The Best Love Stories

I did this little photo session with Love stories in mind, but along the way to writing it, a recent hit song hijacked my topic a little.  Maybe I'm behind the times, (at least I'm consistent on that point), but I just heard Miley Cyrus's new song, Flowers.  It's catchy, like many of her songs, and timely given it's about love and just in time for Valentine's Day, so I can see why it's topping the charts and all over social media videos.  Tis the season of love, after all.  Except love is exactly where the song falls short.  It's about a woman whose relationship ended and she feels sad, but then realizes that the greatest love she could ever have is with...herself?  Ew.  What a pathetic attempt to legitimize loneliness and self-absorption.

The end of a marriage or other committed relationship, in other words, a broken heart, is truly one of the most devastating things a person can experience.  Physically, psychologically, emotionally, the damage is extensive, and sometimes, we need to take time for ourselves to heal.  But we must never confuse egotism for healing or self absorption for love.  While this song may have just enough of a catchy tune to keep in on the charts for a while, it will ultimately fade away because it misses the entire meaning of love.  Flowers is all about the self, and if I may quote the greatest love story ever told, "Love is not self seeking."

As much as I'd like to think people wouldn't latch on to a message like Flowers, I've seen a rather unfortunate trend the last few years of single women on social media bragging about making their Valentine's Day all about themselves since they aren't in a romantic relationship.  Ok, ok, so you aren't in love and it's Valentine's Day.  That sucks and it's fine to make one all about yourself. But, all of them until (if?) you do meet someone to share your life with?  Sounds like the very best recipe for loneliness and an empty life to me.

The best love stories aren't about one person loving themselves.  I can't think of a single story worth reading with that plotline.  Rather, the very best stories are the ones where people love others more than themselves.  If you've had your heart broken, take some time to take care of yourself and heal, but then look outside yourself and your pain to find hope and love.  Love is the kind of thing that only grows the more you give it away.

Not only that, but when it comes to finding someone to share your life with, keep in mind that no one in the dating scene is looking for someone who is all about themselves, who actually says "I can buy myself flowers, have long talks with myself, and love myself better than you ever could."  Would you want to be with someone like that?  People on the hunt for their soulmate want someone who is kind and cares for others, who not only appreciates thoughtful gestures, but also makes a few of them too.

As someone who has had her heart broken and spent more than her fair share of Valentine's Days all alone and/or lonely, take my advice, the very best kind of love is the kind you give to others, expecting nothing in return.  Write your own love story, make it all about how much you gave, not how much you got and you cannot help but have the happiest of lives with the happiest of endings.

Shopping Info: Crimson Beach Day Dress from Selkie, Loafers from SheIn

A Controversial Kiss

First of all, let me just say, No, this post isn't about a scandalous affair, although as I write that, even I'm a little disappointed.  Instead this post is about a Kiss on the Lips Print from Selkie's spring collection that caused quite a stir in the chats leading up to the drop. 

Of the 40 or so comments about the print, the majority, say two-thirds, were strongly opposed to this print with most saying that it was "too juvenile" (unlike all other Selkie which is sooooo mature?  I thought we all loved Selkie because of its girlishness) or that it reminded them of a cheap brand like XXI or SheIn, and/or something from a long time ago although the timelines ranged from the 1980s-to 2012.  (Frankly everything at Selkie reminds me of the 80s and even though I didn't love it in the 80s, I love it on Selkie!)  At this point, allow me to add that the people in this group are generally very gracious and tactful and they often followed negative remarks with something positive like, "I don't like it but I could see someone else making it look good."  Overall, they're very kind and supportive people, and I didn't take anything they said as a personal attack or a form of cruelty, so we're all good there.  But I, for one, loved the lipstick prints even in the 80s, (little girl Leandra sooo wanted a lips phone but was told she wasn't old enough and by the time she was, they no longer made them), and I was thrilled when the kiss prints came back in 2012.  In fact I bought a sweater from XXI around that time with the kiss print which you can see here.  Sadly I didn't get to wear it much because my daughters claimed it and totally wore it out. 

