Prom Perfect

If you have a special event coming up and you caught my previous post about the recent price spike in pretty dresses, you may be breathing a depressed sigh over the whole affair.  Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more.  There are some very reasonable options out there and with Prom season just around the corner it's time for us to start shopping too, but I know a few great places to find an inexpensive dress.  This is the first year that my beautiful oldest girl and I will really be going shopping for dresses.  She decided to save up for one really great prom dress, so last year it was something we pulled together from my closet, this year we may splurge or she may save the splurge for another year, we'll just have to see but I am excited to shop with her and find the dress that looks and fits like it was made just for her.

I have been very fortunate to work with some amazing dress companies in the last few months who have opened my eyes to all the possibilities for gorgeous gowns and very reasonable and affordable prices and in the upcoming days I will be posting photos, videos, and links for all the fabulous options out there that I have personally tried and loved.

Today we start with this dreamy glitter dress from Lunamis.  With hundreds of dresses to choose from I was hard pressed to find just one until my eyes met this beauty.  It reminds me a lot of the dress I actually wore to prom with the exception that it is far more stunning, glamourous and glittery than my vintage plain Jane.

Last year, my girl came to me with only a few days to find a prom dress.  Thankfully this year we have more time but I love that at Lunamis, even though I custom sized this dress it still arrived in only a few short weeks, which is very reassuring when you're on such an important deadline.

I absolutely love this dress, it fulfills all my princess dreams, and if I'd said that before, it's because it's so true! and I can't wait to see what my girl is going to find to make her prom and princess dreams come true. 

Shopping Info:  A-Line Pink Floor Length Rhinestone Tulle Prom Dress-$159 from Lunamis

Unpopular Opinion: I Don't Like Hollywood

Get ready for a small rambling post today:

The more I learn about Hollywood the less I like it.  From what goes on behind the scenes to what they put on the screens, I don't like Hollywood.

To confess a truth, it's been over a year since I even turned on the television.  We watch older television shows now and then, (think Frasier and 30 Rock) and some old movies,  or rarely a new one (How could I not watch the new Spiderman?!) but thanks to all these pre-paid streaming services, no one cares what's on as long as there's something to watch so they're not trying any more.  Life is short.  I can't waste it watching vapid, brainless soap operas about teenaged Hungarian werewolves trying to fight acne and the urge to maul their tennis coach over a lesson-turned-game-of-fetch while attending high school and dealing with fleas.  Hard pass.  But, I have to admit that where Hollywood takes style, the world follows.  Of course, if I have to follow a Hollywood trend, I'll choose mine from those in Hollywood's golden era like this Brigitte Bardot inspired neckline.  It is something that never goes out of style.

It's a little unconventional in this Clueless (?) inspired  yellow plaid, but good fashion adapts itself to many decades, and I do adore this flannel dress, especially in the goldenrod fields fall and the snowy woods of winter.  So, while Hollywood currently may not have much to offer even in the realm of fashion, there is still a wide, wide, world that does and I'm thankful not to have any screen distracting me from being out in it.

Dress is old from Shein.com

*sigh* Price Hikes on Pretty Dresses

I'm going through some serious withdrawals right now.  I haven't been able to get out and wear any of my pretty dresses for quite a while because it's just been too cold.  Also, I ordered one dress from Chotronette back in November and it still hasn't even shipped yet.  It's been over two months and I'm ready to see my dress!

I contacted Chotronette and they said the dress will ship sometime in January, but I can't help but be impatient after two months of waiting.  I also bought a dress  from Teuta Matoshi during the Black Friday sale and as you may have guessed, I'm still waiting for it too.

More disappointing news in this post I'm afraid as it seems that all of Chotronette's dresses have increased in price by about $400 per dress!  Some price increase due to inflation is to be expected but a dress going from $800 to $1200 overnight is outrageous.

These are beautiful dresses and if you have a special event, they really are fantastic, but they were already so expensive and I'm so sad to see that they've become even less affordable.  Believe it or not, I do have a spending limit on my dresses and unfortunately, $1200 is well beyond that limit.

I suppose there's nothing to be done except to adore the dress I have, patiently await better weather and the beautiful dresses that are on the way, and hope that things will get better soon so that these beautiful dresses will be a little more affordable again. 

