Having Your Cupcake And Wearing It Too

I love fashion, love it so much.  And photography.  When I was a photography student so many decades ago, I could never get people to model for me.  Long before smart phones and the endless supply of selfies that everyone now takes, the world was once filled with shy violets who were just to modest to model.  It was a simpler time, but definitely more frustrating for a blossoming photographer.  

On the rare occasion that I could get someone to come for a session, they were always totally inexperienced and sort of clueless as to how to work with the camera.  And, since my own skill set was also still in the early stages, I had trouble effectively communicating what I wanted without just waling up to someone and outright posing them head to toe.  That's why I started being my own model.  It was just easier to work out where I should stand to be in focus and then pos accordingly than it was to go through the model process.  

Years later as I left the single room in our home in Japan where I took my outfit photos and then edited in an interesting background, I had to teach my husband how to use the camera and work with me.  To his credit, he patiently took the notes I gave him, kept clicking until we had the shot I wanted, and learned exactly what I wanted so that now I prefer to work with him above anyone.  It's just so much simpler and easier.  

One of my favorite aspects of photography back in the day was my time in the dark room.  Now it's Lightroom, but I still love tweaking here, adjusting there and making something beautiful.  So, for today's post, I thought I'd share some previously unshared photos from one of my favorite sessions (5-ish years ago) in one of my all-time favorite style dresses, the Cupcake dress.

Posts That Bear Repeating: Pumpkin Spice Cupcake

The weather and the seasons don't always cooperate or coordinate with my dresses, but this particular dress and day went together just perfectly!

 

Living with Imperativeness

When I was a young teen I saw two lives end in the same week and it changed me.  Looking through photos of their lives I realized that it wasn't that long ago that each of these women was just a young girl like me with dreams and hopes and plans.  How much of those things had come to fruition and how much had fallen by the wayside.  I suddenly saw how very short a time we are all given, some much shorter than others.  I spent the rest of that summer lost in thought.

When I returned to school in the fall it was as a changed person.  Everyone else was the same.  My friends talked about boys and the weekend, and upcoming exams.  I couldn't relate to them anymore (and I didn't try.  How can you explain such an epiphany?  I suppose I'm trying now, but I lacked the words back then.)  For the next year, I stayed lost in thought.  I only slept a few hours a night, it was the beginning of the insomnia that has since followed me for the rest of my life, and when I was awake, the world moved much more slowly, almost as if I was an outsider watching it happen rather than being a part of it.  I saw the patterns, the pathology of it all and I wanted out.

By the time the next summer rolled around I knew I couldn't exist in that system anymore.  I had to get out.  It meant cutting ties and leaving everything behind, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make because I couldn't live my life in limbo anymore, waiting for things to get started.  I had gained a sense of urgency, a deep regard for the preciousness of each moment, and I've never been able to shake it.  

Ever since that first step, I have spent my life living on my own terms, doing everything that I felt mattered so that whenever my life reaches its end, I will go without having to utter those "saddest words of tongue or pen: it might have been."   I will have lived my life to the very fullest.  That used to mean big things like travel and other life experiences.  Now it means smaller things like making time to talk with and teach my children all the things I know, and to reach out to the people I love so that if I should disappear from this life tomorrow there would never be any question in their minds that they were truly loved and valued.  And, yes, it also means taking great enjoyment in putting on a beautiful dress and spending the time and care to throw a little party just because.

Don't sleep your way through life.  Wake up.  Start living.  Make the most of every day in small ways like stopping by a friend's house just to catch up because it's been too long, or in big ways by taking that trip overseas you've always dreamed of, because as long as life seems it is all too short and so very precious.  Life your life with the imperativeness that you only get this one and it goes by so fast.  So, what are you going to do today?

Pumpkin Spice Cupcake Dress

Is it too much to ask to have a cupcake dress for all seasons?  I think not.  Unique Vintage's description calls it "mocha" but I think the colors are so much closer to a pumpkin spice that I've decided to officially make this my autumn cupcake dress! (keep reading for a promo code for UV to save 10% off your next purchase!)

 

There is something about this style that I just cannot get over.  I have it in two other colors, and I adore them all, but I particularly love it when this style has a contrast belt.  It really shows off the shape of the gown so much better and adds even more visual appeal to the overall design.  But, no matter the color, you really can't go wrong with this dress.  The only question is to what event will I wear this dress?

Sometimes, I miss my old life in Japan.  I've traded in the big city and the fast paced lifestyle for a little house in the country where we raise animals and have a garden and I take tea in the afternoons.  It's lovely, really.  But, there were certain aspects of city life at which I thrived.  Life went to hell in the last year there making this dramatic change necessary for my family and me.  I suppose it was always the goal though, we just had to move things up a bit. 

In many ways that traumatic last year has blemished my entire experience there, but there were a couple of things that weren't so bad.  Namely, and in the context of this post, I miss the opportunities to go to formal events several times a year and fine restaurants any time the mood struck.  I miss talking about it, planning for it, and of course I miss the events themselves.  I miss seeing the shine everyone put on and hearing the enthusiasm in the voices chattering at well laid tables or gliding around the dance floor.

Going from Tokyo, Japan to rural middle America has been a total change to our way of life.  And in that change I have noticed a few things.  For example, how often in our current culture do many of us get the opportunity to go to dance, formal or otherwise?  Or even a nice dinner party for that matter?  Beyond the junior high dances and high school prom, I mean.  And night clubs are--well, clubs.

How often do we even go to a big party?  It might be different where you live, but here in rural America the answer is pretty much never.  I don't know about you, but I find that totally unacceptable.  We used to be a total party country using any excuse to gather and celebrate; now everyone's wearing stretchy pants and binge watching Netflix.  What happened America?

