Dresses and Dreams

When you were little, did you ever have someone ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up?  I did.  All the time.  And I must have given at least a dozen different answers over the years.  I was told that if I could dream it, I could be it.  I'm afraid it's beginning to dawn on me after all these years trying and wearing so many different hats that what I really want to be is a dreamer.  It's the thing I'm best at.

Once I remember a teacher asking us to write an essay about something each of us was good at.  I wrote mine about my imagination.  I told him that I was very good at looking at a thing and seeing it's potential to me something else or something more than it already was.  This was at university, not grade school and I used as my example the time I took a pair of scissors to a frumpy pair of sandals and snipped just a few of the woven strands to create the latest look.  Money saved, sandals upcycled.  It's just something I've always done.  

I have spent many years wondering what I would do with my life, what career I would choose.  I wanted to be a veterinarian, a farmer, a doctor, a teacher, a librarian, a world traveler, a chef, a writer, an artist, a photographer, a designer, and in some way, I have done all those things.  But they're not enough because once I know I can do a thing, I immediately begin wondering what's next; what else can I do?

Once I wondered if I could successfully start my own home business.  I devoted myself to it for five years.  Turns out I can, I did, and then I wanted to do something else.  I remember discussing this with a family member once who was aghast when they asked why I'd closed my business and I gave them that response.  Why wouldn't you keep it going?! she shrieked.  Because it wasn't about the business or even the money, it was about the challenge, the dream.

This type of life model won't work for everyone, but to me, life only feels like it's truly being lived when I'm doing as many of the things I want to do as possible.  Which is why I still play dress up.  I love it.  I kept loving it into my teen years.  I put it away for a while, I was busy caring for babies.  I kept hoping my daughters would love it and I could share all the dress-up things I'd kept with them, but they didn't.  They didn't at all.

I don't mind that they have their own interests, in fact, it's something I love about them.  They can be them and I'll keep being me.  Beautiful dresses make me happy and spark my imagination.

 

Take this little tea party for example.  Oh, the tea and cake were lovely and it was a perfect afternoon, even if the wind did reek a little havoc with my garland.  But, it was thinking it all up and putting it together that I most enjoyed.....well, that and wearing the dress.  I reeeeeeallly like wearing the dress.  So, why bother limiting yourself to just one thing in life?  I'm going to keep dreaming as much as possible and doing what I love and I hope you will too.

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