Wisdom From My Fairy Gothmother

I had to go bra shopping the other day. It's probably been 5 years or more since I've tried on bras in a store, and oh boy, was it an unpleasant experience. Don't get me wrong, the staff at Victoria's Secret were incredibly nice and very helpful; it was what I saw in the mirror that really bothered me. 

I can't remember how old I was the first time I heard it, probably 40-ish, but it resonated. "You still look good...for a woman your age. Dot. Dot. Dot. For A Woman Your Age. Every word after the ellipses smashing not only the half hearted compliment, but my fragile esteem with it.  Those words rang in my ears.  Standing in that dressing room, staring at reality.  A Woman My Age.  Looking at myself, I was suddenly reeling with disappointment and sadness. I almost walked out empty handed and emotionally distraught because what I saw in the mirror was... a woman my age.  Deep breath.

Wait, was this reality?  Or were insecurities affecting my perception?  I needed balance.

First of all the lighting was terrible, I looked much better in the natural lighting at my home instead of the overhead fluorescents at VS.  But secondly, my body is older. It just is. 

I regained composure by reminding myself that even when I was "young"-- in my teens, twenties, thirties-- I had insecurities about my body.  Looking back it seems crazy, but it felt real at the time.  And in 10 years, 20 years, I'll look back and think this is silly too and wish I could have this current body back because it's pretty darn healthy and serving me well. 

 If I may quote The GothMother, I don't want to be in a lifelong hostage situation with my own reflection in the mirror.

One of my old favorite indie bands, Tahiti 80, said in a song, "You'll never be younger than today." Enjoy the moment; enjoy the season, and remember that confidence has nothing to do with age or appearance or other people's thoughtless comments and everything to do with peace and acceptance and all the grace and wisdom earned by A Woman My Age.

Outfit info:  Eva Franco dress is thrifted, shoes are from B.A.I.T., cardi is from YeMak, necklace is vintage,  and yes, the bra is from Victoria's Secret.

Worth Collective Dress Review

As part of my Low-Buy year, I am trying to shy away from shopping so much in general, but I have kept some room in my budget for the occasional purchase.  After hearing the buzz in one of my FB groups about Worth Collective, I decided to head over and see what they had to offer.  I found two pretty little dresses that I wanted to try and then found a 20% off promo code to sweeten the deal.  So, let's dive in to a few key features about Worth Collective.

1. Shipping.  My order shipped the following day and arrived within the week.  Already we were off to a good start.  Also, orders over $175 ship for free.  Pretty much buy two dresses and you'll get free shipping.  My order was minimally packed, so if you hate all the plastic bags and wrapping, you should know they put both dresses into a single bag.

2.  Sizing.  As far as size inclusivity goes, I tend to save that term for shops that offer XXS ~ 6X.  While Worth Collective offers XS to 3X on many styles, there are also plenty that only have Small through XL, so I can't exactly say they're size inclusive but I do appreciate that they're trying.  Believe it or not, many shops out there don't offer anything outside of Small ~ XL.  You won't really see them featured here on the blog, because they never carry my size.  Having said that, I ordered XS in both dresses and they actually fit extremely well, so I'm happy.

3.  Purpose Inclusivity.  This brand does something I really love, and that is that they recognize that you may want a beautiful dress for all the various roles you may play in your life.  From a woman of any age who loves to wear a pretty dress, to pregnancy/bump friendly styles, to the need for clothes that accomodate the way your body continues to change during nursing, motherhood, and beyond into the menopause years these dresses seem to be versatile in their design to allow for a changing body.  One way this is accomplished is through the liberal use of elastic throughout.  I cover this topic more in the video below.

4.  Quality.  So far, I have washed, ironed, and worn these dresses and they've held up beautifully.  The prints are lovely and the fabric on the Mary Elizabeth in particular is very nice.  I love that they have so many 100% cotton dresses (which are also 100% cotton lining!).  Synthetics are dead.  They're hot, itchy, and uncomfortable.  Natural fibers are where it's at.