And don't blame Covid.  This has been going on for at least 25 years.  Go back to the books written in the 1700s, 1800s, even up to the 1960s and you'll see the seasonal traditions of well dressed folks dancing, drinking, eating, laughing.  There were school concerts, and church dinners, and town dances.  Now we're lucky to get people to show up at all and we're grateful if they show up in their "nice" sweat pants.

Well, whatever the case, I've had enough.  I'm going to be the change I want to see.  I'm officially boycotting dressing down for formal events.  No, no, I'm going further than that.  If you send me an invitation, I'm going to dress way the heck up!  I'm talking formal wear to the afternoon office party.

Ok, I'm exaggerating a little, but rather than sit around missing those old opportunities, I do fully intend to just take advantage of every event presented and every invitation issued to dress to the nines.   (By the way, no disrespect to casual clothes.  They have their place--it's just not at a party.  But, I do love chic lounge wear and next week we're going to cover that topic, so keep an eye out for that one.)

And, I can tell you this:  I don't know where, I don't know when, but I will find an excuse to wear this cupcake dress.  Somehow, someway.  It's just too gorgeous to sit around the house on a Saturday night and wait by the phone.  This is the kind of dress that needs to be seen.  So, the gears are turning and I'm already planning.  We'll see what I can put together.

Shopping Info: Unique Vintage 1950s Mocha Ruffled Tulle Cupcake Swing Dress in XS-XL, Use this link to sign up for UV and get 10% off your purchase!

The Last Unicorn

Every quest has to come to an end at last.  We mortals crave this closure.  There has to be a moment when our hero finally stands on the pinnacle holding her prize aloft, shouting her victory, having arrived.  For me that moment is now and that prize is this dress to end all dresses, and the very last unicorn I hoped to capture-- Unique Vintage's Lavender Cupcake dress.

Perhaps you think I'm over dramatizing my conquest; it's just a dress after all.  But, it's not just a dress, it is the dress.  It is the epitome of everything I love about dresses--the vintage style full skirt and fitted waist, the sweetheart neckline, the  feminine rich colors contrasting in smooth lilac organdy and frothy lavender tulle ruffles.  

You may remember in my post from a month ago, that I just bought one of UV's newer cupcake dresses in berry after having given up on finding this dress, but still being so taken with the style.  I can firmly say, now that I have this dress, that it is the dress to end all dresses and nothing could ever top this, so why bother searching any further.  I have arrived.  I don't exactly know what this means for my shopping/fashion blogging in general, but I don't see how any other dress could possibly top this one.

This dress is a little different than UV's current line of cupcake dresses and I think I like it a little better than the newer versions.  The main difference is that the tulle isn't stiff, so it lays flat and the skirt has less volume.  In newer versions the tulle is stiff and the skirt is fuller which at times can give it an awkward shape.  Not so with this dress, it is practically perfect in every way.

This is precisely the dress I was looking for when I went to prom so many years ago, I just didn't quite know it.  I was invited to prom sort of last minute.  At that time I wasn't in school anymore, but had left to homeschool and graduate early.  Still, a very sweet boy asked me to go with only one week to find a dress.

At that particular time, my parents' farm was overwhelmed with work and they (and I) often worked 16 to 18 hours a day just to keep up with everything, so while my mom said she could spare me for a day or two to go dress shopping, there was no way she could join me.  Without any other women in my life to go with me, I decided to go it on my own with a guy friend who agreed to go along simply because he was in between jobs and incredibly bored.  He had no sense of style and didn't venture any helpful opinions, but he didn't mind driving me around all day.

I went to every vintage clothing shop, knowing from the start that I would have a vintage 1950s-1960s dress.  Full skirt, sweet heart neckline, the works.  The only trouble was that no one thought to give me any money to go dress shopping with and I only had $20 in my wallet.  The day started out hopeful, but by 4pm I was getting desperate.  All the vintage shops had were hideous 80s prom dresses and all over priced at that.  There was one last shop I wanted to try.  It was an antique store, not clothing shop, but they did occasionally carry vintage dresses.

Nothing on the first floor.  Nothing on the second floor.  The third floor was mainly storage and large furniture pieces.  I was walking down stairs, about to leave the store and go home empty handed, when a pile of fabric in the corner drew my eye.  I walked toward it, gaining speed, excited and hopeful that some hidden gem might be buried there.  Then a corner of the loveliest dusty pink caught my eye from the bottom of the pile.  I tugged.  The most gorgeous dress unfurled.  It had no price tag, so I darted down the stairs and asked the clerk.  She shrugged and asked if I thought $7 would be a fair price.  Too excited to speak, I nodded my head, paid the lady, and fairly skipped back to the car.  

When I got home I tried the dress on and other than the straps needing a little adjusting it was a perfect fit.  I felt like it was a Godsend, my perfect vintage dress, and I always look back on that story with a thankful heart as one of the sweetest moments of my troubled teenage years.  This dress may not have quite the emotional impact of that original dress, but it definitely takes me back to that moment.  It has all the beauty of the original but with so much more elegance.  You see why it stole my heart the moment I saw it, and why I've spent so long searching for it, and why no other dress could possibly measure up.  But, then again, maybe they don't have to.  Maybe it's ok for this dress to be the pinnacle and all other dresses to just be neatly, sweetly, themselves.

I know a lot of kids missed out on their prom this year, many others missed out on special occasions as well, and who knows how next year will be.  So, I do want to encourage anyone who's been searching and thinks they've found the perfect dress, but won't be able to wear it---get the dress!  Wear it every chance you get or else create the opportunities to wear it.  You won't regret it.