Wisdom From My Fairy Gothmother

I had to go bra shopping the other day. It's probably been 5 years or more since I've tried on bras in a store, and oh boy, was it an unpleasant experience. Don't get me wrong, the staff at Victoria's Secret were incredibly nice and very helpful; it was what I saw in the mirror that really bothered me. 

I can't remember how old I was the first time I heard it, probably 40-ish, but it resonated. "You still look good...for a woman your age. Dot. Dot. Dot. For A Woman Your Age. Every word after the ellipses smashing not only the half hearted compliment, but my fragile esteem with it.  Those words rang in my ears.  Standing in that dressing room, staring at reality.  A Woman My Age.  Looking at myself, I was suddenly reeling with disappointment and sadness. I almost walked out empty handed and emotionally distraught because what I saw in the mirror was... a woman my age.  Deep breath.

Wait, was this reality?  Or were insecurities affecting my perception?  I needed balance.

First of all the lighting was terrible, I looked much better in the natural lighting at my home instead of the overhead fluorescents at VS.  But secondly, my body is older. It just is. 

I regained composure by reminding myself that even when I was "young"-- in my teens, twenties, thirties-- I had insecurities about my body.  Looking back it seems crazy, but it felt real at the time.  And in 10 years, 20 years, I'll look back and think this is silly too and wish I could have this current body back because it's pretty darn healthy and serving me well. 

 If I may quote The GothMother, I don't want to be in a lifelong hostage situation with my own reflection in the mirror.

One of my old favorite indie bands, Tahiti 80, said in a song, "You'll never be younger than today." Enjoy the moment; enjoy the season, and remember that confidence has nothing to do with age or appearance or other people's thoughtless comments and everything to do with peace and acceptance and all the grace and wisdom earned by A Woman My Age.

Outfit info:  Eva Franco dress is thrifted, shoes are from B.A.I.T., cardi is from YeMak, necklace is vintage,  and yes, the bra is from Victoria's Secret.

OxKnit Sweaters

Sooooo, I rarely do negative reviews, preferring instead to hit the highlights of a brand, but when I purchased some OxKnit sweaters, I had issues with them and decided to do a very honest review, still trying to be kind.  I got a multi-paragraph response from OxKnit in the comments section of my YouTube video in which they basically couldn't deny anything I said, but mostly just said, "we're working on it."  Fair enough.  As a sign of good faith, they recently commented that they have now added size XS to their line and that gives me even more reason to hope things improve.  In the meantime, I had to take this sweater in several inches at the sides to get a nice fit, but I do like the finished product well enough that I ended up keeping most of my purchase.  And of the pieces I kept, I have washed and worn them all once or twice and so far they look just as nice and have held up well.  Check out my video below for the full review.

A Better Baseline

"How we present ourselves is indicative of so much in our lives: our state of mind, our confidence, our level of self love and expression.  Dressing well is not about showing off or flashing well or trying to impress other people.  Dressing well is about a baseline of self-respect."  Jennifer L. Scott.

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times: "I wish I could wear nice clothes, but I'm not spending the money until I lose this weight."  Those must be some of the saddest words ever uttered.  As someone who once struggled with her weight for many years, I can tell you that when it comes to dressing well most people have it all backwards.  Everyone wants to wait until they're "perfect" before they invest in themselves, but in reality, if you'll care enough about yourself to invest in yourself first, you'll care enough to make other positive changes about yourself.  A person who doesn't value themselves enough to dress well, probably doesn't value themselves enough to eat well, rest well, exercise well.  Dressing well, just like all of those other things, aren't about trying to earn value, or waiting until everything about you is perfect so you have permission to value yourself; it's about choosing to have a baseline of self-respect and dressing/treating yourself in a way that reflects that.  

Outfit Info: Bernie Dexter McCall's Sewing Pattern Dress is Thrifted, Cardigan is from YeMak

Paws & Poise Revisted

Take a step back in time with me.  The year was 2015 and I was over the moon styling my Paws & Poise dress from ModCloth.  Featuring a darling dog print on cream chiffon with a black embroidered collar, this dress was a no hesitation, instant purchase and thankfully so, because it quickly sold out and never restocked.  I styled it different ways, (mainly by changing the cardigan color) and posted lovingly each time.   And then?  The dress, as far as I can tell, has not been featured on the blog since then.  A decade has passed without at single post about this dress?!  A shocking revelation, I know.  Oh, dear, well I intend to rememdy that today.  Yes, I do in fact still own this dress and it is just as darling ten years on as it was that February long ago.

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THEN

NOW

I still love my cardigans and wear them all the time, but sometimes I prefer the more structured look that a blazer provides.  I also did the first few photos with the dress collar out, just to see how it looked, but I typically wear it with the collar under the blazer collar.  I also wear less color these days just to match the vibe of my current workplace.  

