As November draws to a close, I look back on this year and I have much to be thankful for. I also look ahead to the holiday just finished and the holidays still yet to come and again I am thankful with just a dash of excitement and a few expectations too. We had three Thanksgivings this year--Three! and after the first, I could tell my energy was waning. But, I reminded myself of how quickly the time goes and how short the years are celebrating with a few elderly members of my family and I put my big girl pants on (extra stretchy for feasting) and did them all with a smile on my face. It wasn't easy, but nothing worth doing ever is.
For the past few years I catch those little inspirational posts on social media about "forget about your Holiday expectations." Certainly it's perfectly fine to unclench and enjoy your holidays, but there is balance to all things. Personally, I find that when I put my expectations away, my energy goes with it and the holidays fall flat by all expectations, not just my own.
When my family was in its earliest years, I was the sole keeper of the holidays. My spouse grew up without celebrating them and so had no nostalgia or affinity for them. My children were babies and unable to contribute. I relied heavily on my own mother to make up the difference for the first few years of my children's lives, but when we moved away it was suddenly all up to me.
I was suddenly aware that any memories we made, any magic, any wonder, any love for this season began and ended with my own efforts. Traditions are a mark of any great civilization, they're part of a rite of passage, they bring meaning and help us form our identities. In other words, they matter-a lot! And it's worth the effort to do things that matter.
Now, I can certainly admit that there were years when I did less and years when I did more. It's ok to cut yourself a break; it's not ok to give yourself a free pass to phone it in. I say this as much to myself as to others: The holidays are here, so get off your duff and make this time magical, wonderful, memorable, but most of all, make it count. It's important.