Mindfulism--Looking at Relapses

 "We are what we repeatedly do.  Therefore excellence is not an act but a habit."  Will Durant

Today, I really, really, really wanted to shop.  I'd been buzzing along for weeks, doing well, not even really missing it and then, BAM!  I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.  Suddenly I wanted to shop and it's all I wanted to do.  Nothing really changed, same old busy, stressful life, and yet out of the bleu I was craving a shopping binge so badly, I didn't think I could refuse.  There is a point in every attempt to change our habits or curb our addictions when will power runs out and we find ourselves staring down the barrel of a relapse.

So, what did I do to keep myself from relapsing?  Two things:  1.  I got up and got away from all my screens so I couldn't shop.  I went to an area that was rather cluttered and started cleaning it to remind me that I have enough stuff.  2.  In the same vein, when I did return to my computer a couple of hours later, I watched several videos about decluttering and minimalism to help keep me motivated and in the right frame of mind.   

I don't mean to trivialize the process of being aware of what you're thinking and feeling by saying, "oh, I just did these two things and then I didn't feel that way anymore."  To the contrary, this was really difficult to step back from and take action to head in a different direction than where my feelings were telling me to go.  I had to be pretty intentional about both of these things, and that meant being aware of how I was feeling, what I was thinking, and what I was doing (google had created a little icon for on my opening screen, so when I realized I had mindlessly clicked, I went back and deleted it from my shortcuts) so I could realize I was headed for a shopping splurge if I didn't change course.

Thankfully, it worked and I was able to keep from spending.  Although I did click on a shopping site that before I thought about it I was able to pause a moment and think and then take action so it wouldn't happen again.  It definitely wasn't easy, but I was able to work through the pressure I was feeling to shop and keep my focus so I could meet my goal.  This is the essential part of mindfulism--being mindful of what we spend and when we shouldn't.  Of what we need, and what we really don't.  Of how I am feeling and what I really need to support my emotions, which isn't spending money and getting stuff 99% of the time.

Let me just say this again, working through this was not easy.  It was really difficult to ride out this urge, but these pathways are pretty well formed in my brain, and it's going to take some time and consistent behavior to forge new paths.  I'm in it for the long haul though, I want to see some real change in my life, so I am willing to do the work because I want a different kind of life.

Relapses are a normal part of any attempt at change.  The important thing is to expect them, have a plan, and most importantly be gracious to yourself if you do miss the mark.  Don't say to yourself, "Oh well, I blew it, I may as well give up."  No, no, no.  Admit you made a mistake and then get right back to doing what you know is the best thing for you.

Mindfulism does not mean perfection.  It's not a highly regulated system with tons of rules to follow.  It's just paying attention to your life, your purchases, your thoughts, your needs and wants.  Keep trying, keep going, and you will be successful.

Outfit Info:  Yorkshire corset and pink skirt from Selkie.  Nila Anthony purse.  

Chelsea Crew Heels.