Outfit Info:  Paws & Poise Dress, Blazer, belt and flats are all old.

Dark Cottage Core

    I'm absolutely mad about toile.  Wallpaper, shelf paper, upholstry and yes, dresses.  A beautiful blue toile day dress is what drew me to Worth Collective, but I found a couple of other beauties while I was there that also caught my eye.  Since WC sent me a 20% off promo code as a thank you for my first order, I decided to bring home this black and ivory toile beauty and the other as well.  I like to think of this Amalie dress as a dark cottage core.   

    Each of the dresses I purchased are 100% cotton and they're both pregnancy and nursing friendly.  Those days are long gone for me, but love the comfy fit.   I did find this style is a little more flattering for my shape when I added a belt.  In fact, I wore this outfit out to dinner after our little photo session here and as we were walking to our table a mother and teen daughter nearby gasped when they saw this dress and exclaimed, "Oh!  How Pretty!"   Already getting positive feedback on the Amalie and it was my first time to put together an outfit and wear it.  I can't wait to see what else I can come up with.

Outfit Info:  Amalie Dress from Worth Collective

Butterfly Fall with Retro-Stage

Well, well, we have positively worked the summer away.  My goal was to have my house finished by the end of October, but here we sit at October's onset with so much more left to do before the autumn rains begin.  

Since the home improvements are taking longer than expected, I thought it was time I paused from those posts to share a sweet little collaboration with Retro-Stage.

Autumn is nearly here and I have so enjoyed watching the butterflies sipping nectar from all the late summer blooms like thistle and wildflowers.  The end of summer means the end of all the colors, but it's only temporary because the whole wide world is about to burst into color again for autumn.

If you're a butterfly admirer like me, Retro-Stage has a perfect any-kind-of-season collection of butterfly dresses, rompers, and jumpsuits with something for all occasions.

 

Black and ivory is one of my favorite color combos and these 3D embroidered butterflies set on this vintage style dress are so lovely together, it's easy to see why I love Retro-Stage.

Shopping Info: BLACK 1950S BUTTERFLY PATCHWORK VINTAGE DRESS-$59.99 FROM RETRO-STAGE

Classic Stripes

Summer is without a doubt the most inelegant of all the seasons.  It is difficult to feel sophisticated while breaking a sweat.  But, where there's a will, there's a way.  So at times like this I simply ask myself, What Would Audrey Wear.

Audrey Hepburn is the epitome of style in any season or era and at any age.  If she can do it, I can do it, even when it's a million degrees outside and I am starting to have more gray hair than color.

Let's start at the most timeless of patterns: basic black and ivory stripes.  Stripes are chic; I don't know why, but they just are.  So, I started with a simple strip pattern and chose it on this Folded Off-Shoulder Rib Knit Top from ChicWish.  Now it's timeless, but not basic (i.e. Boring) when it's on this neckline. 

Next I added some high waist paper bag trousers that are light and because they sit so high on my waist, they are also comfy for lounging or walking around.  These trousers are so flattering, I wish all my jeans, shorts, and trousers fit like this! And the final touch, and a style tip that I learned from looking at Audrey's most famous photos, is to wear ballet flats instead of flip-flops or sneakers for a more polished look.  Make it even better by wearing flats with a little sparkle instead of basic black. Voila!  A sophisticated style to beat the heat.  

Shopping Info:  
FOLDED OFF-SHOULDER RIB KNIT TOP IN BLACK STRIPE-$29.90 from ChicWish, MOUSSE Rhinestone Pointed Toe Slip On Flats-$42 from NEWBELLA  Use code BLEU to save 18% off your purchase

Casual Chic with NEWBELLA

Three jobs, taking classes, and still being mom to kids who need a ride or a shoulder to cry on now and then.  More often than not, I fall into bed exhausted, and wake up again long before I feel rested.  But, this is the season we're in and there is no getting around it, just getting through it as best as I can.  Now more than ever, I rely on simple, chic pieces in my wardrobe that work with everything and really that make everything look polished and chic.

Classic black ballet flats have been a staple in my wardrobe since 2011 when I bought my very first pair and realized that this was something that had been missing from my style for far too long.  I wore them until they literally fell apart and since then, I've always had a pair of black flats in my closet, but never before have I had flats with such sparkle as these MOUSSE Rhinestone Pointed Toe Flats from NEWBELLA.  Use my code, BLEU, to save 18% off your purchase at NEWBELLA.

I have more outfits planned with all my NEWBELLA shoes from our collaboration, because the possibilities are endless, and especially now, when I have to go casual for one of my jobs, I love that I can dress up jeans and a button down shirt with these flats and suddenly the compliments start rolling in.  They're perfect and I cannot wait to show you all the ways I am wearing them!

Shopping Info:  MOUSSE Rhinestone Pointed Toe Slip On Flats-$42 from NEWBELLA Use code BLEU to save 18% off your purchase