Be True to You

Yesterday I was writing all about how much I love Karina Dresses and that post is even more relevant today than it was yesterday.  The fact of the matter is that they have set the bar pretty high with how wonderful they are.  I really do love them and the dresses they make and I wish more brands were like them.  But, not all brands are created equal.

I got some bad news right after I wrote that post.  It seems that someone out there doesn't like me.  Some faceless internet entity sent me a letter about all the things I needed to change if I hoped to gain their approval.  If I didn't they were going to break up with me.  It was out of the blue and first thing in the morning, before I'd even had a cup of herbal tea.  I read it.  Then I sat for a moment to fully digest what I had just read.

The matter at hand was that this brand wanted to dump me, but maybe if I changed several major things, they'd take me back.  This change would involve a financial investment and a substantial time investment.  So, for an entire day I played out the various options in my mind to see if it was worth it to me and to be quite honest, to see if I agreed with what they were saying, which by the way, was said rather rudely and callously.

It never feels good to be told point blank, "You're not enough--not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc, etc."  It hurts, even when you don't know the person saying it.  Let's face it, the internet is a breeding ground for such ugliness because it lacks all accountability.  At this point in the game, we've all experienced it but it's never easy.

So, I thought long and hard about what to do.  Should I change everything to keep this brand and attract others like it?  Well, let me ask you this, have you ever been in a romantic relationship in which the other person says they want to break up with you unless you change everything about yourself and then you did it hoping to save the relationship?  

If you've had that awful experience then you probably know that it doesn't work.  If someone wants you to change everything they don't really want you, do they.  Eventually, when all your changes still aren't enough to please that person and you begin to totally hate yourself and resent them, the relationship ends anyway.  You didn't prevent the pain; you prolonged it and you lost yourself in the process.

If someone actually cares about you and has an issue with you, they don't come to you as step one with threats and demands.  They come to you in love with advice and suggestions to help you improve, not to fundamentally change who you are in order to earn their love and approval.  It's no different in a business situation like this.  Is it worth it to work with a company that wants me to change everything?  That may sound strange in this world where people are ready to sell themselves and their souls for a few more likes, but as far as I am concerned that price is far too dear and the reward too meager and short-lived.  In the end, I'll lose those likes anyway because they were never really sincere.

This blog is a labor of love for me.  It's my hobby, not my job or my whole world.  It's not even a full representation of who I am as a person; it's just one facet.  I do this because I enjoy it.  If I have to turn myself into something I'm not to temporarily gain approval, or spend all my free time working on it and all my paychecks toward paying for it, it will be a burden, a source of dread.  I don't need that.  So, I decided to keep my blog just the way it is.  Because, I like it the way it is and I like me just the way I am too.  And I want to encourage you to really get to know who you are, accept your faults and your strengths and don't change to please people who will never be pleased.  The end.

Shopping Info:  Fall Leaves Dolores Top from Collectif, skirt is old from ModCloth