Ever since the New York Fashion Week show in October, I zeroed in on that print and have been hoping and dreaming that Selkie would put it on the Beach Day Dress and then just days before the drop I found out that they did!  It just goes to show that if you want something enough and your heart is pure, dreams can come true!  So, when I was excited and so many others were repelled at this Kiss on the Lips Print, it had an effect on me.  

There were so many of the same negative comments that I started to wonder if I should buy it or not.  I don't want to look tacky or cheap, or like an old lady who's trying to look young, but, let's face it, nothing Selkie makes is exactly timeless or neutral.  They make fashion forward things with impractical princess vibes and wearing them is going to make you stand out.

I definitely understand feeling like you've outgrown certain prints or that a certain print is just not for you.  In fact when everyone was tripping over themselves to get the pastel unicorn prints in December, I was content to pass.  They seemed too young and just generally not right for me.  I still loved the print, if I were 20 years younger I would have totally gone for it and I loved everyone's beautiful photos in them even people who were my age still looked great, it just wasn't right for me.  I was relieved that I didn't love them because it meant I wasn't tempted to buy.

Even though they weren't right for me, because I saw them look really cute on others, I try not to take these sorts of comments to heart because everyone is different.  But, I must admit, that even as confident as I am in my own tastes and personal style, with so many resoundingly negative opinions, I started to question myself.  I even started to think maybe I didn't like it so much and I wouldn't buy it.  Then I stopped and remembered the Asch Conformity experiments.

If memory serves, in the experiment, subjects were placed in a room with ringers and shown some line segments.  They were then asked which line segments were the same length and the answer was fairly obvious.  After they answered, the ringers then disagreed with them, insisting that two lines of different lengths were in fact the same.  Nearly all of the time, the subject caved and changed their answer to match that of the others.  

These experiments were conducted in the 1950s and essentially revealed that it's not so very difficult to get people to change their minds, to say things that are completely untrue and even when they are easily observable as untrue, and to ignore reality, in order to conform to the group.  And believe me when I say that I felt the pressure.  Maybe if everyone else thought it was ugly, I was wrong and it actually was an ugly print.  I pondered, I consulted others, I pondered some more.  Then I looked at the photo of the dress and I made my decision.

Just because there are a lot of people saying something doesn't mean it's true.  Especially when it comes to fashion, it's rarely a matter of true or false, just assessments and inclinations and a lot of opinions.  Opinions are just opinions, everyone has one; sometimes they're helpful and sometimes they're total crap, and more often than not, they change especially when it comes to fashion.  What everyone loves today, they'll be panning tomorrow.  I've definitely changed my mind on fashion trends, but there are certain things that I like, always have and always will.  

Since I've never been terribly good at conforming, I decided to buy the dress (it was one of only two only my wishlist from the NYFW show), to love it because I love it and make little 1980s Leandra's dream come true, and to not worry about what other people think.  And the very best part of all is that even people who didn't like the dress were still there to celebrate with me when I bought it because it made me happy.  They're good people and I love that we can share this with each other even if we don't agree on everything.  So, while this story of a scandalous kiss ends with friendship and support instead of broken hearts, I think it's a far better ending and more in keeping with the spirit of Valentine's Day.

Shopping Info:  Kiss on the Lips Beach Day Dress-$299 from Selkiecollection.com

The Best Kind of Days

Snow days are slow days, that linger on in the pleasant tasks of tending the fire, reading books and waiting for tea to steep.  The day after New Year's was a day like this, it was sans snow, but still my very favorite kind of day.  It was the kind of day that moved so slowly that it seemed to last forever.  The morning was filled with errand running and yet by the time I got home, it was only 9:00.  I sat down and made a list of all the things I needed still to accomplish with my day and after a cup of coffee I started on the first chore on my to-do list and washed a load of dishes.  

Since the holidays passed me completely by without our family making a single batch of cookies, I decided to remedy that immediately in the new year by whipping up a batch of pecan butter cookies. While they were in the fridge chilling for two hours, I started a painting.  Two hours is the exact amount of time I allow myself to do any painting.  Painting is only relaxing to a point.  After two hours I get frustrated, and so no matter how it looks, when the timer dings, it's paintbrushes down, I'm done.  

