the meaning of life

The secret of life.  Everyone's looking for the answer to it all as if it's some great secret to be revealed to them after much striving, but it isn't.  It isn't a secret, it is the truth.  And the truth is evident and available to all.  There is no such thing as a truth or your truth, only the truth.  How can you tell if something is the truth?  It's quite simple, the truth doesn't care about feelings, nationality, culture, gender, religion, or era.  The truth is the truth and it stands for all time.  It will be the same today as it was millennia ago and it will still be the same millennia from now.  Anything that changes depending on the person, the mood, the culture, the climate, the era, the anything-- is not the truth and you'd be a fool to trust it.  

The so called "secret" to life is part of the greater truth, but we won't go into that today, and it is just this--It's not all about you.  If you want to step out of the darkness and despair of living and striving for a happiness that can never be attained, forget about yourself and what you want.  It's not about you.  What life is truly about it other people, it's about pouring yourself out in love for others--your family, your friends, your community, your country, and the world in that order.   (Now, it is important to note that you must take care of yourself, you must find joy in life, but putting yourself on the list is far different from being the only name on that list.  Self care is important, but don't mistake it for self-centeredness) .

 This is where many people take that truth in the wrong direction because they do not understand love.  In order to explain what love is, I will first tell you what it is not.  Love is not about you.  If you buy a gift for someone to get them to like you or love you, that is not true love.  That is selfishness.  And many people who live in this way think they're very "good people" because they do so many nice things for others when in fact they're not good people.  They are deeply selfish people doing something to get others to love them not because they love others.  This is why so many people suddenly "fall out of love" with their spouse and divorce them.  They do this because they didn't ever love the other person at all; they loved themselves and they loved what they could get from the other person.  When the other person ceased to be able to meet those selfish needs they ceased to feel "love" for them. 

So, if we know what love is not, which is self-centric, we can know what love is which is self sacrificing.  Love gives of itself expecting nothing in return.  Do not give a gift to a friend because you think it will make her like you, give it to her even though it comes at a great cost to you, because it will deeply enrich her life and ask for and expect nothing in return.  This is love.  People say, well, I wanted to reach out to that hurting person, but I didn't because I just wasn't sure they wanted me to and I just felt so awkward and I didn't know what to say.   

 Love says, "I am here, friend," and takes no thought for its own fear or comfort.  Some people say, well, I want to spend time with my children, but we have to have nice things and if they want to spend time with me they'll let me know.  Love says, things are useless and the pursuit of them is a waste of my time.  I am here, children; you are the most important thing.  People say, well, I'd like to help out in my community, but I just don't know what to do.  Love shows up in its work clothes on its only day off and says give me a task.  If you're an extrovert don't confuse your natural desire to be around people for love.  If you're an introvert don't confuse your natural desire to be alone for selfishness.  The extrovert acting in love will talk less and listen more.  The introvert acting in love will reach out more and isolate less.  Do you see how those things come at a cost? 

Someone doing the thing they're naturally inclined to do isn't necessarily acting in love or not acting in love, they're following their own nature and that may be good or bad but it is still all about the self and what the self is inclined to do.  Love will push the self aside.  Love will reject its own comfort for another person's need.  This is where life grows meaning.  This is where you will find your purpose here.  It's not in your career--it doesn't matter what you do for work: teachers, doctors, lawyers, there are a million other people at any given moment who can do your job.  You are expendable and no one will remember you when you're gone from your job.  

It is only in the service of others that you will build a legacy and yes, your career can be a mechanism for reaching others, but no one who says they want to "focus on my career" is doing so in order to touch lives.  They're doing it for themselves.  Look first to your family.  If you want your children to have a better life, don't buy them more things, give them your guidance, give them your time, give them your heart.  

Your parents won't be here forever and they've made mistakes: give them your forgiveness, give them your patience, give them your heart.  You see the widowed aunt all alone on Christmas.  You've never been close and you don't know how to begin.  Give her a call or better yet, stop by for a chat.  Bring a hot meal to share or just pop in for a few minutes to give her a hug and let her know someone is thinking of her.  Give her your time, give her your heart.  People are so afraid of being hurt, so afraid of getting their hearts broken, but do you know what I've learned? 

After my heart was shattered into tiny pieces, it became so much easier to give it away.  Don't let the pain of the past keep you from living the life you're meant to live.  Love, let your heart be broken, and as you pick up the pieces, don't hold them all for yourself.  Start giving them away.  You only get this one life; how will you live it?  Seeking out your own interests?  In the end you will have only what you've worked for--yourself.  Or you can spend your life giving of yourself to others in pure and actual love and you will truly discover what it's all about.