You may have noticed that my YouTube channel has been rather quiet for a while, as has my blog. Instead of just doing fashion, I have switched focus to fixing up my house. It's an outward reflection of a change that's going on in my inward life. I have loved blogging, no regrets. But, the over-consumerism has been a side effect of something missing from my life. I over-shop for the same reason people drink too much, over-eat or do drugs-- to Escape. We're all trying to fix a brokenness with things that end up only creating more brokenness.
I used to be a minimalist in a very practical sense of that word. I only owned enough clothes to get me through a week and only things that were needed for day to day life. Nothing more. And I was happy living this way because my life was so stressful that more things meant more stress. It's also important to note that at that time I moved a lot, usually 1-3 times in a year. I needed to be able to pack up my whole life without any help and be on the road in a day or less. So, again, having less stuff meant less stress.
I also took great joy in giving to others. If someone said they liked something I owned, I literally just gave it to them on the spot. I loved to bless others expecting nothing in return. I felt like my life was so full that things were only clutter. And then something changed. Suddenly I wasn't going anywhere, I was rarely leaving the house. I had no friends and very little contact with the outside world. The relationships that I thought would be fulfilling were incredibly empty and I didn't know why, but I blamed myself, tried to fix myself and when that didn't "work," I then tried to fill that empty space with things.
Now, to be fair, I have always loved beautiful dresses and been determined to have a collection of them that would one day be gifted to some grand or great-granddaughter, because that was my dream as a child. As I get older, I realize that may never happen. My daughters certainly never wanted my dresses, and so it's possible that my dresses are just here for me to enjoy and that will be the end of it. If that's the case, how many do I really need/ can I possibly enjoy all at once? In the same vein, I have also always loved maximalist home design and wanted a home that was reminiscent of Victorian and Art Deco/Pre-Raphaelite opulence. But, I don't love having to take care of all that clutter; the dusting alone is a total nightmare and I just don't have the time. To that end, I have been using my summer of home decorating/purging and closet purging to begin slowly moving away from the mindless and constant consumerism way of life we have here in the US of which I have been a blessed disciple for far too long.
In spite of my over use of M's in the title, I am scaling back. Minimalism, when you have multiple people living in your home, especially when they are not at all on board with it, is not a realistic option. So, if Minimalism isn't sustainable and Maximalism isn't maintainable, what is the alternative? I'm going to call it Mindfulism. Mindfulism, according to my definition because it's a term I just made up so it has to be correct, is that: each item whether its purpose is form or function is carefully chosen as part of a curated collection, not mindlessly purchased in pursuit of more, more, more. Each thing is loved and used to its full extent and then replaced or removed when it no longer has a role to fulfill. In other words, I'm not going to live in a bare-bones home, but I also don't need to be featured on Hoarders. It means if I need something I will go shopping, otherwise I'm deleting all the ads without looking at them. Once my home is complete, I'm not going to keep buying things for it; it's all done until something breaks. My size hasn't changed in 20 years, so until it does, I'm all set for clothes or if I do decide to get something new, like this gauze jumpsuit that I am gaga for, I'll get rid of something else--more on that later.
Our closets, our homes, our lives should be a balanced blend of needs and wants, of form and function, of work and pleasure. And that is what I want for my home, my wardrobe and my life. I don't want to endlessly spend the precious hours of my health and life at a job I hate to pay for things I don't need. (I don't hate my jobs by the way) That's a little kernel I gleaned from Tyler Durden years ago and it has really taken root in my life. And I don't want to put up with abuse and/or live in fear of losing that job because I live paycheck to paycheck. That is slavery my friends, and I want to be free to enjoy my life.
In order to be free of the burden of all this stuff and simultaneously bless others, I have spent my summer meticulously going through my entire wardrobe. That's right, I went through all of it! With each piece, I asked myself:
- Have I worn it in the past year?
- Do love it?
- Is it serving a purpose?
- Would I really miss this if it were gone?
There were a few things I hadn't worn recently, but still really loved, so I kept them. I was making the rules after all, and I wasn't going to force myself to get rid of anything; remember I'm not becoming a minimalist. Not yet, anyway. If I had worn it in the past year, but didn't love it and wouldn't really miss it, then I parted with it. Everything went into two piles--one for the charity shop and one for the local school's closet. The reason for these two piles is that some things like prom dresses were badly needed at the school, while other things, like business blouses, kitchen and bathroom items, were more likely to find a home through the charity shop.
All summer long and into this autumn, giant trash bag after giant trash bag after giant trash bag of dresses, shirts, shoes, and purses has left my home and went to places where I hope these beautiful things will be loved and cherished. I have hauled away 7 full-to-the-brim bags of clothing items, 6 full-to-the-brim tote bags of books for donation to the library's book sale, and many more bags of home items to the local charity shop. As far as my own closet goes (not to mention my storage shed) there is much more room in there now. Fewer options but more peace. Do I have only what I need? No, but I do have only what I love and will use on a regular basis, and that is far better.
Shopping Info: Gauze Jumpsuit and Lace top from
NaturalLife