By noon my children were both up and my youngest asked if we could make a second batch of cookies together.  So, after a lovely lunch we began a second batch of butter cookies, but these were sans pecans and instead had centers of blackberry jam.  While the second batch of cookies chilled for two hours, I asked my daughters if they would like to take a walk.  

The day was as warm as a June morning and the sky was covered with a blanket of thick gray clouds but we weren't expecting rain for hours yet.  It was just perfect for a long stroll.  About 20 minutes into our walk it started to rain.  We paused and considered turning back but the rain was warm and we were having such a good time we decided to press on.  It was lovely walking in the rain, laughing and talking.  Then the gentle rain turned to a freezing deluge.  

We turned back when the lightning began, but by now it was a good half hour back to the house.  Not easily discouraged, I reminded my girls of the time while we were living in Japan that we walked several miles in a cold Typhoon with one girl having a broken toe and the beginnings of a fever.  I reminded them of just how hard the walk was but how much better a hot cup of tea and a warm blanket felt after such a walk.  The temperature dropped rapidly while we walked and by the time we reached our door the laughter was silent, our clothes were soaked, and we could see our breath in the air.  But, after hot cups of tea, fuzzy blankets and warm butter cookies were distributed all around we passed a pleasant recovery together before beginning work on the second batch of cookies.   

After they were baked and cooling, the rain stopped and the sun came out so we decided to try again for a walk and this time made it all the way there and back in pleasant conversation and without feeling a drop.  Then it was time to feed the animals and start dinner and after those things were done, there was time for another cookie and a few rounds of our favorite card game.  In my experience it is usually the best days that fly by us and the saddest days slow into eternity.  So, on the rare occasion that I have a perfectly sweet and amiable day when the clock procrastinates I embrace them with the utmost gratitude as the rare gift they are.

Shopping Info:  Van Gogh Sunflower Tea Rose Dress from Selkiecollection.com

One Skirt: Six Styles

It all started in 2015 with a shopping trip to ThredUp and a skirt, a simple mini plaid pencil skirt by H&M with a palette of pink purple and burgundy.  

Seven years and a half dozen outfits later I still wear this dress every year, usually in February as I think it is the perfect blend of winter warmth and Valentine colors.

I've worn it to work, to church and even on a date night or two, and through all these years it still looks just as it did when I got it new-to-me years ago.  It's nothing if not a testament to the timelessness of a a really great piece of clothing and the versatility of a great print.

So today I thought I'd just feature all the ways I've worn this skirt that have been captured on camera just as a reminder to keep items of clothing novel by experimenting with different ways to style one piece.

The Valentine's Day Line-up

One Week.  I only get two weeks in February to wear all my pinkest and heart-shapiest dresses and I spent one whole week snowed in.  It couldn't be helped, but I already had it all planned out and I was so disappointed to lose a whole week.  Well, with one week gone, I was down to only three work days and one date night in which I could wear my prettiest pinks, so I narrowed it down to these four dresses.  I used several hours of one of my snow days to dig these dresses out of storage and steam out the wrinkles so they'll be ready for wear.

1.  Sea Shanty Singing in Pink

2. Confectioner's Dream Dress in Pink

3.  Movers and Bakers dress

4. Bleached Venus Silk Puff Dupe

Date Night Dresses

Lately Mr. Bleu and I have reinstated Date Night.  We tried to make it a regular thing as a sort of New Year's resolution, but that year was 2020.  We got in two date nights, the last one being in February for Valentine's day and then covid locked the world down and date night was no more.

We have the occasional night out together, but as far as making it a regular event, we've not had much luck.  I have to give credit for this idea to a client of Mr. Bleu's for recommending the restaurant that he manages. It's an Italian Steakhouse; steak and pasta?  I'm there!  We made a point to go and it was amazing!  At the end of that fantastic meal, we decided to go to a coffee house for hot drinks and as we chatted, we realized how much we've missed going out.

