We Saunter On

After another harrowing week brought on by people with equal amounts of ego and free time on their hands, things are finally settling down.  Of course, I'm somewhat waiting for the next sling of arrows since they seem to back off for a few days, and then like playground bullies building up their courage, they strike again.  It's a tightrope walk between keeping my guard up and still enjoying life.  Because the only way they really win is by taking my joy and my peace.  Believe me when I say, they are trying.

One thing I have avoided during this whole nightmarish month is shielding my children from it all.  As parents, we have included them in regular family meetings to discuss the situation as it unfolds, both the attacks and our plans to deal with them.  We talk together, we pray together, we grieve together, and we face them together.  In this way, I hope we are preparing them for real life because real life means that sometimes you're going along, minding your business, trying your very best, and then something bad happens.  It's not fate or karma, it's just part of life.  These times come, we fight them or endure them, and then they pass.

The very best things that I have found to help me weather storms like this are:  prayer, keeping family close, laughing with friends, and looking back on past trials to see how we came through them just as we will come through this, and most importantly remembering that life is comprised of ease and adversity.  It's easy to forget in the middle of one or the other that they won't last; rather one gives way to the other in a constant dance between joy and sorrow.

While you may not, and perhaps should not, accept each trial with passivity, there is certainly a time to fight back, you should accept that they will happen.  Rest during the good times, enjoy that time, and prepare.  Another storm will come and when it does, you face it with a secret smile, knowing that as much as nasty people roar and rage, it's all just noise. No matter what the world may try to take from you, if you can keep your peace and joy, you haven't really lost anything.

No matter what you're going through, this too shall pass, my friends.  So, chin up, shoulders back, saunter on.

Choose One Style or Love Them All?

What would you call this style?  I'm not really sure.  Space Sailor?  In a general sense it's vintage, but I've got a couple of different things going on here and it may be too much.  That's in keeping with the times because I don't really know what's going on with fashion right now.  I felt like I had my finger on the pulse of  the fashion community for a while, but after a year locked-down, things have gone in so many different directions, I don't even know where to begin.  (keep scrolling for a promo code on this top from Belle Poque!)

I think it's great that there are so many style options out there, but to be perfectly honest I think clothing shops just find it confusing.  They can't focus on one newest trend, so there's a lot of really bad or really-should-have-gone-away-by-now fashion out there.

I know the feeling of loving a certain style and desperately buying what remains of it as trends change and supply dwindles.  As a recent example, Schwarzkopf discontinued my hair color, so it was either pay $25 per box (as opposed to its usual $8) or be forced to change; I changed.  But, I also think change is good sometimes and we only change when we have to.

So, if you've been wearing and loving your skinny jeans and baggy tops for over a decade now with no end to the trend in site, Huzzah! this is your time!  But, if you've been over those styles for a few years now and wish they'd just bring back straight leg-midrise jeans so you can finally breathe and have full range of motion again, you're not alone, but we may all just be out of luck together for a while.

The positive side of fashion going so many ways from Academia, Cottage, Princess, Fey, Grunge, Y2K, etc. is that people can wear whatever they want and no one really thinks twice.  That is an amazing freedom and not one to be taken for granted.  The downside is of course that it's so hard to pick a trend or know what's on trend that people give up, and crawl into a pair of yoga pants and a t shirt and never want to come out again.

If only the fashion industry can keep up with so many different styles and tastes, and maybe if we could whittle things down a little so there are only a few major/mainstream options, I think we'll all be happy with the clothes out there.  Until things settle down a little, I'll just keep doing my eclectic thing and waiting for comfortable jeans to make a come-back.  

Shopping Info:  Use promo code Leandra to save 20% on this top at Bellepoque.com

Time of One's Own

Do you ever have days when you just don't want to talk.  There's something on your mind and you just want to quietly mull it over until you have it all sorted out?

Alone time has been in short supply in my life for one reason or another for the last five years or so.  I'm a very lonesome person and I have fewer than average words to say each day, but when there's something on my mind, I have none at all.  It comes to the point where I'm very irritated at any interruption to my thoughts.

I think often of Virginia Wolfe's essay "A Room of One's Own" in which she discusses the need for a place of solitude and repose.  I agree that having a space dedicated to solitude makes it easier to think, but not everyone can afford that luxury in space of their homes or time in their schedules.  Don't lose heart if you crave some quiet time but haven't the time or a room of your own. 

