 word essay about my day, my feelings, or even fashion advice. Some do. But, definitely not all. And this post started out as one of those less is more kind of posts and somehow turned into a full on novela. That could all be due to the fact that I've spent the last two days with a house full of giggling, squealing, crying, fighting, back to giggling again little girls. Ah, yes, it was a slumber party weekend and other than the occasional "why don't you go outside and play?" or "Dinner's ready!" or "Who's ready to watch Princess Bride?" I've spent these two days in silence and now I need to talk. Of course, my head is pounding so hard I don't really feel like talking and not even a piece of triple chocolate cheesecake eaten in secret while crouching in a dark corner of my room so that the girls wouldn't discover me and demand their share has done much to ease my headache.
I guess I just need to get all my words (only 616 by my count) out today in a quiet way rather than talking someone's ear off about how limited my words are each day. I suppose if I use them all up here, I can go home and continue the quiet atmosphere now that all my giggly girly guests have gone.