It's been far too long and we don't really have any good reasons not to go out.  Our kids are old enough to have their own plans on the weekends and we don't go anywhere so extravagant that it breaks the bank, so why not pick a day each week when we dress up, and enjoy good food and good conversation.

You know me, every excuse to dress up, but puff dresses like this are pretty impractical for work or most events.  However, for dinner out, I dress up as much as I like, even if we're going to a restaurant with a dress code that's pretty chill, so I've been wearing all these dresses in a rotation and having ever so much fun with it.  steak and pasta in my Patchouli Puff and burgers and poutine in my Plaid Puff.  And for this dress?  For this dress I'm thinking brick oven pizza and craft beer.

Everyone needs something to look forward to, and although the weather is always threatening our plans, I'm hoping this time around we can keep date night going because it really is the perfect end to what have been some very stressful weeks.  

Shopping Info:  Paisley Ruffle Dress, Tights from WeLoveColors, Pandora Boots from VIVAIA

Porcelain Options

This adorable little Porcelain Cottage Puff dupe caught my eye and this was one of the rare occasions that there were dupe accessories released in this print as well, so I thought it would be fun as a throwback to my early blogging days to try this dress all three ways in a single post.

So, right off, let me say that this is a very nice dupe.  The colors are nice, it's a good length for this style of dress and it feels like cotton or a cotton blend, not scratchy or plasticky.  I bought a small and it fits like an XS or XXS I would say, so pay attention to the size chart when you buy.

In addition to the dress, I got two different styles of corset belt to go with it.  The corset vest is a slightly different color of blue but appears to be made of similar fabric, while the corset belt is spot on for color but is made of a stretchy spandex-like material.

Wearing the corset vest, you can see a slight color difference, but I actually like it because it creates a little more contrast, and of the two accessories, I think this one is my favorite because it really creates a waist and helps tame those puffy sleeves a little.

Once again, I ordered a size small on this vest and I cannot lace it all the way closed because it is too tight.  I like the open front so that's not a complaint, but be advised that you will likely need to size up for this piece.

This second corset belt arrived first and you can see it being worn in my haul video for this collection, I'll post it at the bottom.  I like it way more than I thought I would and I think it makes the dress much more visually interesting than the dress by itself.  I don't know if the other cottage dupes are this nice, but I love this one and I really hope they come out with these corsets in more prints!  I'll keep you posted if they do!

Shopping Info: Porcelain Corset Belt-$13.05, Porcelain Cottage Puff-$22.51, Porcelain Corset Vest $12.61

The Roaring 20s with Retro-Stage

In the 1920s much a of war-weary world decided to cast off previous mores and restrictions and celebrate like never before.  Art and culture were changing as Art Deco came to dominate all forms of design with its unique blend of bold geometric forms with luxurious materials, the economy was booming allowing things like entertaining and travel which had previously been only for the very wealthy was to open up to a burgeoning middle class, and fashion, was following suit by being looser, shorter, and showing a little more skin and a little less restraint.

The 1920s produced some of my most favorite styles and I've been aching for ages to try one of these glamorous sequin maxi flapper gowns.  Since Retro Stage offers so many beautiful dresses from the 1950s, 60s, and my beloved 1920s, when they reached out about a collaboration, I jumped at the chance and was thrilled when they sent this Black 1920s Sequin dress and the best part is that you can save an extra 15% off your purchase with code Leandra15.  

Retro-Stage offers sizes from US2 all the way to US18.  This lovely dress fits true to size.  It is well made and the you can see for yourself from the photos the way the sequins catch the light and make this dress glow.  Wearing this lovely gown, I feel like I've stepped out of the pages of history.  The area where I live was actually a booming vacation spot for oil barons, politicians, and gangsters alike during prohibition and wearing this dress, I feel like I could have rubbed elbows with even the most glamourous party-goers. 

There are more lovely dresses on the way from my collaboration with Retro-Stage and I cannot wait to show you these stunning vintage looks!  Plus my full YouTube review will be available soon as well.

Shopping Info:  Black 1920s Sequin Flapper Maxi Dress-$59.99 from Retro Stage  Save an extra 15% with my promo code Leandra15.