I don't talk about my children much on the blog and I don't show photos of them anymore. They've reached an age where they need privacy to grow and make mistakes and be awkward and all the other things that come with this time in their lives. Having an audience for this very normal phase/rite of passage seem like an insurmountable and paralyzing hurdle. I don't want that for my children. So, I've given them their space.
But, my baby has reached a milestone birthday and as I look back on our years together, from the first moment I knew she was on the way to the very present, I am so proud, so in awe of the wonderful person she is. Her talent and creativity far exceed my own and it is my prayer that she will have a blessed and happy life, the way she has blessed and brought happiness into my life.
She's on my mind today because she helped me with this little photoshoot. I had everything set up; I just needed someone to push the button for me. So, she came along and lent more than a hand, she lent some advice. This butterfly on the nose pose was entirely her idea and she said things like, "now cross those eyes, cross em' girl!" so that I was laughing so much that all the smiles you see here are genuine and there are many more pics of me laughing which were just too blurry to post. I can now say that of all the hundreds of photos I've taken, this collaboration with my daughter was my favorite.
Perhaps it is an oversimplification to say that life is all about staying out of one ditch or the other and keeping oneself in the middle of the road, but sometimes we don't need complex analyses. Sometimes we just need a little mantra that sums it all up and keeps us on track.
For creative personalities, this is a constant challenge. The highs and lows are part for the course. They may be mild or severe but what you can count on is that they will happen, usually in correlation with starting and ending a new project, but also just because. The options for dealing with this are basically to medicate or be vigilant about monitoring oneself and keeping the emotions in check. That last route is exhausting and I don't judge anyone who needs medical intervention whether it's temporary or permanent. Life is a difficult thing and we're all just doing the very best we can to navigate it.
I've been in a slump for the past.....I don't even know how long. Weeks? Months? Whatever the case, that's where I've been. It started out quite innocently. Winter, injuries, work crises, farm mishaps, and as a result I had to take some time away from creativity. It was necessary. I was so busy trying to keep things going that I forgot to keep myself--my thoughts, emotions, sleep and exercise habits--in check that I didn't realize things were so bad until they were really bad. I was focused on this side of the road so long I was in the ditch. Depression, apathy, the works. When I realized it, I knew it was time to get to (creative) work and so I began thinking about new projects.
Life can't be all work and no play, but it also can't be all play and no work. Human beings need a reason to get out of bed in the morning, a purpose, a goal. We also need permission to sleep in now and then and leisurely piddle at things we enjoy. It's all about balance. This outdoor photo shoot with my Matoshi dresses was really the only creative thing I've worked on in months, so it's time to look ahead. I've made a decision to focus less on the fashion element of my blog and more on the photography aspect (again?). Gowns like these, need more exposure, but beyond that, I miss the creative work it takes to put together a shoot like this and I want to do more of it. Also, let's be honest, my bank account has taken a serious hit buying these gowns and it needs a little R&R.
Most of my favorite Instagrammers live in Europe or the U.K. and sometimes I wish I lived in one of those fabulous places where you can't cross a street without running into a castle, or an epic view, but I don't. That means it takes far more planning to find and reserve time in beautiful spaces. Not to worry though, it's just another part of the challenge to my creativity. I have a few places booked this spring and I can't wait to show you the results of my efforts, but until then we'll just have to content ourselves with the very last of my winter outfits and pics. Oh, our orange tabby (the one so recently shaped like a mini-basketball) just had a litter of kittens not to mention some of the other proud animal mamas around here, so there may very soon be a few photos of baby animals in the mix for good measure.
I cannot tell you how good it feels to be out doing things again. I've been working on projects both indoors and out, one of which I hope to show you soon, but all of which are giving me back some feeling of purpose after a long cold winter.
I hope you're in a part of the world where spring is springing instead of winter lingering, and if you are then you already know that it is quite literally a breath of fresh air and it feels even better to be out in the sunshine in a crisp cotton dress with a cheery citrus print.
Hello, Pockets!!
Emily and Fin is a brand I have adored for years. I am so excited to be collaborating with them!! I look forward to each collection they release because I'm certain to find more than a few favorites. There's lots to love in their latest collection aptly titled Ode to Summer, but this Florence Mini Summer Oranges Dress made me feel in such good spirits just looking at it, I knew it would be perfect to welcome the return of the sunshine and the flowers and all things spring.
This Florence dress has a fitted waist, nice full skirt, it's fully lined with a cream cotton fabric. It has a cross front neckline, shaped waist band, and pleats on the skirt. This off-the-shoulder silhouette is so such a lovely, romantic touch. There really is nothing quite like a cotton dress to make me feel at once supremely feminine and strong and comfortable in my skin. Add to that a beautiful print and a perfect fit and feel nearly ready to take on my day with grace.
