I don't think it's fair to buy a dress and have it sit on the shelf. But, I have so many dresses that it's hard to wear them all. That's not a brag; it's the Pareto Principle that we wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. It's also an embarrassing statement of fact to say that I have more dresses than I can wear and I am slowly trying to remedy that.
You see, as much as I love my dresses, my life is changing. My body and style are also changing and I suddenly find myself reaching for linen trousers, cotton tank tops, and slouchy cable knit cardigans more often than dresses. It could just be the summer heat talking, but I think it's more than that. I am weary. And craving comfort from my clothes, my home, and my food.
Comfort clothes are a real thing, and this particular Mae dress from Ivy City Co. has been worn twice a week ever since it arrived because it is both pretty and comfortable and takes less time to iron than most of my dresses. It's also pretty but not lavish, so I feel comfortable wearing it at all my jobs. This is the sort of dress that I wish I owned ten in all different colors and just wore them all the time so I didn't have to even think about my clothes.
More than anything, I am just tired. I am tired of ironing, tired of special care instructions, tired of special bras so the straps don't show, tired of being cold with bare legs in the A/C, tired of mud spatter stains from having to feed pigs in pretty dresses as I rush out in the morning or drag home in the evening.
My summer ritual of tea time has not manifested this year. Instead I try to go outside one to two evenings a week after work with a cocktail of sparkling fruit juice and vodka and listen to the cicadas and birds to help me wind down. Whether it's the sounds of nature or the strong alcohol, (which I really do drink in moderation) it really does make me feel more relaxed for a while.
Ever since life hit the fan, I have felt like I was useless, languishing, and to that end, I have enjoyed the busy schedule, it's given me purpose and goals again. And, I am looking forward to the changes ahead, a new career and new possibilities. I am also looking forward to gutting my house and making into something that I actually enjoy being in and am not ashamed to have guests in. But, all these things take work and I am definitely starting to feel it.
So, I'll keep reaching for this dress and a couple of other like it while I just have to swallow the gnawing guilt that all my other pretty things are going to gather dust for a while, and content myself with quiet moments when I can find them and the hopefulness that this too shall pass and open the door to something far better.
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