5.  Price.  On my first order, I found a 20% off promo code through sites like Retail Me Not, and then as a thank you, I was emailed another promo code after my first order.  I'm not affiliated with this brand, so this is something that is potentially open to all, and definitely is what helped me make the decision to-buy or not-to-buy each time.  Dresses here range from $78 ~ $198, with most dresses falling at about $150 or less.  It does seem a little high to me, but with free shipping and a promo code, it feels about right.  I chose the Mary Elizabeth because it reminded me so much of the Selkie Day dress but at 1/2 the price and it has pockets!

In summary, I'm very, very happy with this shop.  Are there some things that could be improved?  Yes, but just a tiny bit.  Over all, I think they're doing a great job and I'm happy with the whole experience.  In fact, I decided to use my thank you promo code to get a couple more dresses, one of which you've seen in my Dark Cottage Core post, the other you'll see in my upcoming posts.  My video review is posted below.

Outfit Info:  Mary Elizabeth Midi Dress in Blue from Worth Collective, shoes are old from Charlotte Russe.

Toile Part 2: Antoinette

I remember on my tour through the great palace of Versailles the tour guide commenting that although she was Austrian born, and although the tide later turned against her, Marie-Antoinette contributed much to what is classically considered "French." 

It was Marie that welcomed in so many artists that became attributed to the French style. It was Marie that introduced the French to their beloved croissants, which had long been a staple in Austrian cuisine.  And Marie-Antoinette was bonkers for Toile de Jouy.  As part of her welcoming of artists, Marie-embraced the style of German dyer Christoph Oberkampf.  Oberkampf, like his father before him, made fabric.  Upon hearing of a new technique developed by Frances Nixon in Ireland, Oberkampf high-tailed it to the emerald isles to work as an apprentice for Nixon.  He learned, and then stole, the technique  before hoofing it back to France to set up shop now that the ban on imported cotton had been lifted.

There were two sides to the little dauphine who would later become, at the tender age of 19, queen-consort of France.  One side was her vivacious public persona and her fashion forward style is still admired around the globe, but let's save that topic for part three in this series.  It's the other side of the queen that I want to discuss in this post, the side that longed for quiet and nature.  Is it any wonder that she was drawn to the rustic pastoral scenes depicted on Oberkampf's cotton fabrics.

Upon their ascension to the throne, King Louis XVI gifted Marie-Antoinette with her very own Petit Trianon, a chateau built during his grandfather's reign complete with the rustic retreat Hameau de la Reine.  Marie transformed them into a mock rural village, complete with farm animals and actual peasants, where she could play at a simpler life.   She wanted to gather eggs, have picnics on the lawn and wear simpler, lighter dresses. 

Marie was a great admirer of Oberkampf and actually took her children to visit his factory on multiple occasions.  Oberkampf let the children watch the production and even help with some of the printing.  They invariably returned home with dye stained hands which infuriated their nanny but created much laughter for Marie and her husband the king who himself liked nothing better than working with his hands and would often stop to help peasants fix farm machinery as he drove by in his carriage.  (Sounds like a monster worthy of execution, doesn't he!)  I imagine them as a close little family desperate for a quieter life such as those depicted in her beloved toile prints, and grasping for as much of that life as they could.

This Antoinette dress in pink and white toile print are a lovely example of a combination of two sides of Marie's style.  The cultured toile in a simple yet timeless cotton dress.  Alas, with one foot in the palace and one in the mock-countryside it would all eventually come crashing down.  But, like many beautiful things, it had a perfect moment of enjoyment and long after Marie was gone, her contributions to French culture remain.   This topic will be continued in one more post about Toile fabric, so check back with me on Friday.

Shopping Info: Antoinette Dress-$87.99 from Ivy City Co.  Use this link to save 10% off your purchase.