Shopping Info: Garden Parfait dress from Chotronette

Shopping Addiction: Finding Your Reason Why

I was huffing and puff through a workout recently when the instructor said something that made me pause, and not just to catch my breath.  She said, "Why are you doing this?  When you find your Why, you can handle any How."  As much time as I usually spend hating this woman during class, she gets results and one of the reasons she gets results is because she understands that people need to be treated holistically: body, mind, spirit.  Like any change we want to make to ourselves or our situations, fitness isn't just physical, it's mental and spiritual and if it's approached any other way it is unlikely to last through all of life's difficulties.

There's more to Why than meets the eye.  In my class, my instructor meant for each of us to find our inspiration, our reason for getting out of bed and exercising each day, and she couldn't be more right.  You do in fact have to have a reason why you want to change.  But, as I've got older, I've come to realize that most people don't know why they do anything good or bad.  They live their lives in  a haze of wants, impulses, and emotions totally unaware of their self-talk, their motivations, their triggers, etc.  And, my dear friends, as Socrates once said, "The unexamined life isn't worth living."  Animals live unaware of their thoughts, motivated by instinct, never considering tomorrow's consequences of today's actions.  People are meant to ponder.  People are meant to search their hearts, to ask and to learn Why.  So perhaps before you can find a reason why you want to change, you need to find a reason why you do the things you do.

How often to you examine your motives?  If you've fallen into some bad habits, or if your life is a total mess, it's probably time to ask yourself why and to take inventory of your life and your thoughts.  When approaching something like shopping addiction, it's important to do a personal inventory.  This is Step 4 in the 12 Step Program and it's one of the most critical if you wish to achieve success.  Being successful in ending a bad habit or beginning a good one isn't as easy as saying, I just will.  Your "will," better known as "will power" is a short lived thing and not to be trusted for more than a day or two at most.  

If you want to make a change in your shopping habits, begin with writing down everything single penny you spend for a month.  At the end of each day, journal about your feelings, what happened, things that may have triggered you, etc.  At the end of that month, take a look at the days you were more likely to spend and compare then with what was happening that day, either internally or in your external environment that made you turn to shopping for comfort, excitement, relief, whatever.  Now you're getting somewhere, but you have to keep going. A good personal inventory (<-that's the link to a free personal inventory through 12steppers.org) is going to go all the way back to when you first began to use shopping to meet a need in your life.  It's going to focus on that need, the hurts, and perhaps trauma attached to it.  

Once you have really uncovered all the pain and really gone all the way back to the beginning of it all, then and only then can you begin to work on the healing, changing, and forgiving, but it all has to start with Why.  So, if you are unhappy with the amount you spend and the amount of time you spend shopping or wanting to shop, it's time to start paying attention and asking yourself why you do this.  Because you can't know how to fix the problem until you know why it is happening.  So, ask yourself that question; the answer might be the key to lasting change.

Shopping Info:  everything in this outfit is old, just to help you avoid temptation

Are they worth it?

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever.  That's something I believe.  The question is, is it worth it to own the thing itself?  Well, that depends on the person and the thing.  I've really enjoyed being on the Selkie forums this year.  I didn't know they existed until I posted a pic of myself in a Selkie dress and received and invitation from the page's admin, but I'm so glad I found these people; they're my people.

For some people, they love to see me wearing my dresses, but they feel they could never spend the money (doesn't matter how much or how little it costs) and I understand, so they look and dream.  Some will look and dream for a while, but every so often will have to make that dream come true and I applaud them for that.  Some people think my dresses are ridiculous and a total waste and I understand where they're coming from too, because I look at their lives and see things they buy that I think are a total waste.  To me, these dresses are worth it.  To them, their trinkets are worth it.

Over time I've learned not to judge on terms of value, not to think one of us is right and one is wrong, but simply to accept that we value different things and there's nothing wrong with that.  You enjoy what you enjoy and I will do the same; I'll be happy for you and you be happy for me. 

But it's  very hard not to have anyone in my life with whom to share the things that make me excited like when Teuta Matoshi had her big Black Friday sale and I was pink with a barely controlled glee but no one around me even batted an eye.  Everyone was shambling about their day with dull eyes, like they didn't just hear me say 30% OFF!  Their lack of enthusiasm puts a damper on my own excitement.

