More Stuff Doesn't Equal More Happiness

It's an easy trap to fall into, especially if you keep your eyes on your favorite influencers whose wardrobes are ever-expanding, but I assure you that more clothes (or more stuff in general) does not bring fulfillment; it brings frustration. Whether it's your home décor or your wardrobe, the things you own can end up owning you.  This is why everything you buy should be purchased as part of carefully curated collection.  

Closet clutter sneaks in as easily as home clutter (and for all the members of my family except me, car clutter as well).  The build-up can build up until choosing an outfit becomes overwhelming and time consuming from too many options.  We fall into wearing the same old things because it's quick, easy, and there's just too much to choose from.  Then we get bored, buy new things, and the clutter grows and so does the frustration.  It's a vicious cycle but there is a way to break it.

Springtime brings a revived sense of energy that all nature feels.  Which is why it is an excellent time to throw open the windows for some fresh air, open the closet, pull out all the drawers and clean out your wardrobe.  This is a process I've been working on for over a year now, not just whittling down my wardrobe, but also curbing my spending. 

There are still a few weeks left in winter, but don't put off the clean-out until the official start of spring.  Start now by looking at your wardrobe and thinking about your style.  Which pieces best represent your look and which don't.  Once you decide what style you'd like to focus on (and yes, it's ok if your style changes or if your style is eclectic) you can begin to weed out the excess pieces.  Sell them or donate them, but do let them go. 

Once the closet is clear, it's time for step two so that you don't fall back into the clutter trap.  It's time to curb the amount of time you spend shopping and the amount of money you spend.  Start this step by setting a budget on your time and money for shopping, and then only invest in timeless, quality pieces rather than fast fashion trends that will be worn out or out of style in a year.  Have a plan for an activity you can do instead of shopping during the times you're most tempted to shop, so that you don't fall back into the habit.

In one year, I've sold so many pieces of clothing that I had accumulated over years of buying and never cleaning out.  At this point, I still have a little way to go with my closet, but I'm on the home stretch.  I find myself being more creative with fewer pieces of clothing  and I have also found it so freeing of my time and energy to be rid of the excess.  Spring is the time of all things being new, of fresh starts, and it's the perfect time to make a fresh start on your closet by getting rid of the clutter.  Remember that it's not about finding happiness in having more or less, it's  about finding peace and contentment with just enough.

Shopping Addiction: Finding Your Reason Why

I was huffing and puff through a workout recently when the instructor said something that made me pause, and not just to catch my breath.  She said, "Why are you doing this?  When you find your Why, you can handle any How."  As much time as I usually spend hating this woman during class, she gets results and one of the reasons she gets results is because she understands that people need to be treated holistically: body, mind, spirit.  Like any change we want to make to ourselves or our situations, fitness isn't just physical, it's mental and spiritual and if it's approached any other way it is unlikely to last through all of life's difficulties.

There's more to Why than meets the eye.  In my class, my instructor meant for each of us to find our inspiration, our reason for getting out of bed and exercising each day, and she couldn't be more right.  You do in fact have to have a reason why you want to change.  But, as I've got older, I've come to realize that most people don't know why they do anything good or bad.  They live their lives in  a haze of wants, impulses, and emotions totally unaware of their self-talk, their motivations, their triggers, etc.  And, my dear friends, as Socrates once said, "The unexamined life isn't worth living."  Animals live unaware of their thoughts, motivated by instinct, never considering tomorrow's consequences of today's actions.  People are meant to ponder.  People are meant to search their hearts, to ask and to learn Why.  So perhaps before you can find a reason why you want to change, you need to find a reason why you do the things you do.

How often to you examine your motives?  If you've fallen into some bad habits, or if your life is a total mess, it's probably time to ask yourself why and to take inventory of your life and your thoughts.  When approaching something like shopping addiction, it's important to do a personal inventory.  This is Step 4 in the 12 Step Program and it's one of the most critical if you wish to achieve success.  Being successful in ending a bad habit or beginning a good one isn't as easy as saying, I just will.  Your "will," better known as "will power" is a short lived thing and not to be trusted for more than a day or two at most.  

If you want to make a change in your shopping habits, begin with writing down everything single penny you spend for a month.  At the end of each day, journal about your feelings, what happened, things that may have triggered you, etc.  At the end of that month, take a look at the days you were more likely to spend and compare then with what was happening that day, either internally or in your external environment that made you turn to shopping for comfort, excitement, relief, whatever.  Now you're getting somewhere, but you have to keep going. A good personal inventory (<-that's the link to a free personal inventory through 12steppers.org) is going to go all the way back to when you first began to use shopping to meet a need in your life.  It's going to focus on that need, the hurts, and perhaps trauma attached to it.  

Once you have really uncovered all the pain and really gone all the way back to the beginning of it all, then and only then can you begin to work on the healing, changing, and forgiving, but it all has to start with Why.  So, if you are unhappy with the amount you spend and the amount of time you spend shopping or wanting to shop, it's time to start paying attention and asking yourself why you do this.  Because you can't know how to fix the problem until you know why it is happening.  So, ask yourself that question; the answer might be the key to lasting change.

Shopping Info:  everything in this outfit is old, just to help you avoid temptation