References: 

Castelo, Andre.  1957.  Queen of France.

https://fredericmagazine.com/2020/11/toile-jill-lasersohn-fabric-design

Sweater Weather with MAK: Outfit #3

My recent wardrobe experiment began for the very best reason.  Simply put, I was stuck in a rut.  With so much going on and my mornings being so busy, I often raced from the shower to my closet in search of something and being so overwhelmed by my options, I ended up wearing the same tried and true pieces over and over again and it felt like something needed to change.

 There's nothing wrong with tried-and-true, no need to get rid of those pieces, but sometimes the routine needs a little shaking up.  Today's outfit is a prime example of what I would grab when I was rushed and didn't have time to make up my mind.  This black and white stripe top with the high-waist black trousers looks good on me, and feels so comfortable it almost feels like I haven't dressed up.  I'd never get rid of them, they just need a little color and that's where MAK Sweater comes in.

The lovely people at MAK sent me this gorgeous lavender cardigan and it adds just the perfect bolt of color to an otherwise safe-to-the-point-of-boring ensemble.  And since this cardigan goes so perfectly with my Lavender Arias from VIVAIA, I decided to keep the color going.

This cardigan is soft and lightweight with a V neck and matching buttons running down the front.  It also has long sleeves and is longer than most of my MAK sweaters.  I like the length on this because sometimes it's nice to have a little bum coverage.

Small changes make big differences.  With just a little color, my outfit transforms from the old stand--by to a more polished look that seems like I spent way more time putting it together than I actually did, so I look chic even when I'm rushed.

Shopping Info: Long Sleeve V Neck Cardigan-$22 from MAK, 

Aria 5°flats-$79 from VIVAIA

For Lamour Day Dress from Ivory Sheep

In light of my recent post about the shocking lack of decent customer service at some of the major companies in the world, I thought it only fair to bring a balanced view to the discussion by highlighting one of the places I shop where the customer service is outstanding, IvorySheep.

Based in Ontario, Canada and founded by highschool sweethearts Michael and Mackenzie, Ivory Sheep is for everyone who marches to the beat of their own drum.  Not just for black sheep, but for the those who feel like they're even the odd ball among the black sheep, the Ivory Sheep, if you will. That's the sort of train of thought that speaks to me very personally.

Ivory Sheep carries top brands like Selkie, Maison Amory, and Love Shack Fancy, but their customer service is where they really shine.  Mackenzie inspects every piece they get in stock to make sure it meets their quality standards.  That is a great comfort if you've ever read some of the horror stories from people who got dresses with holes or stains and couldn't get a refund.

The first time I ordered from Ivory Sheep, it was a Selkie pre-order and I didn't really know what to expect.  As the weeks slipped by I began to get nervous, so I sent an email to Mackenzie on a Saturday morning, not expecting a response from customer service until Monday afternoon.  Within minutes she had replied and reassured me that pre-orders were still in the works and not to worry.  She then asked for the date by which I needed the dress, so I told her, thinking it was far enough away that she didn't need to worry about it.

More weeks slipped by and the date approached so I reached out again.  Pre-order production was still moving at a snail's pace, but she told me she'd do everything she could to get it to me in time, and true to her word, she reached out to Selkie and asked them to ship it to me directly to save time so that I could have my dress when I needed it.

All I could think after reading her messages was, "Wow, it's nice to know there are people like this in the world, who will go the extra mile, not because they have to but because they care."  I've been a loyal customer ever since.

There were only a couple of things that tickled my fancy from Selkie's Paper Moon Collection (by the way, Paper Moon has been one of my favorite movies since I was a little girl, so it only seems fitting to have a dress or two from this collection), but this For Lamour Day Dress was definitely at the top of that short list, followed by a surprise crush on a dress I didn't even notice right away.  More about that dress on the way.

For now, though I do adore this dress and I am ever so grateful to IvorySheep for being a place that I can trust in a world that sometimes seems rather short on ethical businesses and kind people.  Keep up the amazing work!

Shopping Info: Selkie For Lamour Day Dress-$252 from IvorySheep.com