What's Underneath Counts

Caution! Ginormously Long Post Ahead and it will contain underwear pics!

Ages ago during a beautiful spring, just before Easter, I was shopping with a close friend on a busy Saturday, trying to find a pretty dress for Easter services. All the dressing rooms were full and we both needed to try on a dress, so we decided to share a dressing room. During the course of changing I noticed the sorry state of my friend's undergarments. Old, discolored from so many washings, elastic exposed and well past its prime, I casually remarked, "Girl, we need to get you some new undies while we're here. Yours have given up the ghost." She laughed and replied, "I know, they look awful, but no one sees them."

If my dear friend had self-esteem to spare I would have let things go at that, but she didn't. This became more and more evident each time she tried on a dress, looked in the mirror, her shoulders would slumped and she gave a depressed sigh. When she wasn't clad in a potential dress, she didn't look in the mirror at all. It wasn't just that my friend didn't like her underwear, she didn't like her body and that made her not like herself. Her underwear, was just a reflection of all that.

You've probably heard it said that looks don't matter, it's what underneath that counts. Well, I'd agree to this statement on more than one level. It is definitely more important to be a kind person than it is be a cruel beauty. Yes, vanity can have a much nicer veneer than humility but just below the surface you may find that the appeal dissipates if there's nothing of substance to give it roots. However, the opening statement of this post is only half the story. When my friend said that what's under her clothes didn't matter because no one would see it, she wasn't being honest. She saw it and she was depressed at what she saw.

Most women believe that pretty underwear is something you splurge on only when you're trying to impress your romantic partner. Not so, ladies. Who you're with should make zero difference on what you wear and that includes underwear. You are reason enough and special enough. You don't have to wait for someone else to find your body worthy before you show it some attention. And you don't have to sacrifice comfort for style. When I started writing this post, it was early March, pre-surgery, and I was wearing all my vintage style undergarments. After my surgery, I was in so much pain from the incisions (yes, you can see one scar under my navel, I decided not to photoshop it out) that I needed comfortable clothes, and my Wireless Bras and Seamless Briefs from Forlest were the only thing that made me feel comfortable and pretty. With so many affordable styles to choose from for coverage and support, this is one collaboration that was truly a life-saver.

The simple fact is that people most often dress in a way in which their outward appearance is a reflection of their inward attitudes about themselves and their lives. That's why we very rarely see a very ill person walking down the street and say, "Wow! You look amazing!" No, we often say, "You look like you feel awful, please go home." You look like you feel. And to that end, not looking at yourself at all, as my friend did in the dressing room, says volumes more. It says that you don't feel worthy of even your own attention.

I'm not an advocate of self-love because the end of that path is narcissism, but I am an advocate of self-acceptance because the end of that pathway is peace. In a Christian sense, (Is she really talking Christian morals while posting panty pics?! Uh, yeah, because all of my underwear covers more than the average swimsuit. They're tasteful, modest, pretty, and they're important and it's completely on-topic.) we are tasked with treating our bodies as temples (not as Idols to be worshipped, but as sacred and to be respected) as things that belong to someone else, someone whom we dearly love. So we are to care for our bodies with all seriousness. If you were taking care of a car for someone you really and truly loved and respected, would you trash it, neglect it? Or, at the other end of the spectrum, would you pay a fortune for a great paint job and then put cheap fuel in it? No, you would treat the inside and the outside with equal care.

In the same way that the right dress makes you feel beautiful, the right undergarments not only can make that dress look even better, but also make you feel beautiful no matter what's on the outside (I'm thinking of you, drab work uniform). There is something about wearing beautiful, feminine under garments that adds that little confidence boost, that small dose of self esteem because, no matter what you have to put on the outside, your uniform, or your work clothes, underneath it all you look beautiful and sexy as hell. You know it, and because you know it, you'll act like it even if no one ever sees it but you.

Beyond all of this, it's time to accept that your body is not perfect, because no one's is. But, it is beautiful; you are beautiful. You are worthy, and you have something to offer the world. It's time to start acting like it and dressing like it. Sometimes in taking that first step of choosing and then wearing beautiful under and outer garments, you're planting a seed of care and acceptance in yourself that will grow into confidence and esteem for the person your are and the body you have. If all of this has struck a chord with you, then this is your time. Buy something pretty to wear under your clothes. And, I don't just mean one special thing. No, buy a week's worth of pretty undergarments and make them your go-to on a daily basis. Victoria's Secret is the pillar in pretty under things, but there are other options. Adoreme.com offers sets and club pricing. Forlest is the queen of affordable comfort with wireless bras and seamless briefs that feel like a second skin. PlayfulPromises.com offers vintage and modern pieces. Is it pricey? Yeah, a little. Is it worth the way it makes you feel? Yeah, absolutely.

Undeterred by my friend's casual dismissal of the sad state of her undergarments, after we had both selected dresses, I marched her (in a very kind way) over the lingerie department and helped her select three sets of bras and panties. She was bashful about the whole thing, but in the end she conceded. I saw her for lunch a week later and noticed that she sauntered into the restaurant, shoulders back, a pleased glow on her cheeks. "How are you?" She began. I eyed her for a moment; something was different about her demeanor. "You're wearing the new underwear, aren't you," I asked. "Yes!" she squealed, "and I love it! It makes me feel so pretty!" What a big difference made by something so basic. Even now, all these year later I hear her tell other women about the importance of buying pretty under things and the difference it can make in the way you see yourself, even if no one else ever sees it.