During a recent Selkie sale, I was so excited to get one of the dresses I had been dreaming about at an extra 40% off plus 15% off that I was giddy.  But, I also have some savings goals and didn't want to blow it all on this sale and risk not having enough money saved when the spring collection releases, so I wanted a second opinion.  I asked at home and got nothing but sheer disdain.  I went to work and enlisted the advice of a trusted colleague.  She came to my office, but once she saw what I wanted to ask about, she rolled her eyes and groaned.  It hurt.  A lot.  I turned to her and said, "I'm sorry I asked you to come in here.  Just forget I asked, I can figure this out on my own."  Suddenly sorry for her rudeness, she started scrambling to offer some kind of opinion, but I waved her back to her own desk.  Never mind that I've either been happy or feigned interest in her new puppy pics for months.  It's disappointing when the people in your life can't be bothered to at least make an effort to be involved in the things we love.  But when one avenue fails, try another.  

So, when I got invited to join some Selkie fan groups, I accepted, hoping to find fellow fashionistas who will be kind and supportive and just share in my joy.  Not every group is the same (I was a part of one group for a while that just a bunch of super cranky old ladies who only shopped at Nordstrom's and had nothing nice to say, so I left), but so far I can honestly say that in these groups, we get each other when it comes to fashion.  Finding these groups of people who not only share my love and eagerness, but are also willing to answer questions, give advice, share news of sales and promo codes is a dream come true.  And for the most part, everyone in these groups has been very polite as well, which is becoming so rare on any social media platform that I feel really fortunate to have found them and I hope it lasts.  Because, I work hard to afford my dresses, they're worth every penny to me and it's nice to have other people in my life who understand that.

Shopping Info: Floral Dreams Dress from Teuta Matoshi.  Use my link to save 10% off your purchase.

Gratitude Starts with Your Attitude

The boss called and said we've got a project coming up, we're getting new furniture.  It's fantastic because we need it, but it also means I (and most of the staff) will be doing a lot of very heavy lifting.  I'm not a fan of moving heavy stuff from one place to another, which is why I've never had a gym membership, and in moments like this I'm tempted to complain.  But, there is an alternative that I've found very helpful--I look for reasons to be thankful instead.

A few years ago I was on an environmentally-conscious kick and I bought a push-reel mower.  Ever used a push-reel?  They work really well if you have a nice flat yard with no rocks or sticks of any kind.  But, I never have had a yard like that.  A couple of years later, I moved to a house with a yard entirely composed of hills that came complete with this ginger-witch for a property manager who drove by my house in November after three straight weeks of rain when there was two inches of standing water in my yard and shrieked at me that the yard must be mowed as part of the rental agreement.  All I had was the push-reel.  So, I slogged and sloshed through all the water, pushing that horrible mower up all the steep hills, pausing every few minutes to remove the tiny twigs that invariably caused the blades to jam.  It took me two hours twice a week to keep my yard mowed with the push-reel. 

I hated Ginger, (yes, she was a ginger named Ginger) and I hated mowing that stupid yard.  I was filled with hatred every second for the 14,400 seconds each week that it took me to mow that yard.  Then something happened.  One day, while I was out mowing, I looked across the street and saw my elderly and very unwell neighbor.  She could barely walk down the driveway to check her mail each day, and every step was painful.  I stopped my internal grumbling and thought, I'm so glad that I'm healthy.  That moment of gratitude opened the door and I heard a new thought pass through my mind: be thankful you're well and healthy enough to mow your yard.  That thought stopped me in my tracks.  I closed my eyes and said a prayer of thankfulness to God for my health, prayed also for my neighbor's health and then continued mowing with a positive attitude. (No, I didn't offer to mow my neighbor's yard, her adult children came by and did that for her each month, but I would have if she'd needed it). 

After that, each week I spent my mowing sessions being thankful not just for my health but for a nice house with a big yard and so many other things.  It also became a time to pray and meditate as things entered my mind.  Over a short amount of time I saw my anxiety turn to peace and my scorn become gratefulness.  I didn't exactly look forward to mowing, but I didn't hate it anymore either.  The situation had not changed, only my attitude toward it and that made all the difference.  So, I look at this upcoming furniture move at work as a way to get some exercise, build some muscle, help out a boss I adore, and I'm thankful for the opportunity.

Shopping Info:  GownTown Women's 1950s V-Neck Adjustable Bowknot Swing Cocktail Dress-$36

Beach Memories

In honor of our snowfall this week, I thought I'd take a look back at warmer days.  Memories of this wonderful trip last year that was just Mr. Bleu and myself.  The children had other things going on and couldn't come with us, but we had the perfect time just the two of us.  When I say the "perfect" time I mean that we did exactly what I always wanted to do on a beach vacation--nothing. 

