The Summer I Never Turned Pretty

I recently saw a title on the new release list called, The Summer I Turned Pretty.  My heart sank a little as I looked at the cover and saw a beautiful girl, clearly the envy of every other girl and most definitely every girl who was ever mean to her, flanked by two mesmerized boys. (Full disclosure, I have no idea what the story is actually about; I am 100% judging it by its cover.)  I totally get why girls eat this kind of story up, because I was once one of them.

  

I kept waiting for it: THE glow-up.  I kept waiting to go away for the summer and return to school looking so beautiful that no one recognized me.  I guess I watched too many Disney movies or read too many teen books, because I just knew, fully expected, that one magical summer, I would leave school a duckling and return a swan.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And each year I returned from summer still looking the same, still looking like me.  I got a little shyer and a little shyer thinking if I could just wait long enough and hide long enough, eventually I would transform.

To save you the three part novel series, I never turned pretty.  Nope, just kept right on looking like me only older and slightly taller.  Never got the overnight wow-body.  Never got the derpy-to-dream-girl face.  Just didn't.  And, I remember when I realized that the glow-up just wasn't going to happen, that I was in fact fully grown and wouldn't be going through anymore big changes.  This was it.  This was me.  I was 18, school was over, and I was disappointed.  Then I was resigned.  Then I was kind of bitter.  Actually I remember thinking that if I couldn't be the pretty girl I could at least be the smart girl.  (Although how smart could I have possibly been if I didn't realize that beautiful people can also be smart and smart people can also be beautiful.)

So, I went along that way for several years, being the plain girl who got straight A's and always had a sarcastic or witty come-back, usually said under her breath because she was too shy to speak up.  No one noticed me and I wasn't surprised.  I felt generally disappointed with myself and the way life was going.  I was waiting to magically transform into something or someone and it didn't happen.  I had no control over that.  And I went along that way until I met a woman who became a role model for me.  I don't know her name, but when she walked into my literature class, every head turned, including mine.  

It was my third year in university and I was still the duckling, still searching.  Then I saw her.  This girl had every guy wanting her and every girl wanting to be her and she was completely oblivious to all of it because she was just living life on her terms.  But, here's the thing that struck me the most--she wasn't pretty.  She went to the gym and had an amazing body to show for it.  She wore clothes that looked absolutely amazing on her and showed off all that hard work in just the right way.  Her hair was always styled, makeup and nails always done.  And her posture!  I don't even notice posture unless it's really good or really bad (ahem, Maggie Gyllenhaal) and believe me when I say, this girl was the whole package.  But, she wasn't pretty.  When I examined her features, and I did because I was as mesmerized as those two teen boys on that book cover, I realized that her features were not what was so lovely about her.

To be honest, and I say this with absolutely no malice, her features were plain to the point of homeliness.  What took her from average to owning the room was the amount of effort she put into her appearance and her life and the way it made her feel about herself.  She was lovely.  A kind person, a determined person, an interesting person.  She played up her best features, down played her flaws and worked hard at molding all she had been given into its best version.  She did the things within her control and those were things I had control over too.

The sum total of what I learned in that literature class has been lost to the ages, but what I learned from that woman I have carried with me, and it is this:  Nearly every person on the planet is a solid 7 if they put in the effort to look nice and be nice.  It is the effort that you do (or don't) put into not just your appearance but everything in your life that will determine how far up or down the scale you move.  So, don't sit around waiting to magically transform into the kind of person or having the kind of life you desire.  Dreams don't come true all on their own.  Put in the work and make the most of what you were given.  There never was a summer I turned pretty, but there was a time when I got healthy and strong, got stylish, got happy with my myself and it happened because I worked to make it happen.  And you can too.