A quiet bicycle ride to a secluded meadow. Picking daffodils in a pretty dress, with the sunshine on my shoulders. This moment was months in the making, but it was well worth the wait. This is my mediation, my therapy, my peace, my reward and my rest from the difficult days behind me and still yet ahead of me.
I'm afraid this time though I nearly picked the fields bare of daffodils. I couldn't help myself. I don't mind admitting this because they'll be gone from all the meadows and woods in just a few days more. They smell so sweet and they bring a little dose of spring and sunshine into my home, that I think it's ok to bring them inside before they disappear for another year.
If you haven't seen Emily and Fin's new collection, you must have a look. There's so much to love and the season is just right for cotton fabrics and bright prints, and picking dozens of daffodils in the sunshine.
There's no such thing as just going outside to be by myself around here. I spread out a little afternoon tea on a blanket under the trees and was immediately beset by every cat on the farm and they are appealed to me with desperate cries as though they're terribly starved for affection.
I won't complain about the company. In fact, we're due any day now to welcome a few new faces in case you couldn't guess by the size of this little orange basketball of a cat who irreverently photo bombed me at every possible turn.
She spends most of her time being a vicious terror, but impending motherhood has softened her a little and I can hardly step outside without her yowling and following me around demanding love.
I'm excited for spring and all the new faces coming to the farm, whether it's kittens, bunnies, puppies, chicks, or even a few goats. We're far from human friendships out here, but our dear animal friends have filled our lives with so much joy, entertainment and companionship, that I would never say it's boring in the country.
Photos to follow of all our new comers here on the farm as soon as they make their arrival.
Just when I think spring is finally here, winter gives one last icy gasp. We went bed last night in shorts and t-shirts. We woke up this morning to yet another winter wonderland and I spent about an hour starting a fire so we could stop shivering. Fortunately it melted of very quickly and perhaps this will be the last of the year.
I'm excited because today my daughter is coming home from a week long school trip. I have missed her!! And I don't want anything to stand in the way of her homecoming, especially not icy roads. I'm proud of her for taking this step, she's not the type to be away from home--I never was either--but we can't let our anxieties become excuses which then become limitations and eventually prisons.
Everyone has anxiety, did you know that? For the most part it's perfectly normal. The very best thing you can do is not let your fears stop you from doing.....anything. Much like my girl, I hated being away from home. I stopped sleeping at friends' houses by the age of 12 and stopped inviting friends over shortly after that. I announced this to my friends with a brief speech that went something like: I regret to inform you all that I will no longer be having or attending sleepovers. I spend roughly 35 hours a week with all of you at school and the weekends are my time. That is all. They didn't take it well.
Eliminating this thing that made me so anxious, so uncomfortable, it felt right--at first. But as I grew, I realized that as much as I didn't like being away from home, I desperately wanted to travel and see everything this world had in it. I had to give something up: either my dream of traveling of my anxiety about being away from home, and also flying, getting lost, etc. I chose my dream over my anxieties. It was a big step and the first of many that led me out of the prison of living in fear and into a world of possibilities.
I won't say all of my fears were unfounded, I've had my fair share of troubles along the road, things that might make a person fearful of ever getting out there again. But troubles will find you no matter how "safe" you think you're playing it, and none of my mishaps outweigh the adventures I've had and I wouldn't trade a second of it for a more "comfortable" life.
My daughter is growing up too, she has dreams of her own and none of them involve staying home. She took a pretty big step this week. It wasn't easy for her, important things never are, in fact it was down right uncomfortable getting out there, but I know she will come back from this with more confidence in herself and her abilities and this step will lead to another and another and each one will bring her closer to her dreams and the kind of life she wants to live.
What about you, dear reader, what are you waiting for? Is there something in your life that you'd like to do but your fears are holding you back? Take a step in that direction, no matter how small a step it is, no matter how anxious and uncomfortable it makes you. Then another and another until your fears are behind you and your dreams are within reach.
I'm sure Mr. Shakespeare wouldn't mind me borrowing a line from him, and totally out of context, especially if he could see the dress it's devoted to. This dress is made of the stuff of dreams if anything ever were. It is so stunningly gorgeous and I'm afraid with each new Teuta dress I only want more.
Finding a new designer from whom I adore absolutely everything is like the excitement of young love when you meet someone new and wonder, are you the one? Unlike love, I've never really found a "forever" kind of relationship with a designer, and that's how it's meant to be in the fashion world. Styles are for a season in your life. Your look will change as your life and body change, and that's how it should be.
For the moment and the season, I am perfectly pleased to be totally obsessed with all things Teuta Matoshi. These dresses are beyond gorgeous and amazing and everything I'd want and totally frivolous to a woman living on a homestead in the mid-west, but what's life without a little frivolity now and then? The farm will take every ounce of femininity a girl has if she's not careful.