While it's true that being in a full and busy house makes it difficult to find a little time to sit in contemplation it's not impossible.  I try not to think of it in terms of absolutes like Alone vs. Not Alone, or Busy vs. Resting, but rather I try to see opportunities.  When I lived with my parents, had roommates, and then became a parent myself, I wasn't often able to get away.  I have found my times of reflection and solitude to be more a state of mind when a room of my own was not available.  It's the work of busy hands that frees up the mind.  The simple tasks like mowing the yard, ironing, washing dishes, and gardening become the time when my mind is free to wander.

It may seem like I'm working intently at some mundane task, but chances are my hands are merely on autopilot while there are far deeper meditations going on inside.  At the end of such things I either have my thoughts sorted or I move on to another task until I have the peace I'm searching for.  I'm not sure anything would get done around here, if I didn't need my alone time to get away and think.

Shopping Info:  COLLECTIF MAINLINE CORDELIA DREAMY FLORAL TOP, Bettie Page Heels, Blue SKirt

Laugh About It

Did you know there are people out there who not only cannot make a joke but also can't appreciate one? It's true; I've even met a few of them. Now, without passing judgment I feel compelled to try and out myself in those tedious shoes and I have a hard time of it.  I can empathize with nearly everyone, but the humorless—I just don't get them.  My sense of humor is right up there on the importance scale.  It's a huge part of my identity.  How does anyone get along without it?  

Do you know what I think the secret to surviving anything is? Two things: Forgive and Laugh. Forgiveness is part of the healing process when bad things happen and a necessary part too. You can't move on from your pain until you can forgive the person or thing that has caused it. But laughter, well, laughter is something else entirely.

Laughter lifts you out of the pain, sets you apart from it and gives you a different perspective on your situation. Laughter frees you to say, How can I be angry at/afraid of /hurt by someone or something as ridiculous as this?! I'm done here.

Being able to laugh can save you from ever getting hurt to begin with. Not always, but often enough to make developing a healthy sense of humor well worth the effort in whatever form that takes.  Maybe for you it's listening to some great stand-up comedians and learning to tell a few jokes of your own.  Maybe it's reading humorous observational works and learning to make your own funny observations.  Pick something and start experimenting if you find yourself underdeveloped in the realm of wit and tomfoolery.

I think I must have inherited my joke telling from my dad. We had hard times, but we hardly noticed because we were always laughing together. When the holidays rolled around and we had an awful family get together with the snobs who always made fun of how little money we had or the holes in my clothes? We laughed at them the whole car ride home. Those are some of my best memories of the holidays.

When the mean girls picked on me in school and I came home crying he'd say something like, “which girl? The one with the woodchuck teeth or the one who falls down when she chews gum?” Suddenly those perfect girls didn't seem perfect, they seemed like regular people with flaws of their own. I couldn't take their comments seriously after seeing them in that light and they lost that power over me.

My dad taught us to laugh at the bullies and the bad days. He taught us to laugh together and yes, even how to laugh at ourselves. I think I most appreciate that lesson. Laughing at myself has kept me honest, it has kept me humble. 

I'm not perfect and I don't want to be. Too much pressure and not enough payoff if you ask me.  I would much rather be a clown, stumbling along, laughing all the way and maybe making a few other people laugh too while I'm at it.

Shopping Info: Pop art top from: SHEIN, Skirt by Vixen, Heels from ThredUp, ZAP Bag from Bewaltz on Amazon.com, Freshwater Pearl Earrings by Natuloth

Travel Dresstination Passport

When it's terribly chilly and gray outside, we could all use a little holiday.  Maybe you're planning a little getaway, or maybe you just need a mental holiday from the gloomy weather and the hectic work schedule.

KarinaDresses has just released their Resort Collection and it is full of pretty prints and stylish cuts.  I love this Megan dress in Passport.  The coral is so warm, I'm dreaming of sunny beaches already.

Today I've been blessed with such gorgeous weather, I decided to spend the day walking around the downtown, shopping and relaxing, which is just like a mini-vacation. 

I'm irresistibly drawn to the rich colors in this Megan Dress in Passport print and even more so at this time of year, when I need a break from bare trees and brown fields.  

But I also love how these dresses look wonderful dressed up with heels or dressed casually with sneakers or sandals.  With a Karina dress, I'm prepared for anything.

When it comes to travel woes, my biggest pet peeve is the way that no matter how carefully I pack my clothes, they always come out horribly wrinkled.  That's not a problem with KarinaDresses.  

These dresses always come right out of the package wrinkle -free and ready to wear, which means I can roll them up in a suitcase and the minute I get to my holiday spot, this dress is ready to wear, no steaming required.

So, wherever you're going KarinaDresses is your perfect Travel Dresstination.  Check out the full Resort Collection at KarinaDresses.com

Shopping Info: Megan Dress in Passport from KarinaDresses new Resort Collection 2020