It seems like there is always a daunting pressure to Do Things while on vacation.  Sight-seeing, amusement parks, tours, dinner, dancing, and the likes are all very nice but not very relaxing for an introvert such as myself so I don't consider them to be much of a vacation.  I've always just wanted to spend my entire vacation laying on the beach, reading, eating, swimming, napping, but mostly just napping, and on this particular trip that's all we did.

We got to the beach early each morning before anyone else was there, set up our little tent and then took a nice long walk with the whole oceanside to ourselves each day.  Then we crawled in our tent and relaxed while the days slipped by with no schedule and no pressure and I hope we get to do it again this year.

A Long Winter's Rest

I woke up this morning to the second snow of the year.  Typically we only get one or two, but it's only mid January and we've already hit our quota, which may mean we're in for a rough winter.  After a long week of really dreadful insomnia, it felt good to sleep in late this morning and be greeted by that added brightness that snow brings only to know that apart from the mad dash to feed and water all the critters, I did not have to be out in the snow.  

It was around this time last year that I decided to step back from blogging a little.  I was doing one post per day and it was taking up a lot of time.  I didn't mind too much when I had more free time, but life has become particularly busy and I just found myself becoming more and more exhausted trying to work it all in.  Something had to give.

Unfortunately it was the blog.  It was really the only thing I had the power to prune in the schedule, so I did.  I cut my blog posting in half and it made a big difference.  The trouble is, sometimes the less you do something the less you want to do it.  I love taking photos on a beautiful spring, summer, or autumn day, and I'm thankful that the warm days lasted all the way through December last year, but winter is finally here, and I have not missed winter photo sessions, so this winter, I may do next to none.

I have lots of things in the works right now, lots of projects and lots of plans.  Just....waiting on the weather to cooperate a little more.  After so many years of waking up before dawn and taking photos in freezing temps in order to have a little privacy during the golden hours, I'm taking a little break this year.  

Instead we're spending most weekends sleeping in, enjoying the sunrise instead of racing against it, bundling up in lots of layers and looking at the cold world through a window instead of shivering out in it, hoping my goosebumps don't ruin the photos so that we have to go out again and re-shoot.

This also gives me the opportunity to use a lot of the shots that get lost in the shuffle.  I hate to see them sitting in the folder, just waiting for their turn, so now it's their time to shine and my time to hibernate for the winter.  I'm sure I'll get out and do a few photos in the next few months, especially if we have another lovely snowfall, but if not, then I'll definitely be out for the spring flowers once they come around again.

Choose One Style or Love Them All?

What would you call this style?  I'm not really sure.  Space Sailor?  In a general sense it's vintage, but I've got a couple of different things going on here and it may be too much.  That's in keeping with the times because I don't really know what's going on with fashion right now.  I felt like I had my finger on the pulse of  the fashion community for a while, but after a year locked-down, things have gone in so many different directions, I don't even know where to begin.  (keep scrolling for a promo code on this top from Belle Poque!)

I think it's great that there are so many style options out there, but to be perfectly honest I think clothing shops just find it confusing.  They can't focus on one newest trend, so there's a lot of really bad or really-should-have-gone-away-by-now fashion out there.

I know the feeling of loving a certain style and desperately buying what remains of it as trends change and supply dwindles.  As a recent example, Schwarzkopf discontinued my hair color, so it was either pay $25 per box (as opposed to its usual $8) or be forced to change; I changed.  But, I also think change is good sometimes and we only change when we have to.

So, if you've been wearing and loving your skinny jeans and baggy tops for over a decade now with no end to the trend in site, Huzzah! this is your time!  But, if you've been over those styles for a few years now and wish they'd just bring back straight leg-midrise jeans so you can finally breathe and have full range of motion again, you're not alone, but we may all just be out of luck together for a while.

The positive side of fashion going so many ways from Academia, Cottage, Princess, Fey, Grunge, Y2K, etc. is that people can wear whatever they want and no one really thinks twice.  That is an amazing freedom and not one to be taken for granted.  The downside is of course that it's so hard to pick a trend or know what's on trend that people give up, and crawl into a pair of yoga pants and a t shirt and never want to come out again.

If only the fashion industry can keep up with so many different styles and tastes, and maybe if we could whittle things down a little so there are only a few major/mainstream options, I think we'll all be happy with the clothes out there.  Until things settle down a little, I'll just keep doing my eclectic thing and waiting for comfortable jeans to make a come-back.  

Shopping Info:  Use promo code Leandra to save 20% on this top at Bellepoque.com