A Different Kind of Day

We're addicted.  We are a world of people addicted to great multitudes of things and very few of them are good for us.  I saw it years ago, long before smart phones and social media came along, when it was just video games and the good ol' internet sinking its claws into people.  I remember watching my friends and family members of the same age abandon pretend play in favor of sitting in front of a screen for hours on end desperately trying to get a stereotypical Italian plumber to smash turtles and rescue a princess.  And it only got worse.  Once I saw it, I couldn't un-see it.  And I wanted out.

As a single young woman, I had so much control over my life that I made a committment to do things differently, to not join the rat race.  As a young mother, I opted out of the standard life that everyone seemed OK living and worked hard at giving my children something different.  It was a blessing to not only live my dream and according to my convictions but to show my children a different way.  But, the house always wins, as they say, and the world broke through my safe haven and burnt it to the ground.  So, I had to give in and live life in a way that I never wanted to, and I can say with all honesty that every single moment of it has felt like an utter waste.  I kept going, because what else is there to do?

Now it seems that life has brought me to a fork in the road.  And I had to make a very hard choice.  What made it difficult is that there was no right and wrong in this decision, only right or left.  So, I chose.  While I am sad for all the things I am leaving behind, this morning I woke up to a different kind of day.  A day more like the kind of life I wanted to lead, was blessed to lead for a time.  A life where there is less.  Less rush, less chaos, less clutter, less chatter, less interactions, less complications, less wants.  Just less.  

Wake up, make the bed, do the dishes, read and meditate, exercise, cook, vacuum, sweep, care, tend, dust, straighten, listen, rest.

I was foolish enough to think it would last forever on the last go round.  This time I'll be more careful to know and accept that this may not last forever, but I will make the most of each and every day, beginning this morning with a different kind of day.

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