Back in the World

I don't delve too often into my personal life on the blog.  Typically I reserve things of a personal nature for my annual "musings" post when I reflect on life after trauma and the progress I've made toward healing.  I think it's important to do this, because we all need a good report, especially if we've been through hell and we're desperately searching for a way back.  And it looks nearly impossible when all you see around you is the artificial shine and polish people put on every social media post.  I want to make this blog a lovely respite from a weary world,which is also why I don't talk too much about disturbing/distressing world events--more on that subject later-- but I value honesty and I know the importance of being real.  That's why every now and then I talk about my struggles.

Today I am back in the sunshine, back in the world, doing something I love, which is riding my bike and enjoying the cool country air.  The truth of the matter is that I have been ill for a very long time.  Over the holidays I started seeing some progress at last.  I was gaining weight, feeling good, finally feeling healing had come to my heart and body.  And then the rug was pulled out from under my feet.  I was sick.  Severely sick and couldn't get well.  All the weight evaporated along with all my energy and depression began to creep in.

After a month, of overlapping illnesses (influenza B, lung infection, and a new severe and difficult to identify food intolerance  that left me unable to do much of anything all at the same time), I went to both my holistic and modern doctors.  A bevy of tests later, my modern doc, whom I adore and want to speak as highly of as possible, was scratching her head and shrugging her shoulders.  With her characteristic honesty, she told me she didn't know what to do and the medicinal options had side effects that were worse than what I was already going through.  

She is the one who initially suggested that I try holistic medicine, specifically that I find a practitioner that had a QEST machine to scan for issues that she wasn't able to see.  I did find such a person and had already been working with her for seven months and was seeing great progress when things suddenly went wrong with my health.  My holistic doc was more hands on working to cleanse my body and then restore all the minerals that had been lost, but the results were slow in coming.

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I wish I could say it was an overnight success, but it wasn't.  Getting well was hard work.  It was at least another month after beginning work on these specific problems with my holistic doc before I saw any signs of improvement and it involved a lot of paying attention to what I was eating, taking supplements 3 to 5 times per day and a time of fasting and reintroducing foods.
The phrase that seems appropriate for a time like this is--Nevertheless She Persisted....

It wasn't just that I persisted, I insisted.  I insisted that we keep digging, keep testing, keep trying until we found out what was causing all the trouble and then fight it off.  I refused to be dismissed.  I refused to accept a shoulder shrug (I've gotten a lot of those from doctors over the years) or pop a pill that had the potential side effect of, you know, death (thankfully my doc was so upfront about all that!).  I had to fight for my health and find a doctor who was willing to fight along side me as much as possible, but ultimately I had to do most of the fighting myself.  And it was worth it.

After all, we only get this one life and personally I fully intend to enjoy as much of it as possible.  If that means doing the hard work to receive the reward, so be it.  I'll do what it takes.  And, as I've gotten older and gained more life experience, I've come to trust that I know myself and my body.  I know when something is wrong and I won't be ignored any more.

When it's all said and done, if I hadn't fought so persistently and done the hard work, I would still be on the couch, unable to do my job, unable to enjoy my life and my family.  Instead, my weight is back up, my energy is back up, here I am on a beautiful day back in the world.

Dress by Emily and Fin from ThredUp

Barefoot in the Park

For the last ten years or so there's been a movement called Barefoot Walking which basically, just as the name implies, means allowing your bare feet to walk or jog on the earth instead of locking them away in shoes and pounding them against concrete, only to expose them to the light of day when they're once again shut away indoors.  The theory behind this is that your feet have muscles which are weakened by shoes and senses that are inhibited.  Proponents of this movement feel that we're doing more damage to our bodies in the long term by not allowing feet to do what they do.*  

If you're a book lover like me you may have read some Greek mythology at some point along the way and if you did you may remember the story of Antaeus. If you're not familiar with that story I can sum it up for you.  Antaeus was a giant and a demi-god, the son of Poseidon and Gaia.  Gaia was the goddess of the earth and Antaeus' power came from Gaia so that as long as his feet were touching the earth, he could not be defeated.  

It was Heracles who discovered his weakness during his famous 12 labors and while engaged in a fight he managed to lift Antaeus off the ground thereby weakening him and so he was able to overpower him.  Borden Deal made reference to this Greek god in his short story of the same name, Antaeus.  It's a wonderful  read if you get the chance and if you do intend to read it, please skip to the next paragraph to avoid any spoilers................still with me?  Don't say I didn't warn you.  

In Deal's Antaeus, an Alabama country boy is transported to the big city by his parents and has a difficult time adjusting.  In order to cope with this world, he begins building a rooftop garden on an abandoned building.  Eventually caught by authorities who promptly destroy this garden the devastated boy can no longer live surrounded by steel and glass and is picked up by the police hitching his way back the country.  I've always felt a certain empathy for Antaeus (the modern day counter part, not so much for the demi-god) for it seems no matter where I go in this big, beautiful world, I can only stand so much of tall buildings and car exhaust and horns honking, music blaring.  I can only stand just so long to be away from the grass and the trees and the sounds of nature before I feel like I'll go mad if I can't be in it.  

I cannot vouch for the facts in the studies behind the barefoot movement, I only know that there is something so soothing about peeling off hot shoes and curling my toes against the cool green grass and dark earth.  I feel the tight muscles around my temples causing a headache begin to let go as I find the shade of an old oak tree to sit beneath.  This is a time for meditation and deep breathing.  To pray.  To reflect.  To forget what I should forget.  To forgive what I should forgive.  It changes my entire state of mind.

  

 If you're interested in having your own barefoot in the park experience, here are a few tips.

Bring shoes.  If nothing else, getting to and from that cool soft earth will likely involve a pavement parking lot or sidewalks, and should your feet start to get a little sore, it's nice to have an option to stop.  I like to carry something light like foam sandals.

Start Slowly.  Remember your feet are going to be very tender if you don't spend much time without shoes.Limit yourself to 10-15 minutes of actual walking around to avoid sore feet.

Choose a Soft Spot.  Find a park or field with nice soft grass, free of brambles and stones if possible.  Avoid concrete, especially in the summer when temperatures can get so high that it can actually burn your skin.  Although such an experience will definitely make you more sensitive to the needs of your dog when it's walkies time in late August.  

Wear something comfortable.  I don't own a lot of casual clothes, but I loved my last lounge wear set from FemmeLuxe and thisGrey High Neck Cropped Loungewear Set in Ella looked so soft and comfy that I was so excited when the lovely people at FemmeLuxe sent it over for me to try.  

Perfect for these cool mornings and I can't wait to wear it this fall and winter while snuggled up under my quilt, hair spilling out of a messy bun while I write my blog posts.  But, I have no intention of saving any of my loungewear sets til then.  This Ella set in particular is like a little vacation for my mind and body. 

Shopping Info:Grey High Neck Cropped Loungewear Set in Ella from FemmeLuxeFinery.co.uk

Source info from:  https://www.prevention.com/fitness/fitness-tips/a20439811/barefoot-walking-how-to-do-it-safely-without-injury/