When I first discovered TM, I just adored every single dress I saw, but I was particularly taken with this Floral Dreams dress. Of all her dresses, this one was my dream dress. I would have ordered it immediately, but because it was beyond floor-length I decided against it since I've never been to a single event in my life where I needed such a gown. I opted for two other dresses, which you can view here and here. While I waited on them to arrive, I kept looking back at the Floral Dreams dress and wondering why couldn't they just make a shorter skirt. So......I asked them. And they said yes!
They fully customized the size of the dress for my measurements and it fits like a glove. Like a glove that was made for me personally. Like they took photos of my hand and made a plaster cast and sewed every stitch while thinking of me. That kind of glove. Wow, I've never had a custom made dress before. And now that I have, I don't know if I can go back to off-the-rack sizes after this.
Forgive me for posting a little late this morning. The woods were boisterous and musical, everything waking up and coming alive, and the sunshine was so sweet that I took my time and filled my arms with so many blossoms that you may rightly be wondering at this moment, Did she leave any daffodils? Well, there just happens to be an old one room school house on my route, and every spring, the woods around it are filled, and filled to the brim, with daffodils, more than I could carry.
I imagine some school teacher wanting to spruce up her new home or a mother planting those bulbs a hundred years ago. Maybe she wanted to make the school house seem a little more welcoming to some nervous new teacher. Maybe she just wanted to care for her community. Or perhaps it was done to please all the little children every spring, who undoubtedly came home with rosy cheeks, wind swept hair, and a chubby fist filled with flowers.
Then with sparkling eyes and outstretched arms, offering their prize for the delight of their mothers or to grace the teacher's desk. And here it is, all these many years later, a monument to a simple act of thoughtfulness by some person whose name is lost to time but whose legacy lives on each spring.
So, while I picked (and picked and picked) I couldn't possibly take them all. What I did take away was a wonderful memory of a beautiful spring morning and a dream and desire to plant my own daffodil garden this autumn in the hopes that I might also leave behind something beautiful that will come again each spring long after I am gone.
A few nights ago, the first of the spring rains arrived. It was such a mild day that I threw open the windows and let that gentle storm be the lullaby for us all that night. The next morning bright shocks of green clover and tiny green buds on the tree branches greeted me.
Finally, finally, and ever so slowly it is starting to be spring. We still have a week or two of the drab and maybe a few chilly days, but spring is beginning.
I still haven't really been out to take photos, but when I do, prepare yourself for so, so many flowers. I was going through photos from previous years, looking at the dates and trying to get a feel for how much longer it would be before I can go out and take photos in blossoms of any kind and I was overwhelmed by just how many different kinds of flowers bloom around here in so short a space of time.
It really is remarkable that so many of my photos come from roughly a two week time span. I only hope all the pretty dresses I've ordered will actually arrive in time for the flowers. Ugh, the wait is agonizing. I'll think of something though, because we simply cannot have spring on the blog without flowers.
Fingers crossed, everyone, only a couple more weeks to go!
It's wonderful when things just work out. It's also rather unexpected--at least in my life. I usually make a plan B for every situation and sometimes a plan C when things look too impossible. Even with all that preparation there are still things that come up which knock me for a loop and that, quite simply, is called living.
That's why it's so nice when things actually do work out and even better when something comes together even though I haven't been planning it at all. Take this little field of snapdragons for example. In early October I was driving with a friend. She takes a different route than I typically do. I've never really minded taking the long way home and that day was no exception since I was in no hurry.
That's when I spied this field of snapdragons growing in perfect rows, just lazing in the sunshine, practically begging me to stop. I didn't stop right then, but I did make a point to come back within just a few days to take some pics and I'm glad I did because not only was the lighting just perfect, but the frost swept through only a few days after my little photo shoot and all these lovely flowers were gone.
I was sorry to see them go so soon after discovering them, I know they'll be back next year and I'll to enjoy their beauty once more. Plus, spring is nearly here with lots of glorious flowers on the way to enjoy.
Shopping Info: Dress from SheIn, flats from Charlotte Russe
In the past I have been a member of the blogger affiliate program for the following brands: ModCloth, SheIn, Romwe, ChicWish, KarinaDresses, Zapaka, Ticked Teal, Etsy, Rock Flower Paper, ASOS, Sally Beauty, Claire's, Morning Lavender, Role Cosplay, RoseGal, Capsul Jewelry, Berrylook, Milanoo, EricDress, Retro-Stage, VIVAIA, Bellepoque, Naturevibe Botanicals, Forlest,
While I am no longer affiliated with any brands, posts containing these brands may have contained affiliate links, meaning if you clicked the link and made a purchase I may have received a commission.
For some of these brands I am or have been also a collaboration partner. What this means is that the brand has sent items for me to promote/review free of charge. In those posts I will note that this is a collaboration between myself and the brand.
